Author Topic: Latest Facebook friend request app - how can you tell if you've been "denied'?  (Read 11370 times)

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kingsrings

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I dislike the change FB has made to their friend request process. Now, if someone doesn't want to friend you, they don't have the choice of just plain deleting your request, it gets placed on "hold" for several months. So how can I tell if I've been denied, then? If someone doesn't want me on their friend list, I would just like to cancel the request then instead of waiting one or more months for it to "disappear". If someone with more FB knowledge than me can tell me how I can find this out, please let me know.

ilrag

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If you go to their page and you can hit "send friend request" it's been denied.  If it's pending it will be an unclickable link.

kingsrings

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No, you can't deny friend requests on FB anymore, there's no option to do it. You can either accept the friend request, or put it on "pending" (or phrased something like that), where it will sit for three months, and then disappear if you haven't accepted the friend request. What I want to know is how do I know someone has put me on "pending", so I can cancel the friend request.

ilrag

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It's the same answer either way. If they've been online and you're not yet friends, then you can be sure that they haven't approved the request.

So if you friend requested them, and you can see account activity (ex: they posted a new status update or changed their profile pic) then you know you're "pending".

If you can't see any of their activity because they're on the highest privacy settings then there's not a way I'm aware of to know if they've logged in to even see their new friend requests.

Hanna

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I've had people accept my friend request so long after that I forgot I made it and for that reason, I wouldn't ever cancel a request. 

kingsrings

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I just figured if it's in pending status, and you know they've been online frequently enough to see it, then they're not interested in accepting it and are just letting it phase out. But I probably should give them a week before I cancel it.

Germane Jackson

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Yeah it's kind of silly the way it is now. Somebody sent me a random friend request and I didn't accept it. It only lets you 'hide' it now. Now every time I look at FB I see that I have '1 hidden request'. Well I'm tired of it being there, I don't want it hidden, I want it gone :P

Eisa

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You can delete the request, though. If you look at the page with all your friend requests, you can click on "x hidden requests" and say "delete request." So that's something?
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KimberlyRose

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You can delete the request, though. If you look at the page with all your friend requests, you can click on "x hidden requests" and say "delete request." So that's something?

Thanks for posting this.  Last time I got a request that I didn't want to accept, deleting it wasn't an option.  I wasn't too wild about the idea that anyone could send a friend request and then see my wall until the request went away.

KimberlyRose

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You can delete the request, though. If you look at the page with all your friend requests, you can click on "x hidden requests" and say "delete request." So that's something?

Thanks for posting this.  Last time I got a request that I didn't want to accept, deleting it wasn't an option.  I wasn't too wild about the idea that anyone could send a friend request and then see my wall until the request went away.

They can't see it unless you accept, can they?

I've had a couple of instances where I've sent a friend request and the person's posts started showing up in my feed before my request was accepted (in one case, it was more than a month, so it wasn't a facebook glitch).  It may have something to do with privacy settings, I don't know specifics, but it does happen.

squeakers

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Is there anything you can do as the friend-er if you decide (while you are in limbo) that you no longer like the person you tried to friend and don't want them to be able to accept your friend request and access your profile even if they wanted to?



Go to their profile and click the "x" at the top, next to "Awaiting friend confirmation."
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flowersintheattic

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I had a similar problem when someone I was 'friends' with did something terrible in-real-life.  As a result of the fallout from her actions she deleted her facebook account. I wanted to defriend and block her, but had to wait until her facebook account was later re-activated since there is no way to delete or block an account that is no longer valid... she re-activated in the middle of the night, with full access to the profiles of all the people who had previously friended her.  Only when we realised she was back could we delete/block her.



A little off the main topic, but I think you can block people without accounts, but I'm not sure. I know that you can (or used to be able to, at any rate) block email addresses, so anyone who started an account with a blocked email address would be blocked from the get-go.
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AdakAK

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You can see public things, like their profile pic changes. I have had that happen where I was pending and something showed up in my feed but I still could not see things that were set to private.

half_dollars

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I had a similar problem when someone I was 'friends' with did something terrible in-real-life.  As a result of the fallout from her actions she deleted her facebook account. I wanted to defriend and block her, but had to wait until her facebook account was later re-activated since there is no way to delete or block an account that is no longer valid... she re-activated in the middle of the night, with full access to the profiles of all the people who had previously friended her.  Only when we realised she was back could we delete/block her.



A little off the main topic, but I think you can block people without accounts, but I'm not sure. I know that you can (or used to be able to, at any rate) block email addresses, so anyone who started an account with a blocked email address would be blocked from the get-go.

Yes, I did this.  I blocked two email addresses, so that they couldn't find me, or somehow access my pictures, even though my settings are pretty tight.  They opened a FB acct (DH didn't have them blocked), and I've never been able to search for them or see them.  I think this is a great feature!  Well, until people start using a new email address on their FB page. . .

Bluenomi

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Yeah it's kind of silly the way it is now. Somebody sent me a random friend request and I didn't accept it. It only lets you 'hide' it now. Now every time I look at FB I see that I have '1 hidden request'. Well I'm tired of it being there, I don't want it hidden, I want it gone :P

If you go into your list of hidden requests you can delete a request and facebook assures you the person won't know. I did this today with someone from high school I don't want to friend at all

ETA someone beat me to it  ;)