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Author Topic: My mare was ridden without my permission. How to handle? update page 30  (Read 116444 times)

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VorFemme

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Re: My mare was ridden without my permission. How to handle?
« Reply #45 on: January 22, 2011, 03:41:35 PM »
Okay - preteen (why was I thinking "teen"?) - she is young and IMMATURE enough (brain still growing and developing) that consequences to HER are "you'll get in trouble if someone finds out" but she doesn't realize that someone WILL find out and that what she is expecting (possibly a scolding - maybe even the mucking out) aren't a measure of how (potentially) serious this is.

Has she ever even heard of Christopher Reeve's accident on a horse (ironically just before he was supposed to film a safety video on wearing a helmet while riding)?  Has she ever seen a horse injured badly enough that it took more than a couple of days of rest for it to be "all better"?  

I like the idea of a ten page paper on what kind of injuries could result for horse and rider - then a second research paper on what the LEGAL consequences could be for theft by taking of something costing what the horse does (most horses cost enough that it would not be a misdemeanor, sorry about that, kid - that was a felony).

I remember a story in the news from an old home town - some seventh grader decided that she didn't want to go back to school after Easter break, so she set a fire that burned down the junior high school.............the town had to scramble to find books, lockers, and an empty building to set up a temporary junior high school (middle school?) to use for the rest of the school year.

I'm sure that she ended up in the juvenile justice system and ended up going to school elsewhere........probably wearing an orange denim jumper........but she probably wasn't THINKING about anything except that "if there's no school, we won't have to go".  

Same way Carly (about the same age or a little younger) was probably thinking "nobody will notice if I ride this awesome mare and put her back where I found her".........and didn't think about a tired, sweaty mare looking a lot different than a clean, rested mare..........I'm also guessing that she didn't clean the tack, if she remembered to put it away.
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Nurvingiel

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Re: My mare was ridden without my permission. How to handle?
« Reply #46 on: January 22, 2011, 03:48:17 PM »
A pre-teen, even an immature one, is capable of understanding that No Means No.

I guess she thought it meant No Means Don't Let Them Catch You.
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charlotte26

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Re: My mare was ridden without my permission. How to handle?
« Reply #47 on: January 22, 2011, 03:57:06 PM »
I guess what is bothering me about this whole situation is the fact that this girl was so sneaky and had such
a feeling of entitlement towards the OP's horse . The OP mentioned that Jack was an outside instructor and likely thought that she
had been given permission to use the horse. I think that he will likely never make that mistake again.
 
 I agree that the punishment  does not go far enough. I think that she should be banned from riding for longer and if she shows then she should have to miss some of the shows as well. Honestly, if I was the owner of the barn I don't think I would someone like that in my barn who showed so little regard for this horse. This girl may be young but she is old enough to realize that she could have hurt the horse. Anyone that is around horses long enough knows that if you give a horse a length of time off , you have to condition to bring them back. Caly could have easily caused this horse to go lame.

EMuir

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Re: My mare was ridden without my permission. How to handle?
« Reply #48 on: January 22, 2011, 03:57:37 PM »
After some thought, I think the stable needs to accept more responsibility too.  Who is keeping someone from riding just any old horse, or from stealing them?  What kind of secure place is that?  Even if there were a lineup of rude preteens clamoring to ride OP's horse, the stable should not have let it happen.

NutMeg

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Re: My mare was ridden without my permission. How to handle?
« Reply #49 on: January 22, 2011, 04:35:21 PM »
I would find somewhere else to board my horse. This topic is making me pretty mad, so that is the only one of my suggestions that I think is suitable at this point.
"You're hostages! This is a life-and-death situation here. Start acting like it! We're your captors. We're armed. There's rules. There's a whole school of etiquette to this!" - Dr. Daniel Jackson                

Aggiesque

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Re: My mare was ridden without my permission. How to handle?
« Reply #50 on: January 22, 2011, 04:38:48 PM »
Can you lock her stall, so only the manager/you can remove the horse? One barn I worked at did things that way (owner and staff had keys), and it worked very well.

Of course, if she's taking the horse out of a paddock, that's another issue...
« Last Edit: January 22, 2011, 04:47:54 PM by Aggiesque »
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LeeLee88

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Re: My mare was ridden without my permission. How to handle?
« Reply #51 on: January 22, 2011, 04:54:09 PM »
I would find somewhere else to board my horse. This topic is making me pretty mad, so that is the only one of my suggestions that I think is suitable at this point.

Werd.  I'm seeing red right now.  I told my husband about it, and his eyes almost fell out.  Yes, we're both horse people, but I mean... this kid just doesn't even get it... I'm right there with you, NutMeg.

I'mnotinsane

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Re: My mare was ridden without my permission. How to handle?
« Reply #52 on: January 22, 2011, 04:58:07 PM »
Can you lock her stall, so only the manager/you can remove the horse? One barn I worked at did things that way (owner and staff had keys), and it worked very well.

Of course, if she's taking the horse out of a paddock, that's another issue...
[/quote

Isn't this dangerous?  What if there was a fire?

LeveeWoman

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Re: My mare was ridden without my permission. How to handle?
« Reply #53 on: January 22, 2011, 05:01:56 PM »
Maybe I'm being optimistic but, I think a pre-teen who is forbidden from riding while having to muck out the stalls will learn her lesson. And, we don't know what kind of punishment she's getting at home.

Calypso

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Re: My mare was ridden without my permission. How to handle?
« Reply #54 on: January 22, 2011, 05:02:46 PM »
Much more effective than any involvement with the police would be what some pps suggested---make her write a (long) research paper acknowledging that what she did was wrong and explaining why (assign any additional topics to it you find appropriate). It sounds like her Mom would be supportive of this, so don't hesitate to insist on a page length you find suitable and re-dos if her first effort isn't good enough (or looks like it's been cut-and-pasted from the internet. In fact, I'll offer to check it for you---I have some experience with being able to tell when kids have actually done their writing assignments).

I guarantee she'll "feel" this punishment >:D and it will likely improve her attitude in the long run.

LeveeWoman

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Re: My mare was ridden without my permission. How to handle?
« Reply #55 on: January 22, 2011, 05:05:55 PM »
Much more effective than any involvement with the police would be what some pps suggested---make her write a (long) research paper acknowledging that what she did was wrong and explaining why (assign any additional topics to it you find appropriate). It sounds like her Mom would be supportive of this, so don't hesitate to insist on a page length you find suitable and re-dos if her first effort isn't good enough (or looks like it's been cut-and-pasted from the internet. In fact, I'll offer to check it for you---I have some experience with being able to tell when kids have actually done their writing assignments).

I guarantee she'll "feel" this punishment >:D and it will likely improve her attitude in the long run.

SoCalVal suggested this on the previous page. I'd also think research and writing about how to take care of a horse after riding it would help, too.

Ms_Shell

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Re: My mare was ridden without my permission. How to handle?
« Reply #56 on: January 22, 2011, 05:07:24 PM »
I'm not a horse owner or rider, so forgive me if this is an ignorant question - but aren't you supposed to walk the horse around so it's not panting before you put it away?  And also, aren't you supposed to wash it or clean it somehow so that it's not sweaty?  I know I've read a book where the characters are wiping the horses down with straw or something.    

If that's the case, Caly didn't just steal your horse for a joyride, she left your horse in bad shape too.  
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Nurvingiel

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Re: My mare was ridden without my permission. How to handle?
« Reply #57 on: January 22, 2011, 05:08:53 PM »
Much more effective than any involvement with the police would be what some pps suggested---make her write a (long) research paper acknowledging that what she did was wrong and explaining why (assign any additional topics to it you find appropriate). It sounds like her Mom would be supportive of this, so don't hesitate to insist on a page length you find suitable and re-dos if her first effort isn't good enough (or looks like it's been cut-and-pasted from the internet. In fact, I'll offer to check it for you---I have some experience with being able to tell when kids have actually done their writing assignments).

I guarantee she'll "feel" this punishment >:D and it will likely improve her attitude in the long run.

SoCalVal suggested this on the previous page. I'd also think research and writing about how to take care of a horse after riding it would help, too.
If you go this route, she should also put in writing that she will never touch your horse again. Maybe you should do this regardless.

Now, she's a minor and can't be held to a contract. So you could draw one up where her parents sign it and promise that she will never touch your horse again.

I'm not a horse owner or rider, so forgive me if this is an ignorant question - but aren't you supposed to walk the horse around so it's not panting before you put it away?  And also, aren't you supposed to wash it or clean it somehow so that it's not sweaty?  I know I've read a book where the characters are wiping the horses down with straw or something.    

If that's the case, Caly didn't just steal your horse for a joyride, she left your horse in bad shape too.  
I'm not a horse person either but that's what I thought too. I thought that horses could get chills from being sweaty, so you had to wipe or brush them until the sweat was gone.

She was probably doing post ride chores hastily since she knew she was doing something wrong. She probably put her in the stall, removed the tack and then took off.
If I had some ham, I could have ham and eggs, if I had some eggs.

LeveeWoman

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Re: My mare was ridden without my permission. How to handle?
« Reply #58 on: January 22, 2011, 05:10:37 PM »
By the time her punishment as dictated by the stable is over, she might be so sick of horse manure that she'll never want to ride again.

Shoo

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Re: My mare was ridden without my permission. How to handle?
« Reply #59 on: January 22, 2011, 05:11:42 PM »
It sounds to me like the child's mother has got this situation handled.  She's accepting the suspension, she has been nothing but cooperative, and I'm betting the child is being punished at home.

The calls for police action, or legal action, or requiring the child too write an essay, IMO, is completely over the top.

If I were the child's mother, and the horse's owner and/or the barn manager demanded I make my child write an essay, I'd just shake my head and accept that we were no longer welcome at that barn and find somewhere else for the girl to take lessons.

There comes a point where there isn't any more that can be done, or SHOULD be done.  If the barn owner wants to get rid of the girl, he would have, or will.  But there is no way he can force the child to write an essay.  Just the thought of that is something I find incredulous.

Now, if the parents of this girl want to drive some kind of point home with her and THEY want her to write an essay, then fine.  I suppose they will do that if they think it will help.  But it sounds to me like the mother is taking it seriously, and precautions are going to be put into place so it won't happen again.  

I'm finding all this vitriol kind of upsetting.  I feel for the OP, but some of these posts are so caustic toward the child and I think it's OTT.