is there *any* excuse for being stood up?

[gadget--gal]

This isn't about a present situation but in your opinion should you forgive a date for standing you up? By "Stood up" I mean no phone call, email, text message, nada; and the date and their nearest and dearest are all living and breathing.

At the time I kept going over possbilities in my mind:

Lost? -  you hav a cell phone
tied up- you knew about it, (and you still have a cellphone)
didn't feel like it - tough
nervous  - be a man! (but I prolly don't want you anyway!)

The first time, I got a half-a**ed apology. I gave him short shrift only to be told "I know, and I'm sorry!" gave him a second chance after a while and got stood up again. then i felt foolish. The saying "fool me once..." was in my mind for over a week. There was no apology this time, not even a half-a***d one. I did wonder if his being in the military had anything to do with it but he worked fixed hours and he was off the base both times.

[kckgirl]

This is about a present situation but in your opinion should you forgive a date for standing you up? By "Stood up" I mean no phone call, email, text message, nada; and the date and their nearest and dearest are all living and breathing.

I hope you're not giving him another chance. The only excuse I can think of for not contacting you the same night is an emergency where he didn't have access to a phone (it actually happens; accident, emergency room, etc.). Since that wasn't the case here, he obviously doesn't value your friendship, so I would give him his walking papers.

[gadget--gal]

Sorry, I just re-read my OP it shoudl have been this isn't about a present situation. Thanks for your reply, I agree. I haven't communicated with him in over a year, the second incident was the last straw.

[Lisbeth]

Assuming he didn't have to go to the emergency room, no excuse whatsoever.

[gadget--gal]

I forgot to ask as well, would you give someone another chance?

[Lisbeth]

No.  Standing someone up ignores the fact that they took time out of their lives to come and meet you.  I don't want to give a second chance to someone who is that inconsiderate to me.

Edited to add:  This assumes that I don't hear an apology or even an explanation from the person for why he stood me up.  If it's a genuine emergency (does not include getting arrested), I'll give a second chance.

[Chartreuse]

My brother-in-law has one of the few excuses that actually qualify as a pass for standing somebody up.  Back in high school, he and his buddies pulled a stupid prank involving water balloons and passing cars.  Needless to say, they got busted for it, and his parents decided the best thing they could do to him was leave him in jail overnight.  In the process, he sort of accidentally stood up his new girlfriend (my sister) while he was sitting in the clink with no more phone calls.  He called her the next morning, very apologetic.

I'd say he had one of the very few excuses that actually might be forgiveable.

[NOVA Lady]

LOL the I am in Jail excuse

Though I think it would have to depend on what the guy did in order for that excuse to qualify for a second chance. A little prank like your  brothers might warrant a second chance. Assualt with a deadly weapon- not so much

That had to have been embarassing to explain!

[HushHush]

It would completely depend on the reason for me to decide to give them a second chance.  I had a blind date last weekend and he was fifteen minutes late.  I called a friend to ask what the time frame was before I could assume I had been stood up.  He said at least 30 minutes as 15 could be lost, traffic, etc.  He did show up shortly thereafter and he had gotten lost but didn't have my phone number and could only remember the cross streets for the restuarant.  So, that was an acceptable excuse for being late.

Charlotte

[Cupcake Fiend]

Nope, no excuse.  Since you said he and his loved ones were all still alive and well.  No excuse at all.  Being late is one thing, and sometimes unavoidable, but to be completely stood up with no phone call or word of any kind...ugh.

Man oh man am I glad I will never have to date again!

[Lunadiana75]

Sigh.  As a veteran of the dating world, I understand.  When you're really into a guy, you want to give him a second chance.  Blow, that one as well, and you are forever off my list. 

[Katharine]

I think it also depends on what happens after. If they were really lost and had no cell phone but I came home to a message saying they were sorry I might give them better directions next time and try it again. If I didn't hear from them again for days I wouldn't give another chance.

[ImperfctMe]

Nope. No excuse whatsoever for being stood up, aside from medical emergencies or unintended incarcerations. In my experience, you're being stood up because "something better" than you became available at the last minute. They're testing you to see if you will let them get away with it. Then you become a booty call, someone they don't respect. This is per my more wolfish male bachelor friends who live in Manhattan. The ones I don't introduce to my nice girlfriends but who are usually good for a steak dinner and a fun evening, if a superficial one.

[StaciNadia]

I once gave a guy a second chance after standing me up.  We had a nice first date, he stood me up on the second date.  We scheduled a third date, but nope, didn't show up again.  What a jerk.   

[Clara Bow]

Death is an excuse, but I will also accept massive blood loss, blunt force trauma to the head and seizure activity. Anything that will render you unable to call due to profound injury. Beyond that, you're toast.