Author Topic: Asking about absent members  (Read 6616 times)

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sparksals

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Re: Asking about absent members
« Reply #15 on: January 27, 2011, 09:23:01 PM »
I remember there was a very long thread dedicated to asking about missing members or whatever happened to.... It was eventually locked and I don't understand why.

Of course the mods can determine the rules anyway the see fit, but I personally don't see the harm in asking about people.  Just as someone said upthread this is the internet, there are many long time members that become close and then are missed when they no longer post. 

I think it is a genuine curiosity, especially when there are so many long term members.  I've been here since the prior board - in fact, I think this year is my 10th year of membership dating back to 2001 (or maybe earlier).  Many people come and go, but just like Mrs Wine, I do wonder if something unfortunate has happened. 

I belong to a recipe website that recently changed hands.  It used to be a very cohesive group and when members passed away, their family notified one of their friends there.  We had a few people very sick and knew the end was near, but we also had a couple where the death was very sudden.  I think the only person here I remember hearing about passing was Cindy.... and that was years ago. 

Anyway, I'm sure some old members have suffered unfortunate endings.  I just don't understand why asking about them is discouraged. 

jimithing

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Re: Asking about absent members
« Reply #16 on: January 27, 2011, 09:30:31 PM »
I remember there was a very long thread dedicated to asking about missing members or whatever happened to.... It was eventually locked and I don't understand why.

Of course the mods can determine the rules anyway the see fit, but I personally don't see the harm in asking about people.  Just as someone said upthread this is the internet, there are many long time members that become close and then are missed when they no longer post. 

I think it is a genuine curiosity, especially when there are so many long term members.  I've been here since the prior board - in fact, I think this year is my 10th year of membership dating back to 2001 (or maybe earlier).  Many people come and go, but just like Mrs Wine, I do wonder if something unfortunate has happened. 

I belong to a recipe website that recently changed hands.  It used to be a very cohesive group and when members passed away, their family notified one of their friends there.  We had a few people very sick and knew the end was near, but we also had a couple where the death was very sudden.  I think the only person here I remember hearing about passing was Cindy.... and that was years ago. 

Anyway, I'm sure some old members have suffered unfortunate endings.  I just don't understand why asking about them is discouraged. 

I'm wondering if mods are worried that if it's someone who was banned/gagged, if people might start questioning the reason why and that it's unfair, etc?

But I agree with you. I think if the thread doesn't become gossipy then it would be nice to know what happened to some posters.

Scuba_Dog

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Re: Asking about absent members
« Reply #17 on: January 27, 2011, 09:38:56 PM »
http://www.etiquettehell.com/smf/index.php?topic=64573.15

This might be it.  It does have an explanation.
"If you are going through hell, keep going."
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DottyG

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Re: Asking about absent members
« Reply #18 on: January 27, 2011, 10:48:38 PM »
Scuba, you rock. That's the one I was thinking of. :)


Scuba_Dog

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Re: Asking about absent members
« Reply #19 on: January 27, 2011, 11:03:32 PM »
Scuba, you rock. That's the one I was thinking of. :)


  :)
"If you are going through hell, keep going."
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sparksals

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Re: Asking about absent members
« Reply #20 on: January 27, 2011, 11:09:19 PM »
I remember there was a very long thread dedicated to asking about missing members or whatever happened to.... It was eventually locked and I don't understand why.

Of course the mods can determine the rules anyway the see fit, but I personally don't see the harm in asking about people.  Just as someone said upthread this is the internet, there are many long time members that become close and then are missed when they no longer post. 

I think it is a genuine curiosity, especially when there are so many long term members.  I've been here since the prior board - in fact, I think this year is my 10th year of membership dating back to 2001 (or maybe earlier).  Many people come and go, but just like Mrs Wine, I do wonder if something unfortunate has happened. 

I belong to a recipe website that recently changed hands.  It used to be a very cohesive group and when members passed away, their family notified one of their friends there.  We had a few people very sick and knew the end was near, but we also had a couple where the death was very sudden.  I think the only person here I remember hearing about passing was Cindy.... and that was years ago. 

Anyway, I'm sure some old members have suffered unfortunate endings.  I just don't understand why asking about them is discouraged. 

I'm wondering if mods are worried that if it's someone who was banned/gagged, if people might start questioning the reason why and that it's unfair, etc?

But I agree with you. I think if the thread doesn't become gossipy then it would be nice to know what happened to some posters.

On the old board, there was a folder that listed who was banned/gagged.  I think it was done on a test basis b/c people frequently asked where X went.  IIRC, (and I could be wrong b/c this was a loooong time ago), there was a poll asking if we would like to know who was banned/gagged.   I also think that no one could post in that thread.  Each post just announced who was gone.   It worked for awhile and then the folder was removed.

Personally, I don't care who is gagged or banned.  Chances are, we would see that coming.  But when a long term, very active members suddenly disappears, doesn't post and becomes completely inactive, I do wonder.  think that is what most people wonder when they ask about X, Y and Z.

sparksals

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Re: Asking about absent members
« Reply #21 on: January 27, 2011, 11:18:51 PM »
Ahhh.... That explains it. 

Dindrane

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Re: Asking about absent members
« Reply #22 on: January 28, 2011, 02:27:14 PM »
I'm just posting to say that I understand why asking about people is frowned upon, but I also understand wondering about someone who just isn't around anymore.  It's hard to let it go, if you have no other way of contacting that person, although I don't really know what else you can do. :-\