Disclosing vegan menu to guests?

[Visiting Crazy Town]

 In this case I honestly do think that  the OP should let the wedding guest know that  she is serving a vegan menu, because she isn't a vegan of vegetarian.  If I was going to the wedding of a person I knew didn't eat meat then I wouldn't be surprised that  they  didn't serve it , but if I'm going to a wedding of a person who i knew ate meat I would be quite surprised at a vegan menu.

[hobish]

Somebody mentioned the reaction they notice from people when regular peanut butter and jelly is specifically termed as vegetarian peanut butter and jelly. If somebody referred to regulat old Jif and Welch's Grape Jelly they might get a strange reaction from me, not because I felt like there was something wrong with the sandwich but because going out of the way to use the term "vegetarian" would make be a bit wary.  I would wonder what point they felt they had to prove or what agenda they wanted to promote.

Speaking as a non-vegetarian here -

I know that vegetarians pay more attention to what's in their food than I do.  I enjoy being able to just buy what tastes good and not worry about what exactly is in it.  Because of that, when someone specifies "vegetarian grilled cheese" or "vegetarian PB & J," I don't know if that's the "normal" kind or whether there's some weird non-vegetarian element of my "normal" sandwich.  I tend to assume that if a "normal" grilled cheese was vegetarian they wouldn't need to specify, though, so it stands to reason a "vegetarian" grilled cheese probably has some strange-to-me substitutions, like vegan cheese or lard-free bread or whatnot.  I don't know - I'm not usually keeping that close an eye on the source of the ingredients    So if people seem a bit wary about perfectly normal food being labeled "vegetarian," that's why.  I'd probably avoid "100% guaranteed asbestos-free!" breakfast cereal as well, on the same principle 

That said, LadyL, I would encourage you to include at least a few "normal" (to omnivores) menu items along with the more unusual ones.  It's hard to judge whether you'll like completely new-to-you items like flax crust or cashew cheese, and (depending on the environment) it could be awkward for people to commit to an entree only to find out they don't like the vegan substitutions for whatever ingredients they're used to.  Hopefully the inclusion of things like "normal" fruit salad, etc. will help your anti-vegan friends and relatives from feeling too out of their depth.

This is what I have been thinking but couldn’t find the right words.
… I used to be vegetarian, if that matters any.

[Sheila Take a Bow]

I've been to a vegan wedding (the bride and groom were vegans, most of the guests were not).  The food was amazing, and one of my favorite wedding meals ever.  The guests were happy, and no one complained about not being full at the end of the meal.

My friends' caterer was not only vegan but also avoided processed foods wherever possible, so instead of using fake meats or tofu the proteins were mostly nuts and beans.  The dishes were things that were naturally vegan; no one felt like they were being forced to eat a mystery protein.  And the food was delicious -- kind of a mix-up of Indian and Ethiopian flavors.

So I think it's possible to have a vegan menu that can satisfy everyone, but I do think that it requires some creativity and it really helps if you emphasize minimally processed foods over "fake meat" proteins.  People may still miss the meat, but they won't feel like you're only serving "weird" food that they're not willing to eat.

[Winterlight]

In this case I honestly do think that  the OP should let the wedding guest know that  she is serving a vegan menu, because she isn't a vegan of vegetarian.  If I was going to the wedding of a person I knew didn't eat meat then I wouldn't be surprised that  they  didn't serve it , but if I'm going to a wedding of a person who i knew ate meat I would be quite surprised at a vegan menu.

Agreed. I would personally like a little forewarning so I know to eat ahead of time- I can't eat beans or soy, and nuts are also problematic. That really limits my options for vegan food.

[ilrag]

I also think that if you are serving something that looks like a commonly served item, such as pizza, but contains very unexpected ingredients, it should be noted. The flax-crust pizza is an excellent example. When most people see a pizza, they assume it is a wheat-based crust with regular cheese on it and they might not think to ask if it contains flax or almonds, even though they may be allergic.

Agreed. It would simply not occur to me that the dish in front of me that looks like cheese pizza is something very different.

Exactly.  As the sucker who can't eat flax I generally try to be careful when I have a heads up.

For example, did you know that some people make pie/pastry crust with flax in the flour mix? It's less rare then you think, BUT I can usually figure out if I need to worry based on the situation.

If I can't see an ingredient list I never eat whole grain bread outside of my house. Some whole grain breads have flax seed. (Ditto pasta)

If I'm at a greasy spoon/diner type eating establishment I wouldn't think twice about asking if there's flax seed in the pie crust - there isn't.

If I'm at a local vegan restaurant (or vegan friendly, or generally ...'crunchy' type place) I will either skip dessert, or ask if they use it in their pastries.

I wouldn't expect it at a wedding because it's kind of an odd ingredient, BUT if I knew the wedding was catered vegan I'd be 100% more mindful of what I was putting in my mouth.  Why? Because flax is a grain with a lot of protein, which is why it's used in vegan food.

You just need to let people know what they're dealing with.

[SoCalVal]

Hmmm, I don't think you have any requirement to advise people that they menu is vegan, however if I were selecting my choice, I'd find "basil pesto entrée with cashews" to be oddly vague. Is it chicken? Is it fish? So I vote for listing the protein source. I think you're between a rock and a hard place. Be vague and have confused guests, or be specific and potentially have to listen to unwanted comments.

If it's any consolation, DH and I had a menu with several meat items and a couple of vegetarian (but not vegan items).  I posted this on our wedding website AND on our FB wedding page so our guests would know what to expect (we were having, for the most part, traditional my-brand-of-Asian food).  We still had unwanted comments...posted on our FB wedding page...from my sister, of all people.  So, sometimes, it doesn't matter what direction you take (as far as my sister is concerned -- while she had a point about not having vegan options, posting two negative comments on our FB page was not the way to go; I deleted both and refused to have any further discussion with her on it -- she'd already proven in the past that she's one of the "don't engage the crazy" sorts and blasting our wedding menu in public was one of the last straws).

[Specky]

I have multiple food allergies that will send me to the hospital if I consume them.  I consider it too burdensome to list these or expect an allergen-free meal from a host (or restaurant) so it is my responsibility to make sure I am nourished.  I always refuse meals and eat either before the event (or take something, even if I have to leave and eat in the car).  I will join friends out for a nice glass of iced tea, though.