Author Topic: How to tell neighbors, "You're cut off!"?  (Read 7262 times)

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Jocelyn

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Re: How to tell neighbors, "You're cut off!"?
« Reply #90 on: Yesterday at 11:21:15 PM »

I think just bluntly, without a word, cutting them off is likely to result in hurt feelings, but telling them that a problem occurred and the solution made the original agreement impossible to continue, is more polite. And less likely to result in an unpleasant scene where the neighbor promises to pay, and is turned down for having not paid (being a deadbeat, is how that might be heard), asks for more time. Because really, what happens if they say 'I've made arrangements, but the installation guy can't get here til the 30th/I can't get off work to be here for the installation til the 30th?' Do you say, 'Sorry, one week is all you get' or do you extend the deadline? And then on the 30th, the installation guy doesn't show...

I don't understand the thinking on the bolded part.  The neighbors are the ones who have already broken up with the OP and voided their agreement when they made the choice not to pay.  The breakup has already occurred, the OP just hasn't reacted to it yet so I don't see where its even vaguely impolite to just shut off their access.
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Well, people aren't always rational. And people often try to minimize their part of the situation and blame things on others. I think it's likely that someone might react 'Well, yeah, I was behind on the payments, but still, it was rude of her to just cut us off without even letting us know!' It may not be right, but the OP has to live with the neighbors. She may be justified in just cutting them off...but she may not want to live with the consequences.

KenveeB

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Re: How to tell neighbors, "You're cut off!"?
« Reply #91 on: Yesterday at 11:34:51 PM »
Well, there's the option of doing a bit of both.
Print out a note for everyone now and stick it in their mailbox ("Dear neighbors: We can't share our Internet anymore, so we've changed the password. I thought I should alert you.") tonight.

And change the password right after you do.

Change the password before sending out the note, and I totally agree with this plan. :)  I think letting them know is reasonable, just not letting them know and continuing to let them use the network.

artk2002

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Re: How to tell neighbors, "You're cut off!"?
« Reply #92 on: Today at 12:16:25 AM »
Well, there's the option of doing a bit of both.
Print out a note for everyone now and stick it in their mailbox ("Dear neighbors: We can't share our Internet anymore, so we've changed the password. I thought I should alert you.") tonight.

And change the password right after you do.

Change the password before sending out the note, and I totally agree with this plan. :)  I think letting them know is reasonable, just not letting them know and continuing to let them use the network.

I agree. OP is already taking a tremendous risk by letting them use the 'net in the first place. Don't compound it by giving them any kind of warning. They've had plenty of time to pay up; they don't deserve any more consideration.
Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things that you didn't do than by the ones you did do. So throw off the bow lines. Sail away from the safe harbor. Catch the trade winds in your sails. Explore. Dream. Discover. -Mark Twain

Bottlecaps

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Re: How to tell neighbors, "You're cut off!"?
« Reply #93 on: Today at 12:32:53 AM »
Update:

We changed the password and the network name yesterday. :) We didn't give any notice to anyone. I figured we would just explain it after the fact if it's brought up. So far no one has brought it up. I know of one person who has probably been out of town for a couple of days (I haven't seen her around) who will ask, I'm sure. I'm just going to say that the arrangement was no longer working for us. We do a lot of heavy computer usage, gaming, and streaming, and need all of our bandwidth available to us. We had been having problems with our speed and it was the result of so much piggybacking. That compounded with the fact that no one was keeping their end of the deal with the payments means that we won't be sharing with anyone anymore, at all. Repeat as necessary.
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TeamBhakta

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Re: How to tell neighbors, "You're cut off!"?
« Reply #94 on: Today at 01:02:48 AM »
The answer to "Why did you cut off my free wi-fi" is "The police were asking about your suspicious internet activities. We cool, man, but *looks around* you know, I don't need more attention from the fuzz"


Kidding, of course

veronaz

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Re: How to tell neighbors, "You're cut off!"?
« Reply #95 on: Today at 01:33:51 AM »
:D @ TeamBhakta

OP glad you cut them off.
« Last Edit: Today at 01:36:05 AM by veronaz »

Hopefull

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Re: How to tell neighbors, "You're cut off!"?
« Reply #96 on: Today at 12:06:59 PM »
Good for you for cutting off everybody else. Please let us know what people say to you when they realize their free Internet is gone :)
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gramma dishes

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Re: How to tell neighbors, "You're cut off!"?
« Reply #97 on: Today at 12:15:54 PM »
I think you made a wise decision.

TeamBhakta

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Re: How to tell neighbors, "You're cut off!"?
« Reply #98 on: Today at 12:34:28 PM »
I think some people are coming up with "Be polite and give notice first" because it's not a tangible good. Along the lines of "It's kinda sorta a free thing just floating around out there." Like when people say "Well, why shouldn't my friend occasionally give free haircuts / medical advice / fitness tips ? She's not creating something or handing me a product." If the OP had offered use of her vacation cabin and the neighbors skipped out on paying, nobody would say "You need to give them time to make other vacation arrangements first."

Winterlight

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Re: How to tell neighbors, "You're cut off!"?
« Reply #99 on: Today at 01:06:14 PM »
How much stress would it cause you to just change the password and deal with the possible fallout versus trying to figure out how to approach them, approaching them, and dealing with the possible fallout?

I thought about it some more and I think the possible fallout would be greater just cutting them off. If you approached the neighbours pleasantly, explained that sharing your connection doesn't work for you any more, and come Friday, they'd need to have their own connection, the conversation could go quiet nicely. You don't even need to say it's because of their non-payment. Just that it no longer works for you. If they ask why, it's just, 'Lots of reasons, and it no longer works.' You could even do all that by letter slipped under their door or in their mailbox if you don't want to confront them.

It's entirely possible that they're just watching Youtube videos, but maybe they're using their connection to monitor their elderly mother's call alert system, or they need t transfer money that night to avoid becoming homeless. Far fetched, I realise, but if they just have no connection all of a sudden one night and need to something urgent, then turn up on your doorstep demanding to know why you cut them off without even a warning, the 'fallout' could become very unpleasant.

You do have to live with these neighbours into the future, right? Passive-aggressively just changing the password and expecting them to 'figure it out' seems like it would stir up a lot more fallout than acting in a more straightforward manner.

Agreed. I don't think you really want a fight with them. End it politely and walk away.
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Mergatroyd

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Re: How to tell neighbors, "You're cut off!"?
« Reply #100 on: Today at 01:40:48 PM »
Update:

We changed the password and the network name yesterday. :) We didn't give any notice to anyone. I figured we would just explain it after the fact if it's brought up. So far no one has brought it up. I know of one person who has probably been out of town for a couple of days (I haven't seen her around) who will ask, I'm sure. I'm just going to say that the arrangement was no longer working for us. We do a lot of heavy computer usage, gaming, and streaming, and need all of our bandwidth available to us. We had been having problems with our speed and it was the result of so much piggybacking. That compounded with the fact that no one was keeping their end of the deal with the payments means that we won't be sharing with anyone anymore, at all. Repeat as necessary.

Sounds like a plan, thanks for updating!

m2kbug

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Re: How to tell neighbors, "You're cut off!"?
« Reply #101 on: Today at 06:32:44 PM »

<snip>

I think just bluntly, without a word, cutting them off is likely to result in hurt feelings, but telling them that a problem occurred and the solution made the original agreement impossible to continue, is more polite. And less likely to result in an unpleasant scene where the neighbor promises to pay, and is turned down for having not paid (being a deadbeat, is how that might be heard), asks for more time. Because really, what happens if they say 'I've made arrangements, but the installation guy can't get here til the 30th/I can't get off work to be here for the installation til the 30th?' Do you say, 'Sorry, one week is all you get' or do you extend the deadline? And then on the 30th, the installation guy doesn't show...

I don't understand the thinking on the bolded part.  The neighbors are the ones who have already broken up with the OP and voided their agreement when they made the choice not to pay.  The breakup has already occurred, the OP just hasn't reacted to it yet so I don't see where its even vaguely impolite to just shut off their access.

As the saying goes, it's the person who hits second that gets caught.  I know I have dragged my feet on too many occasions because of the fear of creating bad rel@tionships, being hated, or even retaliation, even though it was the other people who started it and the other person's actions that caused it.  Think about the other post about the woman who wanted her money back on a trip and proceeded to trash-talk the OP to all her coworkers.  Who will end up thinking the OP is a blankity-blank, even though it's the other woman who is being childish, and how will this affect her professional life?  You know deep down it was THEM, not you, but you end up being the pariah anyway.  I watched this play out with my sister and her neighbors over a situation.  All the neighbors side with the moochers and what horrible people the OP and her husband are.  It happens.  This is why there is "that thinking."  :)  Hopefully it won't turn out this way for the OP, but I understand the hesitation to stand up and do what you need to do.

I'm glad you made the switch, OP. 

Aquamarine

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Re: How to tell neighbors, "You're cut off!"?
« Reply #102 on: Today at 08:54:44 PM »
How much stress would it cause you to just change the password and deal with the possible fallout versus trying to figure out how to approach them, approaching them, and dealing with the possible fallout?

I thought about it some more and I think the possible fallout would be greater just cutting them off. If you approached the neighbours pleasantly, explained that sharing your connection doesn't work for you any more, and come Friday, they'd need to have their own connection, the conversation could go quiet nicely. You don't even need to say it's because of their non-payment. Just that it no longer works for you. If they ask why, it's just, 'Lots of reasons, and it no longer works.' You could even do all that by letter slipped under their door or in their mailbox if you don't want to confront them.

It's entirely possible that they're just watching Youtube videos, but maybe they're using their connection to monitor their elderly mother's call alert system, or they need t transfer money that night to avoid becoming homeless. Far fetched, I realise, but if they just have no connection all of a sudden one night and need to something urgent, then turn up on your doorstep demanding to know why you cut them off without even a warning, the 'fallout' could become very unpleasant.

You do have to live with these neighbours into the future, right? Passive-aggressively just changing the password and expecting them to 'figure it out' seems like it would stir up a lot more fallout than acting in a more straightforward manner.
Then it would have behooved these people not to terminate a verbal agreement by not paying.  They can go to a friends house or a coffee shop to get a connection until they can get service.  The OP is the actual victim in this and I am reading a bit of victim shaming going on.  Should the auto repo man give me notice before he tows my car away so I can make other transportation arrangements when I didn't bother to make payments?  They come in the night and take it away, that's how it works when you don't pay your debts.
Always be polite, even to nasty people. Not because they are nice, but because you are.

Reika

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Re: How to tell neighbors, "You're cut off!"?
« Reply #103 on: Today at 09:03:06 PM »
Update:

We changed the password and the network name yesterday. :) We didn't give any notice to anyone. I figured we would just explain it after the fact if it's brought up. So far no one has brought it up. I know of one person who has probably been out of town for a couple of days (I haven't seen her around) who will ask, I'm sure. I'm just going to say that the arrangement was no longer working for us. We do a lot of heavy computer usage, gaming, and streaming, and need all of our bandwidth available to us. We had been having problems with our speed and it was the result of so much piggybacking. That compounded with the fact that no one was keeping their end of the deal with the payments means that we won't be sharing with anyone anymore, at all. Repeat as necessary.

Yay! Hopefully you won't experience any fallout.

veronaz

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Re: How to tell neighbors, "You're cut off!"?
« Reply #104 on: Today at 09:11:23 PM »
Quote
The OP is the actual victim in this and I am reading a bit of victim shaming going on.  Should the auto repo man give me notice before he tows my car away so I can make other transportation arrangements when I didn't bother to make payments?  They come in the night and take it away, that's how it works when you don't pay your debts.

I agree - I'm seeing some victim shaming and also way too many "you better watch out, you don't want to make them mad" warnings.  ::)

People who get their cars repo'd know darned well they haven't been making payments for a long time.  So is he supposed to wait until they make arrangements for transportation?

As I said before if these people were even half decent they would pay what they owe (even after being cut off).  But don't hold your breath, OP.