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Author Topic: She's two months pregnant and already planning her baby shower - SIL update  (Read 17309 times)

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Ms_Shell

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Re: She's two months pregnant and already planning her baby shower - SIL update
« Reply #105 on: February 02, 2011, 10:27:03 PM »
However you choose to handle this, I'd follow in Roe's footsteps as much as possible.  Roe is a great example of having found ways to stand up to K'nnihave while still staying connected to her nephews.  My guess is that you really want to be connected to this child whether or not you are really connected to SIL.  If so, Roe is the way to go!

Poddity poddity pod!  OP, Roe's epic battle of the 'summer of no' is something of a legend around here.  I have some links to old threads if you'd like me to forward them on to you. 
"I've never been a millionaire, but I just know I'd be darling at it." - Dorothy Parker

Lynda_34

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Re: She's two months pregnant and already planning her baby shower - SIL update
« Reply #106 on: February 03, 2011, 01:59:08 AM »
The loss of a child at any point is painful.  You will get better but you will always miss this one and wonder what could have been.

Your MIL took you aside and made a comment.  She seems wise to her daughter and will probably be the one to step up to the plate.

My daughter is very responsible (not pregnant, is married, just bought a house) I sometimes tell people she is more mature than I could ever hope to be.  Her sister in law has asked my daughter's husband, her brother, for help in paying the rent for last month.  Fortunately my daughter and her husband are close enough to tell her no.  The only reason she asked for money is her mother has stopped giving her any. 

I'm just standing back and watching and this sister has just announced she's pregnant again.  She has a three year old daaughter.  Some people.   

supernova

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Re: She's two months pregnant and already planning her baby shower - SIL update
« Reply #107 on: February 03, 2011, 04:54:17 PM »
I wish I knew who spread the horrible rumor around that having a baby was easy, and entitled you to a whole bunch of free stuff, and meant that you didn't have to work ever again. 

I knew some teenage girls who were obsessed with this idea a decade or so ago (I was friends with the mom of one of the girls) and nothing any of us adults said to those girls ever made a dent in their absolute certainty that the second they got pregnant, the world would be handed to them on a platter, and they could lay back and do nothing but go out for mochas and mani/pedis for the rest of their lives.

I don't know what ever happened to the rest of the girls, but the last time I saw my friend's daughter was at the friend's funeral.  The daughter was 19, never finished school, had two kids and a part-time retail job, and looked utterly exhausted.  19-year-olds shouldn't have worry lines.  :(

rigs32

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Re: She's two months pregnant and already planning her baby shower - SIL update
« Reply #108 on: February 03, 2011, 05:52:37 PM »
Let's say she has the baby.  You think the baby is going without, so you give her things.  What happens?  She learns you'll pick up the slack.  She asks you to babysit and you have plans but feel bad she'll burden an elderly relative instead, so you agree to baby sit.  What happens?  She learns she can manipulate you to do what she wants.

There are other ways to ensure a child's safety if their parent is neglectful.  Put the phone number for Child Protective Services in your phone.  Be ready with contact information for charitable organizations or sales on baby items.  If you choose to do things or buy things for the child, that is your choice.