If you have cut toxic family members out of your life, how do you respond to others when they ask why "so-and-so" isn't at an event?
I have posted about my very toxic parents and sister. I have very limited contact with them. I did tell my parents about this pregnancy, but not the gender nor any other info. I was not told when my sister had her baby (my grandma told me), nor was I invited to her baby shower.
DS will be having a big birthday party for his 5th birthday. It will be at a local jump place, and he is inviting his classmates and a few friends from church. I have already invited my grandparents, and we will be inviting my in-laws.
I have no plans to invited my sister. I'm sure I'll be asked why. I want nothing to do with her, and she is not the kind of person I would want to have influence my children. I am almost sure I am not inviting my parents. I know my kiddos will be running around and won't have one-on-one time with my parents, but I don't want to risk my parents trying to place guilt-trips on DS because he'd rather play with his friends than with them.
1.) When (if?) people ask why sister isn't there, what is the best, un-awkward-est way to respond?
2.) Again, I am not positive I'll invite my parents. Can I use the same phrasing in response to why they aren't there?
3.) If I don't invite my parents and they ask why, how do I respond? They have made no effort to be involved with our lives, and my mom has even said she didnt want to speak with me ever again. However, they also twist everything around so they are the victims and I am the one keeping their grandchildren away from them. Not everyone believes them, but I am tired of being made the bad guy. I know not caring is something I need to work on. But how do I let them know this is the result of their actions? Or is that a hopeless cause?