Cell phones in the bathroom

[DangerMouth]

Initially both stalls were taken.  The smaller stall was vacated first.  However, I would have been trying to help a 3 yo and hold onto a 21 mo old.  The stall was small enough that it would mean not being able to close the door.  I was about to tell DD to go ahead when phone woman came out.  We had probably been waiting 7-8 minutes.

Personally, I disagree that its fine to do whatever you want while in a bathroom stall.  Filing your nails or playing on your phone while you go is fine.  It doesn't impact others at all.  However, talking on the phone does.  I do think it's rude to talk on the phone while others are using the facilities.  I don't have a problem with it when there is no one else using the bathroom though.

How does talking on the phone impact others any more or less than filing your nails or playing with your phone? I'm not getting the distinction you are drawing?

[Twik]

I presume that, when people are in the stalls, that the other activities are not visible. Talking on the phone is something other people can't really get away from if it bothers them. You can't say, "just don't listen," if the sound is booming throughout the room.

[DangerMouth]

I presume that, when people are in the stalls, that the other activities are not visible. Talking on the phone is something other people can't really get away from if it bothers them. You can't say, "just don't listen," if the sound is booming throughout the room.

So, would you also consider it rude for two friends to talk back and forth while in the stalls?

I am actually trying to understand what is rude about this. I personally, don't want people talking to me while I'm taking care of business, nor do I appreciate being on the phone with someone while they are using the toilet. I'm just not getting what is rude about someone else talking out loud to another person while in the bathroom.

[auntmeegs]

Yeah I really don't get it either.  In fact I'd prefer to have the other person distracted by something else so they're paying less attention to what I'm doing.

[TychaBrahe]

Whether or not it's true, hearing someone on the phone makes me feel as if the person on the other end is now part of my bathroom audience.

There's this idea that the people in the bathroom ignore what's going on in the other stalls.  The person on the phone, not being in the bathroom, isn't under this cloak.  My mother frequently asks me what noises she hears around me when I'm on the phone with her.  ("I'm on the bus," or "I'm walking down the street.")  I can imagine if I were in the bathroom that she would be hearing the other person make a variety of noises.  So of course, I imagine that if someone else is talking on the phone, the person they are talking to can hear me.

[Venus193]

I personally don't think there is a single rule about cell phone use in a public restroom except that one should not be tying up a stall others are waiting to use.

Having said that, I think it is rude to call one's boss or client under these conditions.  Beyond that it's on a case by case basis.  My mother would talk from her regular phone from the bathroom and didn't mind if others did so.  It depends on whom you're talking to.

Another compelling reason not to use a cell phone in a bathroom is quite obvious and something I would never risk.

[Shoo]

IMO using a phone in the bathroom is not rude, but using a bathroom stall as a phone booth is.

I completely agree! 

[Sirius]

I don't really care if someone is talking on a cellphone in the bathroom, unless:

(1)  They get nasty about other people's "bathroom sounds," e.g. flushing, water running, whatever.

(2)  They accuse others of eavesdropping on their conversation.  I had this happen when I was in line at the bank once; the woman in front of me was talking on her cellphone, and so I was trying to daydream so I wouldn't listen to her conversation.  At one point she turned to me and snarled (yes, snarled), "Do you mind?  This is a private conversation!" At that point she was called to the teller, who told her she had to hang up or he couldn't do her transaction.  She got all upset about that, but the bank manager backed the teller up.  She ended up stalking out, still talking on her phone, leaving a stream of curse words in her wake. 

(3)  They block access to the toilets or sinks.  They don't have to be in a stall like it's a phone booth, or standing in front of the sink; they can just as easily go out into the hallway (if there is one) or wherever to finish their conversation.

I've heard conversations consisting of *ring* "Hello?  Okay, I'll be home in about an hour.  Love you.  Bye."  Click.  Those don't bother me at all, and in fact I think that phone calls conducted in public should be like this, and the long, involved calls should be done in private.

[SingActDance]

OP, I'm confused. First, you asked if the woman was rude for talking on the phone, then you stated that she was rude for talking on the phone.

Did you consider it rude because she was talking on the phone while in the bathroom, or because you had to wait?

[Danismom]

I thought it was rude to be carrying on a phone conversation while the bathroom was in use and especially rude for tying up the stall for at least 7 minutes while we waited (it wasn't a quick "I'll call you right back") talking on the  phone.  I posted the question to get other perspectives since there have been times that I thought something was fine and others thought it was rude or vice versa.  I waited to post my personal opinion a while to give others a chance to voice their opinions.

For me, I don't mind when friends converse across the stalls.  They are "bathroom participants" in that they are there for the same purpose -- using the facilities.  When someone is on the phone, I feel the need to try to be quiet, perhaps because it was ingrained in me as a child that you don't disturb someone on the phone.  Plus, people who come into the bathroom expect to hear bathroom noises.  I certainly wouldn't want to hear them over the phone and don't want mine broadcast over the phone either.  The person on the other side of the call didn't come into the bathroom to use the facilities.  They are essentially eavesdropping on the bathroom sounds.  It squicks me out.

[SingActDance]

I thought it was rude to be carrying on a phone conversation while the bathroom was in use and especially rude for tying up the stall for at least 7 minutes while we waited (it wasn't a quick "I'll call you right back") talking on the  phone.  I posted the question to get other perspectives since there have been times that I thought something was fine and others thought it was rude or vice versa.  I waited to post my personal opinion a while to give others a chance to voice their opinions.

For me, I don't mind when friends converse across the stalls.  They are "bathroom participants" in that they are there for the same purpose -- using the facilities.  When someone is on the phone, I feel the need to try to be quiet, perhaps because it was ingrained in me as a child that you don't disturb someone on the phone.  Plus, people who come into the bathroom expect to hear bathroom noises.  I certainly wouldn't want to hear them over the phone and don't want mine broadcast over the phone either.  The person on the other side of the call didn't come into the bathroom to use the facilities.  They are essentially eavesdropping on the bathroom sounds.  It squicks me out.

I can understand if you don't like that she was talking on the phone in the bathroom. I personally don't have a problem with it, but I know others might.

As to your having to wait, you really can't make make the call that her phone conversation was holding you up. Without being in there with her (ewww), you don't know that she was just using the stall as a phone booth.

[Judah]

Plus, people who come into the bathroom expect to hear bathroom noises.  I certainly wouldn't want to hear them over the phone and don't want mine broadcast over the phone either.  The person on the other side of the call didn't come into the bathroom to use the facilities.  They are essentially eavesdropping on the bathroom sounds.  It squicks me out.

You might be able to make a case that it's rude to the person on the other end of the phone, but I still don't think that it's rude the other bathroom occupants.

As for being in the stall for 7 minutes, it most likely had nothing to do with being on the phone and just that she needed the bathroom for that long.  Needing to use a toilet for any length of time isn't rude if you're really using it.

[Danismom]

You guys are right that there's no way I could know what she was doing while we waited.  I just know that I didn't hear any bathroom noises coming from her stall during that time. 

I am grateful for the additional perspectives that maybe I'm being sensitive and phone lady was not rude.

[DangerMouth]

You guys are right that there's no way I could know what she was doing while we waited.  I just know that I didn't hear any bathroom noises coming from her stall during that time. 

I am grateful for the additional perspectives that maybe I'm being sensitive and phone lady was not rude.

Well, I do agree if she was chatting instead of taking care of business, she was rude. But we can't know that she wasn't chatting in addition to taking care of business, which (I feel) is rude to the person on the phone, but not to you. IMO, anyway.

[Shoo]

Did you hear the toilet flush?  That would indicate that she was ...  you know.