Assumption About DS and Graduation

[BeagleMommy]

Background:  DS will be graduating from high school this June.  He's always been a kid who has a very small social circle and he doesn't really like being the center of attention.  We had been talking to him about a graduation party and he said he would rather go to New York City and have dinner at Fancy TV Chef's restaurant with us and his grandparents. End background

I was mentioning this to a coworker when another coworker butted in.  She's a very annoying woman who I can only describe as crass.  The conversation went as follows (sorry for the all caps, but this woman is loud):

Me:  Blah, blah, DS for graduation

Annoying Coworker:  WHAT THE EXPLETIVE (yes she said something vulgar in an office setting)!?  HE'LL REGRET NOT HAVING A PARTY!  YOU SHOULD GIVE HIM A PARTY ANYWAY!  THE BEST PART OF GRADUATION IS HAVING A PARTY AND GETTING EXPLETIVE-FACED WITH YOUR FRIENDS!

Me:  That's an interesting assumption.

ACW:  WHAT?!  WHAT DO YOU MEAN!?

Me:  You've never met my DS.  How do you know what he wants and whether he'll regret anything at all?

She stood there stammering for a moment and then walked away from me muttering something about "over fancy people". 

I think I made my point.

[Nurvingiel]

Well said.

And a trip to New York sounds like a great reward!

My parents gave me a really good chef knife as a gift. I still have it.

[rain]

EXCELLENT!!!

DS's grad
YOUR DS
His/your lives
YOUR $$$

your response/her reaction = priceless

[Ms_Shell]

Perfect.  Congratulations on your son's impending graduation, I hope you all have a wonderful time at dinner. 

[Calypso]

But...but....Morimoto-san? Anthony Bourdain? or...?
Don't leave us in suspense!
(sounds like an awesome way to celebrate graduation, BTW)

[Sharnita]

sounds like multiple assumptions to me.  Even if there was a party who is to say that there would be alcohol or that your son would get, as she so charmingly phrased it, _______ faced.

[BeagleMommy]

But...but....Morimoto-san? Anthony Bourdain? or...?
Don't leave us in suspense!
(sounds like an awesome way to celebrate graduation, BTW)

Gordon Ramsey at the London Hotel.  We're also considering Le Cirque.

[Brentwood]

I had a graduation party when I graduated from high school. It was nice. I had a good time. I absolutely would not have regretted forgoing it for some activity I would have liked even better.

[jaxsue]

I had a graduation party; well, not as much a party as an open house. TBH it was blah. That's because it was 90 percent people from my father's church (he was the minister). It was more for my parents than it was me. My idea of a party - even at my present age - is a lot different than my parents' . 

Last year DS#2 graduated HS. He's not the type to want a party, so we didn't. He was fine with that.

[LEMon]

I felt bad for a bit because I didn't host one for the first.  (All the other mommys thought of it, why hadn't I?)  He didn't want one.  He wanted time with his friends.  Same with number two.  So we gave them what they wanted.  Made sense to us.

[violinp]

Yeah, I kinda wanted to go to others' grad parties, but I don't regret what actually happened - a nice quiet family get - together at my grandparents.

I often think in the what - ifs, but that doesn't mean I hate my life as it is now. Wistfulness is not equal to regret.

[Alida]

But...but....Morimoto-san? Anthony Bourdain? or...?
Don't leave us in suspense!
(sounds like an awesome way to celebrate graduation, BTW)

Gordon Ramsey at the London Hotel.  We're also considering Le Cirque.

That sounds like a perfect celebration!

[JoieGirl7]

Seems to me the only assumption she made was that he might regret having a party.  And I don't think that that's a rude enough assumption to use the icy "what an interesting assumption."
 
When she said that the best part of graduation was getting blotto, she was saying more about herself than your son.  Because she didn't say "You're son will regret getting blotto to celebrate graduation.
 
The part of her behavior that I find more rude is her butting into a private conversation, her tone of voice, use of profanity and general argumentativeness while you're telling someone else what your son's plans are.

So, when someone does that, I think a better response is "Excuse us, but we're having a private conversation" and not let them in in the first place.
 
By even addressing what she said, it validates her intrusion.
 
Often, I think it never occurs to us that there are things that other people say that we do not have to acknowledge at all.  I know I have been in that situation more than once and been frustrated with it but smiled and grit my teeth--mainly because I didn't want to have to address what was said.
 
Only more recently has it occurred to me that I can address that it was said and not the content.
 
She should have minded her own business.

[bookworm317]

I'm mere seconds from graduating college(estimated date of grad: Dec 2011), and I'm not really sure I want a grad party. I had one for high school grad and it was kinda boring.

[McCutieBelle]

I ate at that restaurant!

SO good, we were treated like royalty

Also we got a tour of the kitchen

Congrats to your DS on graduation, an exciting time for sure.