Just a little one, there may be more after the weekend...
So, there has still been no contact between my former friend and her husband with either me or anyone else in our social circle and/or church circle. People have included them on a few emails about church or social activities just out of courtesy but they have never replied and haven't been seen around. I have not attempted to contact them at all.
Then all of a sudden, for the past two sundays they have been back at church at the morning family service. I go to a different service but a couple of friends were there. They said former friend and her hubby arrived late, and tried to leave without speaking to anyone. The first week they almost succeeded but a friend who was organising a BBQ for his wife's birthday managed to catch them in the car park to invite them (they said no, as expected really), the second week a friend managed to say hi and how were they etc and have a bit of a chat and she thought they'd mellowed out a bit and seemed more relaxed.
I got to thinking that if they were trying out our church again (and not another one which would have been much easier if they truly wanted to avoid us, there are many in the area), even if they weren't really wanting to be social, that it might be a good sign that they were maybe starting to get things back to normal and not completely cutting everything off. I also thought maybe, if it was me, this has all been going on for several months now and maybe, if she has calmed down, she doesn't know how to approach people again because it's been so long. Also, mutual friends are getting married soon and this couple have rsvpd for the wedding and I don't want it to be too awkward to see them. So I sent just a very brief email to say hi, hoped they were doing ok and they'd had a good easter, that we still thought of them at our church home group (which they used to lead)and that hopefully I'd see them at the wedding. I guess a kind of reach out email that they can respond to if they want but that wasn't really demanding an answer.
I guess I truly believe that there is something going on we don't know about and that they are dealing with stuff which has made them act this way. I still don't believe they are bad people, but at the same time I don't want things to go back to the way they were before because I don't trust them like that now - it would just be nice to be on friendly terms and to know that they are ok.
I didn't get a response for 10 days and wasn't surprised or particularly bothered really. Then yesterday she emailed back with a really chirpy email about how she was so sorry she'd taken so long to reply, they hadn't checked their email. Their easter was great, she's getting really big and i'll get a shock to see her at the wedding, how is everything with me?, she'd see me at the wedding this coming Saturday.
She also did a 'reply all' to an email from another lady about going to an event for a mutual friend who is being made a warden in the church. She said they can't attend as they have birthing class this week but to pass on their congratulations, they didn't know he'd got this job, great news. She said she was aware they hadn't seen us in a long time and would probably see us at the wedding.
So, it sounds like they are attending, which is great, but at the same time she has still been responding as an acquaintance, not the friendly self she used to be so I think I will just see what happens and be friendly if I see them.
Edited for typos.