No way would I be receptive if she reaches out. If I were in the OP's shoes, too much would have happened to go back. I would never trust her and it would never feel the same. That's just me, though. I know others are more forgiving.
I am generally pretty forgiving, but I am right with you on this one.
I do not believe for one minute that there is a reasonable excuse for this kind of behaviour. There just isn't.
To the OP - I am really sorry this is happening to you. This person no longer sounds like a friend and I would leavel well alone. You cannot keep apologising for something you haven't done. If I was in your shoes and she reached out to me at some point, I might be able to have some sort of a relationship with her, but I could never ever trust her as a good friend.
OP here again.
Thank you. It's really interesting that I asked this same question on a faith-based forum and all the repsonses I got said basically that she's pregnant, she has hormones and new priorities and I should just accept and be understanding that that we won't remain friends because she must now focus on her family and I am expecting too much of her and should find other single people to be friends with!
While I do accept her new status and priorities - and if it's hormones I am willing to think a little more kindly and cut her some slack but still keep out of the way because the ball is in her court - I don't think pregnancy is an acceptable excuse to just dump people who care about you and who have always been there for you.. I have had other friends have kids and of course things change, especially in terms of face time, but they never cut me out and never behaved like this so I will not excuse her that way. They usually tell families and a couple of best friends a little earlier than everyone else and want to talk stuff over or get excited etc or for support in case it goes wrong etc. Sometimes I have been in on the secret, sometimes I haven't, it's totally depended on how close we were and that was totally understandable.
With this friend, she instigated the friendship, she has always confided in me, and offered up all sorts of personal info without me asking and actually told me how special I am to her, how much she and her hubby appreciate me, how she hoped we'd be friends when we were 80, and I know for a fact we spoke the most out of any of our friends; all the things that would make you believe you had an intimate friendship with someone. I have always been there for her and have kept some very big secrets for her which I have never even hinted at to anyone and she has always thanked me for that. But the very fact that in her strange email she said "you have absolutely no right to know before anyone else" shows she no longer thinks of me as a best friend, or in fact as any different from other people at church or amongst our friends there.
That is how I will now treat her. She is an acquaintance who I care for but do not trust very much. I will be polite and I will speak to her if she speaks to me etc, but I will not keep asking what's wrong or make any more apologies. I can't, because I don't need the humiliation mainly! I have asked if I did anything wrong and I have apologised to her for anything I might have done to upset her, made it known I care about her and asked her to let me know how I can help. If she doesn't wish to work with that then there is no point me asking again.
If she or her husband ever come to me with any reasons then I will listen and take it from there but I don't think I could ever feel the same way towards them. We may be able to be friends again but I would always be guarded with them.
If they make the cut permanent then I don't think there is anything I could have done differently and that will be their choice, for whatever reasons they have. I have been the best friend I knew how to be with her and I couldn't have done anything else. I can no longer affect the outcome and that makes me feel much more peaceful about it all.