Thanks so much for all your responses, they are really helpful.
As it stands at the moment baby was born 5am Tuesday. Our home group from church (which baby couple dropped off from months ago) were emailed by baby friend on Wednesday morning to say baby had been born and to ask for prayer as she was a little poorly with her lungs. This was 5 people out of our wider circle of about 20. I think it was positive they wanted to reach out I guess, but also a bit confusing they chose us after everything. I then got a text from from baby friend later that day saying the baby was doing much better, and then our little group got another email again that night saying they hoped to go home the following day but needed to be checked again. I replied to the original email with a 'congratulations, lovely name, hoped she was better asap' etc, I replied to the text with 'that's great news, I will let the group know' and didn't reply to the third email as I saw other people had already.
They don't seem to have contacted anyone else.
Word has spread slowly amongst the wider social circle because someone texted ex-friend on Thursday thinking she might be on maternity leave now just perhaps maybe it would be worth seeing if they could meet for coffee. She got a reply saying thanks but actually baby was born Tues so that wouldn't be possible. This lady then enquired amongst other friends if people knew about the birth and that's how it's got around. I didn't tell other people, apart from the person who'd planned on organising the party for them before the birth (who then suggested we get together a meal rota to drop round food) because I figured it wasn't my news to tell. I told meal rota friend I couldn't help out. I also decided not to send a card or present but simply sign a joint one from our home group instead.
Another friend also had the same idea about dropping meals round and contacted the husband to ask when they would like stuff. She then sent out an email to our whole social circle asking for volunteers for freezable meals and baked goods and treats. Baby couple have said family will be staying for a few weeks but that they would welcome things after that. I have ignored the email. I can see two people have replied so I feel ok about that. One other person did email me to say they didn't feel comfortable doing that for them, given their past behaviour and was I going to because they didn't want to be the only one who said no, so it's not just me that finds it a bit weird.
It's now Friday and no one has heard anything else. No photo on facebook, nothing to say they have gone home or that baby's health is fine now. I get that they have a new baby, it's overwhelming, they are extemely busy and tired, but after telling us she was poorly and asking us to pray for her I kind of think an update would be polite. Ah well.