Etiquette School is in session! > The Ehell Guide to Never Behaving Badly

Funerals and Mourning

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kareng57:

--- Quote from: MrTango on March 21, 2013, 11:24:35 AM ---
--- Quote from: katycoo on March 19, 2013, 10:48:35 PM ---
--- Quote from: Reader on March 17, 2011, 12:54:52 PM ---Please do not attend the funeral if you do not have a good history with the bereaved at all.
--- End quote ---

I feel that this should be revised.  If I was very close to the deceased, but had a poor history with the bereaved, I would certainly attend.  I would, however limit my interactions with the bereaved.

--- End quote ---

Agreed.  I once attended the funeral of someone I absolutely despised.  I just needed to know that he was really dead.

I arrived just before the service started, sat in the back row of the church, and as soon as the service ended, I walked out to my car and left without speaking with anyone.

--- End quote ---


Very inappropriate, IMO.  That's not what funerals/memorial services are for.

katycoo:

--- Quote from: kareng57 on March 23, 2013, 12:03:08 AM ---
--- Quote from: MrTango on March 21, 2013, 11:24:35 AM ---
--- Quote from: katycoo on March 19, 2013, 10:48:35 PM ---
--- Quote from: Reader on March 17, 2011, 12:54:52 PM ---Please do not attend the funeral if you do not have a good history with the bereaved at all.
--- End quote ---

I feel that this should be revised.  If I was very close to the deceased, but had a poor history with the bereaved, I would certainly attend.  I would, however limit my interactions with the bereaved.

--- End quote ---

Agreed.  I once attended the funeral of someone I absolutely despised.  I just needed to know that he was really dead.

I arrived just before the service started, sat in the back row of the church, and as soon as the service ended, I walked out to my car and left without speaking with anyone.

--- End quote ---


Very inappropriate, IMO.  That's not what funerals/memorial services are for.

--- End quote ---

Yes...MrTango's post wasn't what I had in mind.

Tea Drinker:

--- Quote from: kareng57 on March 23, 2013, 12:03:08 AM ---
--- Quote from: MrTango on March 21, 2013, 11:24:35 AM ---
--- Quote from: katycoo on March 19, 2013, 10:48:35 PM ---
--- Quote from: Reader on March 17, 2011, 12:54:52 PM ---Please do not attend the funeral if you do not have a good history with the bereaved at all.
--- End quote ---

I feel that this should be revised.  If I was very close to the deceased, but had a poor history with the bereaved, I would certainly attend.  I would, however limit my interactions with the bereaved.

--- End quote ---

Agreed.  I once attended the funeral of someone I absolutely despised.  I just needed to know that he was really dead.

I arrived just before the service started, sat in the back row of the church, and as soon as the service ended, I walked out to my car and left without speaking with anyone.

--- End quote ---


Very inappropriate, IMO.  That's not what funerals/memorial services are for.

--- End quote ---

I'd say that's inappropriate only if the mourners will be aware of the other attendee's motivations. If, say, the deceased and the person who despised them had worked together, but kept their disagreements private, it would be okay, because the family would think either "who's that?" or "oh, right, one of his co-workers." That would also apply if the deceased was a local/community leader (say, a teacher or religious leader) who had mistreated someone, and the person who never talked about their grievance publicly, because again, sitting quietly in back isn't making a fuss.

scotcat60:
Make sure you attend the right funeral. I once slipped into a back pew at a crematorium, thinking it was a friend's service, and it wasn't. I got out fast, but it's probably gone down in that family's history, "Who was that strange woman at Grandad's funeral? She left, and we never saw her again"

FoxPaws:
- Refrain from posting condolences on others' social media sites unless the page owner has acknowledged the death first. They may not have been able to inform everyone they wanted to tell in person yet and you could cause problems by posting, "So sorry to hear about Aunt Lily," when not everyone in their world knows Aunt Lily has died. When in doubt, use private/direct messaging.

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