I hope we can have some fun with this.
When I was about 8 years old, we were taught how to write TYNs. It was a formulaic thing. Here's how it went:
Salutation [Dear so-and-so]
A sentence thanking the person who gave the gift.
A sentence or two saying why you liked the gift.
Another sentence or two wishing happiness and health to the person who gave the gift.
A closing [usually 'love', 'best wishes' or 'Your friend'] and the child''s signature.
That sounds great but sometimes the gifts weren't easy to acknowledge.
Here's a TYN a child following this template would write:
"Dear Aunt Xenia,
Thank you so much for the hat and mitten set. I know it must have taken you a long time to make it.
It's warm and comfy. I'll wear it a lot and, every time I wear it, I'll think of you.
Best wishes for a happy and healthy New Year.
Here is what the child actually wanted to write:
Thanks for the hat and mittens. I didn't enjoy them but I will certainly think about every time they are used. When I put them on they felt like they were made from steel wool with a little bit of yarn from an old horse blanket tossed in for some color.
While I'm writing this TYN, Mom is in the kitchen using one of your mittens to scrub out a lasagne pan. That's about all they're good for.
I know you'll be happy in healthy in the New Year because of all the money you saved.
Your sworn enemy forever,