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  • May 01, 2016, 02:30:22 PM

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Author Topic: S/O Dear Dog...Dear Cat  (Read 329762 times)

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Shishimai

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Re: S/O Dear Dog...Dear Cat
« Reply #2625 on: April 22, 2016, 12:09:22 PM »
Dear Cat:
You do not like cucumbers. We've established this. Why do you insist on nigh climbing my leg when I am slicing cucumbers?
-Mgmt

Chipmunky

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Re: S/O Dear Dog...Dear Cat
« Reply #2626 on: April 25, 2016, 07:59:25 AM »
Dear Mopsy,

Thank you for pestering me this morning- normally you are a brat, but last night I forgot to reset the alarm, so you made me get up right on time.

That said, I am now on to you.

You know perfectly well that when you eat your food too fast, and eat too much of it, in the mornings, you will puke a bit. You also know that we don't mind cleaning up after you, but would prefer you stay on the tile as opposed to walking over to the carpet.

I noticed this morning, when you started making hurl noises and I managed to get you onto the tile immediately, you stopped with the noises, and did not puke the entire rest of the time I was home before work.

I'm asking your Daddy to check for pukage around the house this morning. If he finds nothing, I will begin to suspect you've learned to puke as a trick for attention.  That will not get you good attention, my dear.

Slow down on your dining!

Love,

Hoomin mama, provider of fuds.

atirial

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Re: S/O Dear Dog...Dear Cat
« Reply #2627 on: April 25, 2016, 01:55:38 PM »
Dear Stephen,

You are a cat, not a mouse. Why the sudden thing for cheese? The first time you came up and sniffed a bit and then nibbled it, I thought it was a one-off, considering the mess that followed.

Then today I was quietly having my lunch when a furry face pushed into mine and suddenly the cheese was no longer in my sandwich. You got so close I got cat lick on my nose you little monster! This was followed by the hasty trotting retreat under the bed and ravenous devouring of cheese - at least I think you devoured it since the noises were decidedly disturbing and we're still finding bits scattered around the room.

Please stop. It is not good for you, and cleaning up the mess once it makes you sick is not fun.

Regards,
Mum

ladyknight1

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Re: S/O Dear Dog...Dear Cat
« Reply #2628 on: April 25, 2016, 05:28:10 PM »
All of the cats I've ever had have loved cheese. Most have loved salt as well.
ďAll that is gold does not glitter, Not all those who wander are lost; The old that is strong does not wither, Deep roots are not reached by the frost."
-J.R.R Tolkien

greencat

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Re: S/O Dear Dog...Dear Cat
« Reply #2629 on: April 25, 2016, 05:35:32 PM »
My cats all seem to love blueberries.

Liliane

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Re: S/O Dear Dog...Dear Cat
« Reply #2630 on: April 25, 2016, 05:40:48 PM »
My Maine Coon eats vegetables.
"The wild roses have died, Father, and I know not what to do."


PastryGoddess

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Re: S/O Dear Dog...Dear Cat
« Reply #2631 on: April 25, 2016, 05:58:52 PM »
My Gretchen loves cheese.  The vet says it's fine in moderation. 
Maryland

Nikko-chan

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Re: S/O Dear Dog...Dear Cat
« Reply #2632 on: April 25, 2016, 06:18:56 PM »
Dear Ciaran,

You cuddled with me. On your own. You jumped up and cuddled with me. For an hour.

Suspiciously yours,

The giver of the noms

Hey ehellions is my cat plotting to murder me in my sleep?

Sirius

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Re: S/O Dear Dog...Dear Cat
« Reply #2633 on: April 25, 2016, 09:30:04 PM »
Dear Daisy,

I love you.  I really do.  But why was it necessary to leap into my lap for snuggles when I was trying to sew?

Love, your human seamstress.

Julian

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Re: S/O Dear Dog...Dear Cat
« Reply #2634 on: April 26, 2016, 01:01:36 AM »
Dear Salem

You're quite the character, aren't you?

It seems you've worked out the routine when one of the dogs is on medication.  I start to get the tablet, cut it, roll it in a piece of nummy hammy goodness, and give it to the dog that needs it, and a bit of ham to each of the other dogs, because as soon as I go to that part of the kitchen bench I have a line-up of dogs waiting for noms.  Note I say dogs.  I noticed this last round of tablets that there was an extra little mouth to feed twice each day, attached to a little black cat with a big attitude.  Very clever, little miss!

Not so clever were your antics the other night when we hoomans had steak.  Twice I cut you a little bit and left it on the arm of the chair (because you were up on the arm trying to steal the whole steak off my plate  >:( ), twice you batted it off to the floor and one of the dogs snaffled it.  What, not enough salt?  You wanted extra mushroom sauce??  Gravy???

The other thing that we need to discuss is lap sharing.  If you want lap, you need to share.  It won't be with Mr 'I am not a lap cat' Morty, and it will be with a dog.  If said dog is lying quietly, belly up, it isn't very polite or sporting of you to wriggle out of your normal cat-curl and into Stretch McStretchyCat with a bad tic in the hind legs, kicking the dog repeatedly in the belly.  Poor Suzi was wondering why she was being beaten up by you.  I'm totally not surprised she turned her back on you after that, but I am surprised she didn't issue a bit of small dog justice before she did so...  You're lucky you've still got all four paws.

Love always

Chief fud lady and kitty warmer

atirial

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Re: S/O Dear Dog...Dear Cat
« Reply #2635 on: April 26, 2016, 03:40:28 AM »
My Gretchen loves cheese.  The vet says it's fine in moderation. 
Believe me, moderation is not a word this cat knows. From here on, we'll have to try to limit his intake, much to his disgust.

All of the cats I've ever had have loved cheese. Most have loved salt as well.
For the sake of decency I omitted Stephen's ongoing love affair with salted bacon...which also makes him sick.

ladyknight1

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Re: S/O Dear Dog...Dear Cat
« Reply #2636 on: April 26, 2016, 06:47:48 AM »
^Sorry!

Dear kitties,

I appreciate your due diligence in promptly refurring my clean clothes, but stop with the jumping. Oh and you are getting claw trims Saturday.

Love,

Mom
ďAll that is gold does not glitter, Not all those who wander are lost; The old that is strong does not wither, Deep roots are not reached by the frost."
-J.R.R Tolkien

Outdoor Girl

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Re: S/O Dear Dog...Dear Cat
« Reply #2637 on: April 26, 2016, 07:43:02 AM »
Dear Peggy and Sassy:

Yes, I know the house is upside over and upsetting you both greatly.  It will all be over soon.  Though you are going to have to get used to some new digs.

You'll get a chance to explore a limited space, all on your own, Thursday night.  We're going to drop you at the new house so you are out of the chaos of the movers and won't get a chance to escape.

I hope you like the new place!

Your very stressed owner who appreciates Peggy's snuggles and purrs greatly, not so much Sassy's hissing and swatting.
After cleaning out my Dad's house, I have this advice:  If you haven't used it in a year, throw it out!!!!.
Ontario