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Author Topic: Special Snowflakes Redux - play nice!  (Read 100281 times)

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Chipmunky

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Re: Special Snowflakes Redux - play nice!
« Reply #735 on: Yesterday at 08:07:32 AM »
DH is being a bit of a snowflake this morning...

I left for work at 7:20. DH was awake at 10 till. DD was still asleep, DH has to be at work at 8:30. When I left, DH was hopping through the shower. DD's daycare bag was ready to go, a fresh diaper and clothes laid out on the changer for her. All he had to do after cleaning himself up was throw her in her new outfit and take her in (they do breakfast at daycare).

DH didn't show up on the nanny cam dropping DD off until 8:28. He then called me complaining that there were so many people in the parking lot, parked and/or standing around, that he had trouble a) getting parking and b) getting out of the lot due to people chatting, and how now he'd be late for work (he works 5 minutes away).

While I'd say the folks standing around chatting were being snowflakey, I did have to point out to him that 7:30 to 8:30 am is a high volume drop off time, which he knows perfectly well. Tomorrow morning, he'd just have to be up earlier/have DD up earlier to get in and out and to work on time.  He started grumbling about getting the baby ready to go being "harder than it looked." I've gotten her ready to go myself and dropped her off early when necessary, and made it to work on time, and I have a longer commute- I'm not too heavy on the sympathy right now, especially when he could have gotten up even earlier, with me, had his breakfast, done his morning routine, and could have been getting DD up, fed, and ready by the time I headed out...instead he chose to sleep in more.

He has subsequently texted me that his supervisor was entering the building a few steps behind him, so he's not in trouble for being a few minutes late. We will see how he does tomorrow.

miranova

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Re: Special Snowflakes Redux - play nice!
« Reply #736 on: Yesterday at 11:48:02 AM »

My mom is being forced to weld rebar on the bottom of her fences in the front yard, because kids are crawling underneath the fence to cut across to the elementary school.  She sat in her car one day and watched four groups of kids do this in the space of an hour!


Also, mom needs to call the school and let them know what is going on, post no trespassing signs on the fence. Contact the police dept, as well, and let them know this is going on. There will be at least one parent that will say "Well, they didn't know any better." 

If one of them gets hurt on her property, she can be held liable. One has to cover ones own behind.

DH and I did that when the walkway adjacent to our house was gated off due to it needing to be fixed (the pedestrians started hopping the fence which runs along our front yard since the gate was a lot taller and harder to scale).  We had success calling the school the first few times when we saw it was always a bunch of kids on the weekday mornings and afternoons but, after about a week or so of that, we were told they weren't responsible.  We tried calling the sheriff, also, but had no luck.  We knew we'd be held liable in one of them got hurt on our property but really couldn't do anything to stop them.  A few times, someone (not one of the kids, I suspect) used something to cut through the lock and chain on the gate.  DH reported it a few times.  I finally asked him to stop because 1) he got yelled at by the dispatcher for bothering them on the non-emergency line and 2) with the gate open, the pedestrians would stop scaling the fence and trespassing on our yard.  I certainly didn't care if someone cut off the lock if the sheriff's office and DoT weren't going to do anything about it (it took them about a year before they finally fixed the walkway that was blocked off).

To be fair, the school is not responsible for this.  They can not possibly be expected to supervise every child's walk to school and make sure they aren't trespassing into anyone's yards along the way.  They actually wouldn't have any authority to do anything about this. 

I would stick with the sign and/or lock.  I really think the chances of someone winning a lawsuit after trespassing and getting hurt are slim to none, but just in case of the slim, that's why I have an umbrella liability policy in addition to my homeowner's insurance.  I'm not going to live my life in fear of a lawsuit when I've done everything I can on my end.  But that's just me.

MrTango

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Re: Special Snowflakes Redux - play nice!
« Reply #737 on: Yesterday at 12:25:18 PM »
To be fair, the school is not responsible for this.  They can not possibly be expected to supervise every child's walk to school and make sure they aren't trespassing into anyone's yards along the way.  They actually wouldn't have any authority to do anything about this. 

Yep.  Off school property and not on school time?  School has no authority.


VorFemme

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Re: Special Snowflakes Redux - play nice!
« Reply #738 on: Yesterday at 04:32:30 PM »

My mom is being forced to weld rebar on the bottom of her fences in the front yard, because kids are crawling underneath the fence to cut across to the elementary school.  She sat in her car one day and watched four groups of kids do this in the space of an hour!


Also, mom needs to call the school and let them know what is going on, post no trespassing signs on the fence. Contact the police dept, as well, and let them know this is going on. There will be at least one parent that will say "Well, they didn't know any better." 

If one of them gets hurt on her property, she can be held liable. One has to cover ones own behind.

DH and I did that when the walkway adjacent to our house was gated off due to it needing to be fixed (the pedestrians started hopping the fence which runs along our front yard since the gate was a lot taller and harder to scale).  We had success calling the school the first few times when we saw it was always a bunch of kids on the weekday mornings and afternoons but, after about a week or so of that, we were told they weren't responsible.  We tried calling the sheriff, also, but had no luck.  We knew we'd be held liable in one of them got hurt on our property but really couldn't do anything to stop them.  A few times, someone (not one of the kids, I suspect) used something to cut through the lock and chain on the gate.  DH reported it a few times.  I finally asked him to stop because 1) he got yelled at by the dispatcher for bothering them on the non-emergency line and 2) with the gate open, the pedestrians would stop scaling the fence and trespassing on our yard.  I certainly didn't care if someone cut off the lock if the sheriff's office and DoT weren't going to do anything about it (it took them about a year before they finally fixed the walkway that was blocked off).

Each area varies. I'd still go with the sign and the call. Calls are recorded, so take down date and time, even if they say nothing can be done. If it comes out that you get a "You should have called the police," you can respond by saying, "I did, on this day at X time, and was told, xyz."

 Maybe start calling the kids out, when she sees them, "You're not invited, stay off my property." Install security cams. All it takes is one SSF parent to think their child can do what ever said child wants, despite what said child is doing.

She has tried calling the kids out.  They look confused, like "why can't I do this?" and the excuse is "but my friends are over there". 

She grew huge spiny climbing roses over that fence for years, until the fence fell down and the roses died.  Then she pulled everything out and put in a nice new wrought iron fence.  Now she's on the lookout for new spiny evil bushes to put in front of the fence, in addition to the rebar.  I believe she's considering pyracantha bushes, which would definitely put a stop to anyone trying to get through!

Prickly Pear cactus - the fruits make a wonderfully tasty and exotic jelly, if she likes making jelly...

Unless the climate seriously disagrees with cactus...
Let sleeping dragons be.......morning breath......need I explain?

Tea Drinker

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Re: Special Snowflakes Redux - play nice!
« Reply #739 on: Yesterday at 05:25:43 PM »

My mom is being forced to weld rebar on the bottom of her fences in the front yard, because kids are crawling underneath the fence to cut across to the elementary school.  She sat in her car one day and watched four groups of kids do this in the space of an hour!


Also, mom needs to call the school and let them know what is going on, post no trespassing signs on the fence. Contact the police dept, as well, and let them know this is going on. There will be at least one parent that will say "Well, they didn't know any better." 

If one of them gets hurt on her property, she can be held liable. One has to cover ones own behind.

DH and I did that when the walkway adjacent to our house was gated off due to it needing to be fixed (the pedestrians started hopping the fence which runs along our front yard since the gate was a lot taller and harder to scale).  We had success calling the school the first few times when we saw it was always a bunch of kids on the weekday mornings and afternoons but, after about a week or so of that, we were told they weren't responsible.  We tried calling the sheriff, also, but had no luck.  We knew we'd be held liable in one of them got hurt on our property but really couldn't do anything to stop them.  A few times, someone (not one of the kids, I suspect) used something to cut through the lock and chain on the gate.  DH reported it a few times.  I finally asked him to stop because 1) he got yelled at by the dispatcher for bothering them on the non-emergency line and 2) with the gate open, the pedestrians would stop scaling the fence and trespassing on our yard.  I certainly didn't care if someone cut off the lock if the sheriff's office and DoT weren't going to do anything about it (it took them about a year before they finally fixed the walkway that was blocked off).

Each area varies. I'd still go with the sign and the call. Calls are recorded, so take down date and time, even if they say nothing can be done. If it comes out that you get a "You should have called the police," you can respond by saying, "I did, on this day at X time, and was told, xyz."

 Maybe start calling the kids out, when she sees them, "You're not invited, stay off my property." Install security cams. All it takes is one SSF parent to think their child can do what ever said child wants, despite what said child is doing.

She has tried calling the kids out.  They look confused, like "why can't I do this?" and the excuse is "but my friends are over there". 

She grew huge spiny climbing roses over that fence for years, until the fence fell down and the roses died.  Then she pulled everything out and put in a nice new wrought iron fence.  Now she's on the lookout for new spiny evil bushes to put in front of the fence, in addition to the rebar.  I believe she's considering pyracantha bushes, which would definitely put a stop to anyone trying to get through!

Prickly Pear cactus - the fruits make a wonderfully tasty and exotic jelly, if she likes making jelly...

Unless the climate seriously disagrees with cactus...

Check on your kind of cactus, though. There's one cactus, Opuntia, that's suitable to the climate of most of North America—I have one in my front yard in Boston, and I knew someone who grew them outdoors in Alberta. They're also a bad choice here: not only do they grow low to the ground, but the Opuntia available in most garden centers is a thornless variant developed by Luther Burbank. (It's not literally thornless, but close enough that any thorns wouldn't be a deterrent.)

That said, if you want a hardy plant with pretty yellow flowers, you could do a lot worse: it doesn't need a lot of water, but it can tolerate quite a bit of rain.

Shrubbery and/or fencing is probably the way to go for this, though; if you plant non-woody plants like thistles or opuntia, do it for the pretty flowers, in the confidence that they're less likely to take over your yard than roses or blackberries.
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iridaceae

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Re: Special Snowflakes Redux - play nice!
« Reply #740 on: Yesterday at 05:35:22 PM »
Prickly pears are opuntias.
Nothing to see here.

Harriet Jones

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Re: Special Snowflakes Redux - play nice!
« Reply #741 on: Yesterday at 05:40:00 PM »
I think I've recommended it before - the barberry bush.  There were some of those in front of our previous house, they were very pretty and very thorny!

FauxFoodist

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Re: Special Snowflakes Redux - play nice!
« Reply #742 on: Yesterday at 05:52:39 PM »

My mom is being forced to weld rebar on the bottom of her fences in the front yard, because kids are crawling underneath the fence to cut across to the elementary school.  She sat in her car one day and watched four groups of kids do this in the space of an hour!


Also, mom needs to call the school and let them know what is going on, post no trespassing signs on the fence. Contact the police dept, as well, and let them know this is going on. There will be at least one parent that will say "Well, they didn't know any better." 

If one of them gets hurt on her property, she can be held liable. One has to cover ones own behind.

DH and I did that when the walkway adjacent to our house was gated off due to it needing to be fixed (the pedestrians started hopping the fence which runs along our front yard since the gate was a lot taller and harder to scale).  We had success calling the school the first few times when we saw it was always a bunch of kids on the weekday mornings and afternoons but, after about a week or so of that, we were told they weren't responsible.  We tried calling the sheriff, also, but had no luck.  We knew we'd be held liable in one of them got hurt on our property but really couldn't do anything to stop them.  A few times, someone (not one of the kids, I suspect) used something to cut through the lock and chain on the gate.  DH reported it a few times.  I finally asked him to stop because 1) he got yelled at by the dispatcher for bothering them on the non-emergency line and 2) with the gate open, the pedestrians would stop scaling the fence and trespassing on our yard.  I certainly didn't care if someone cut off the lock if the sheriff's office and DoT weren't going to do anything about it (it took them about a year before they finally fixed the walkway that was blocked off).

To be fair, the school is not responsible for this.  They can not possibly be expected to supervise every child's walk to school and make sure they aren't trespassing into anyone's yards along the way.  They actually wouldn't have any authority to do anything about this.

That is true.  I didn't think to mention in my earlier post that we chose to call the school because 1) we knew they were kids going to/leave from school and 2) the walkway was blocked off because it was no longer safe to use and since we didn't know any of these kids, we found calling the school might be best so they could give the parents a heads-up.  I think we called the sheriff's office first.  For the school, it was less about the trespassing on our property and more about the safety of the kids.  However, they found they couldn't supervise that any longer if the kids refused to listen as the kids weren't on school property.  I know when I was a kid, we'd sometimes get notices regarding possible threats that didn't happen on school grounds (such as suspicious individuals selling kids cartoon stamps that were laced with drugs).

ETA -- Just remembered something.  I work for a public university hospital surrounded by a residential neighborhood.  Although the university has *zero* jurisdiction over employees (and patients and visitors) once they are off hospital grounds, we still have and do receive notifications/reminders to be considerate of the residents adjacent to the hospital.  They have no authority either, but I never considered it unrealistic or unreasonable to ask the employees to be mindful of the residents nearby (there's really nothing they can do about patients and visitors).  A few years ago, a few exits/entrances were closed off that led onto the residential streets (just where they could without totally impeding traffic to/from the hospital); this was after residents complained enough about the traffic for it to become a concern of the university's.  I think if DH and I weren't the only homeowners being affected by the trespassing and others started calling the sheriff and the school, more/faster action might've been taken (I did think it was a bit much for the walkway to be officially shut down for over a year as many kids use it to walk over the freeway to get to/from school; we're not in the best area and the kids would've been coming from an even worse area so I figure it wasn't a high priority).
« Last Edit: Yesterday at 11:06:28 PM by FauxFoodist »

FauxFoodist

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Re: Special Snowflakes Redux - play nice!
« Reply #743 on: Yesterday at 05:57:13 PM »
DH is being a bit of a snowflake this morning...

I left for work at 7:20. DH was awake at 10 till. DD was still asleep, DH has to be at work at 8:30. When I left, DH was hopping through the shower. DD's daycare bag was ready to go, a fresh diaper and clothes laid out on the changer for her. All he had to do after cleaning himself up was throw her in her new outfit and take her in (they do breakfast at daycare).

DH didn't show up on the nanny cam dropping DD off until 8:28. He then called me complaining that there were so many people in the parking lot, parked and/or standing around, that he had trouble a) getting parking and b) getting out of the lot due to people chatting, and how now he'd be late for work (he works 5 minutes away).

While I'd say the folks standing around chatting were being snowflakey, I did have to point out to him that 7:30 to 8:30 am is a high volume drop off time, which he knows perfectly well. Tomorrow morning, he'd just have to be up earlier/have DD up earlier to get in and out and to work on time.  He started grumbling about getting the baby ready to go being "harder than it looked." I've gotten her ready to go myself and dropped her off early when necessary, and made it to work on time, and I have a longer commute- I'm not too heavy on the sympathy right now, especially when he could have gotten up even earlier, with me, had his breakfast, done his morning routine, and could have been getting DD up, fed, and ready by the time I headed out...instead he chose to sleep in more.

He has subsequently texted me that his supervisor was entering the building a few steps behind him, so he's not in trouble for being a few minutes late. We will see how he does tomorrow.

I'd have no sympathy for him, either.  As the other parent, I'd feel like saying, "If I can do it, you can do it and if you find it's harder than you thought it would be, then you should probably take care of her more often so that it gets easier for you."  However, I realize that would likely be counterproductive to say that.

Asharah

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Re: Special Snowflakes Redux - play nice!
« Reply #744 on: Yesterday at 06:27:50 PM »
To be fair, the school is not responsible for this.  They can not possibly be expected to supervise every child's walk to school and make sure they aren't trespassing into anyone's yards along the way.  They actually wouldn't have any authority to do anything about this. 

Yep.  Off school property and not on school time?  School has no authority.
Well, way back when I was in school, I'm pretty sure we got lectured about such things as not trespassing on other people's property or not taking what wasn't ours. But maybe the message made more of an impression on me because it was being delivered by nuns.  :D
Asharah