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  • August 30, 2016, 02:08:32 PM

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Author Topic: Strangeness at a mens store? (switcheroo/alterations-not altered) update 13, 15  (Read 2010 times)

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snappylt

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Re: Strangeness at a mens store? (switcheroo/alterations-not altered)
« Reply #15 on: August 26, 2016, 08:43:38 PM »
Here's another way to think about it.

By not saying anything, and by being OK w/ substandard service, you denied the management of that store a chance to leave you with a POSITIVE impression.

Toots,

You posted your reply #12 while I was typing my reply #13.

You are doing exactly what I asked you to do when you offer an explanation of what may have happened, so I do thank you for those insights.

Your posts come across to me as if you are victim-blaming me, though.  I realize you did not realize that I was in pain both days at the store because I did not include that in my original post.

But I did clearly explain in the OP that I was getting a suit in a hurry for a memorial service after a death in our extended family. Death in the family = unsetledness and grief. Clearly I was not at my best.

Come on, are you being reasonable in the tone of your replies? Would you please reconsider your posts?

   Snappy

Hmmmmm

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Re: Strangeness at a mens store? (switcheroo/alterations-not altered)
« Reply #16 on: August 27, 2016, 09:33:58 AM »
Here's another way to think about it.

By not saying anything, and by being OK w/ substandard service, you denied the management of that store a chance to leave you with a POSITIVE impression.

Toots,

You posted your reply #12 while I was typing my reply #13.

You are doing exactly what I asked you to do when you offer an explanation of what may have happened, so I do thank you for those insights.

Your posts come across to me as if you are victim-blaming me, though.  I realize you did not realize that I was in pain both days at the store because I did not include that in my original post.

But I did clearly explain in the OP that I was getting a suit in a hurry for a memorial service after a death in our extended family. Death in the family = unsetledness and grief. Clearly I was not at my best.

Come on, are you being reasonable in the tone of your replies? Would you please reconsider your posts?

   Snappy

Maybe your still feeling unsettled because I don't see anything wrong with Toot's post. In consumer rights advocacy, we often come across people who indicate they didn't say anything at the time because they didn't want to be a complaining customer or that it just felt like to much hassle to have the issue addressed at the time. We always advise those people that stores, restaurants, and service providers would much rather you speak up as soon as an issue arises. Not accept the less than satisfactory item or issue and then be disappointed and not a repeat customer.

I also lost a relative last week... an aunt who has filled the mother, grandmother role in my life and my kids lives after my mom passed away 25 years ago. So I completely sympathize with you on the unsettled feeling when dealing with the vacuum a loss like that leaves. And oddly enough I'm dealing with severe plantar fasciitis at the moment. But even with those issues I still think the first thing that would have popped out of my mouth when I saw the suit was "I don't think this is the one I reserved last time" especially if I'd gotten confirmation from my son who thought the same thing.

I don't really see you as a "victim". Without more information there is no evidence that they tried to pull a switcheroo on you or swindle you in anyway. At this point, all we know is a mistake was made either by the store not labeling the selected suit correctly or by you who was in morning and in pain.

I'm sorry if my post is coming across as harsh to you as well. I'll admit that my first thought when reading your OP was "What do you mean you only had a week to plan for the memorial service? You've known the relative was in poor health for a while."

AngelicGamer

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Re: Strangeness at a mens store? (switcheroo/alterations-not altered)
« Reply #17 on: August 27, 2016, 01:49:32 PM »
Here's another way to think about it.

By not saying anything, and by being OK w/ substandard service, you denied the management of that store a chance to leave you with a POSITIVE impression.

Toots,

You posted your reply #12 while I was typing my reply #13.

You are doing exactly what I asked you to do when you offer an explanation of what may have happened, so I do thank you for those insights.

Your posts come across to me as if you are victim-blaming me, though.  I realize you did not realize that I was in pain both days at the store because I did not include that in my original post.

But I did clearly explain in the OP that I was getting a suit in a hurry for a memorial service after a death in our extended family. Death in the family = unsetledness and grief. Clearly I was not at my best.

Come on, are you being reasonable in the tone of your replies? Would you please reconsider your posts?

   Snappy

Maybe your still feeling unsettled because I don't see anything wrong with Toot's post. In consumer rights advocacy, we often come across people who indicate they didn't say anything at the time because they didn't want to be a complaining customer or that it just felt like to much hassle to have the issue addressed at the time. We always advise those people that stores, restaurants, and service providers would much rather you speak up as soon as an issue arises. Not accept the less than satisfactory item or issue and then be disappointed and not a repeat customer.

I also lost a relative last week... an aunt who has filled the mother, grandmother role in my life and my kids lives after my mom passed away 25 years ago. So I completely sympathize with you on the unsettled feeling when dealing with the vacuum a loss like that leaves. And oddly enough I'm dealing with severe plantar fasciitis at the moment. But even with those issues I still think the first thing that would have popped out of my mouth when I saw the suit was "I don't think this is the one I reserved last time" especially if I'd gotten confirmation from my son who thought the same thing.

I don't really see you as a "victim". Without more information there is no evidence that they tried to pull a switcheroo on you or swindle you in anyway. At this point, all we know is a mistake was made either by the store not labeling the selected suit correctly or by you who was in morning and in pain.

I'm sorry if my post is coming across as harsh to you as well. I'll admit that my first thought when reading your OP was "What do you mean you only had a week to plan for the memorial service? You've known the relative was in poor health for a while."

The bolded part is the only harsh part to the OP.  My grandma was in hospice for two, nearly three weeks, as she held on.  If it wasn't for the fact that we knew the stroke she had was one that you don't come back, we would have thought she could come out of it.  That said, we couldn't plan a memorial service / funeral until she was gone and there was the fact that she left us right around the week leading up to Easter.  So there was a bit of cramming for us and I can see the same for anybody else in a similar situation.  Also, I don't think the OP was part of the planning and more of the ones told where and when it would be.

As for the rest, OP, it seems that you are casting yourself in the role of victim when you really shouldn't be.  If you couldn't speak up, you should have let your son do so.  I do it a lot for my mom, especially right after my grandma passed, and she's either too embarrassed or thinks she should get along to go along.  I just did it yesterday when her eggs were done the wrong way and she thought she should suck it up.  When you can speak, do so, and when you can't, ask others to help you.



jpcher

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Hmmmmm -- I agreed with most of your last post. It was a pretty good explanation about why the OP shouldn't feel victimized here, everyone here has a right to post their (polite) thoughts. It's up to the OP or other readers/posters to 'take it or leave it' . . . remember this is the internet. ;)


However, your last paragraph made me go  :o

I'm sorry if my post is coming across as harsh to you as well. I'll admit that my first thought when reading your OP was "What do you mean you only had a week to plan for the memorial service? You've known the relative was in poor health for a while."

The first part of your post didn't sound harsh to me at all, but the bold above? Even though the relative is in poor health for a while doesn't mean that someone is thinking "I need to get a proper suit" before said relative even passes away! When my LDH was in his final stages, believe me, the very last thing that was on my mind was what I was going to wear at his memorial service, nor was I thinking about planning the service itself! In fact, two days before his memorial I ran to Walmart in order to find me an acceptable off-the-shelf mourning outfit.

It sounds to me that you spoke of OP not being victimized by other posts, then you pounded on him a bit harder. ???

I know it's difficult to understand 'tone' with writing sometimes, so Hmmmmm, please take this as gentle confusion and not harsh criticism.



OP -- I didn't see anything in any of the replies that made you a victim. You said:

Interestingly different insights here - many of which I had not considered before. (That's something I like about reading EHell.)

Please don't call yourself a victim or think that posters are victim-blaming because, I'm sure, they really meant no offense when they say things like

I'm utterly confused as to why you didn't speak up straight away and tell them they'd given you the wrong suit?

Trust me. Sometimes, even on my best day, when something isn't quite right but still acceptable I'll meekly say "oh. okay." instead of standing up for myself. Then I go home and kick myself in the rear when I think "Oh! I could have said 'this!'"

It doesn't matter a whit if you were in pain, feeling unsettled, in mourning and all that . . . it's about finding that shiny new spine that is needed in order to speak up for yourself when you feel that you are wronged. At the time, not after the fact.


To answer your original question . . . no, I've never experienced anything like that, but I don't usually buy tailored clothing. ;) I don't necessarily see anything rude (maybe a bit lessor of a professional attitude) from the shop employees, and I have a question for you . . . will you go back to them for your next suit?




AngelicGamer -- you posted while I was typing. And I completely agree with you. ;D
« Last Edit: August 27, 2016, 01:57:00 PM by jpcher »

Zizi-K

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OP, from your original post, my impression was that you thought the suit was the wrong color, but the pressing need of having a well-fitting suit and the possibility that you were mistaken about the color meant that you would accept the darker blue. I probably would have made the same decision in the moment, but I also think it would have been ok in the moment to say, "Are you sure this is mine? I could have sworn I chose a slightly lighter color fabric." I mean, it could have been a mistake, and your correct suit could have been sitting in the back, who knows? That could have been an honest mistake.

What I think is crazy though is the fact that you needed a quick hem, you got attitude for it, and then it appeared not to have been hemmed at all! This place is clearly not winning your future business, and I think I would probably write the company directly to complain about what happened with the tailor. With the color...it seems as though you accepted the suit without asking the question, so I'm not sure how the company would have known to rectify it without being notified of the mistake.

Hmmmmm

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Jpcher and AngelicGamer, I don't take your responses as harsh criticism that probably isn't valid. Based on my life experiences "elderly relative" and "long illness" usually means that a specific outcome. It might not be this week or next month, but it's not sudden or unexpected. And I'm a planner... even for the bad things in life. Two months ago when my aunt took a turn, I got out my 19 year olds suit to make sure it still fit and made sure my DD had an appropriate outfits available for a summer service.

So I was just being honest about what my first thought was and I probably shouldn't have shared it. If my sister had called and said "we need to go buy a suit for my son and we only have a week to get one" I would have said the same to her. 

Bijou

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I had some work done by a dentist last week.  Just replacing an old filling that discolored.  After the work was done the whole tooth looks discolored.  Not happy, to say the least.   >:(
« Last Edit: August 27, 2016, 05:27:19 PM by Bijou »
I've never knitted anything I could recognize when it was finished.  Actually, I've never finished anything, much to my family's relief.

Bijou

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Re: Strangeness at a mens store? (switcheroo/alterations-not altered)
« Reply #22 on: August 27, 2016, 05:25:16 PM »
Interestingly different insights here - many of which I had not considered before. (That's something I like about reading EHell.)

Additional background: I injured my foot and have had moderate pain from that for the past ten days. I was in moderate pain both days I visited that store. I have been avoiding taking pain meds - but maybe I'd have been clearer-thinking if I had. (I did not mention this in the OP because I thought it would be whiny to do so, but I thinkit was a big factor in my thinking those days.)

Also, while maybe I am not in deep weeping-level grief over our elderly relative's death, I have felt quite unsettled since he passed away. (Maybe that is a milder form of grief?) I probably am not making my best decisions right now.

So between the pain and the unsettled-feeling (grief?) I agree with other posters that I was not at my consumer-rights best at the clothing store.

I have stood up for myself in consumer situations many times in the past, so I do know how to do that when I am feeling better.


Thank you to those who suggested that someone else got the suit I had originally been shown. I had not considered that explanation, but as soon as I read it here it made sense. That may be the answer to the mystery.

The suit I got was the exact same style and fabric (except only for the color) and the alterations to the suit coat (top) fit fine. The top was altered to fit me, in other words.

The pants seemed three-quarters of an inch longer than I like- BUT, as I wrote in the OP, I was wearing different shoes the second day. It is possible that the pants legs looked different to me because of the height of the different shoes. The clerk and the tailor both insisted that the length of the pants was fashionable. (When I got home, my wife agreed that the length of the pants is a fashionable length today. I prefer them 3/4 of an inch shorter, but then again I'm not so fashionable myself.)


I can follow the thinking of those here who blame me for someone else possibly getting the suit I originally saw.  That seems like victim-blaming to me and I am not going to accept that blame. But I can follow the reasoning of those who think that way even if I do not agree with them.

Thank you to all who have shared their thoughts.
I sounds to me like you were simply choosing your battles, and at the time of a family sorrow you just did what would make things run more smoothly.   Nothing wrong with that.  I admire someone who is able to put things in perspective, like, in the scheme of things this, after all, is a nice suit and I choose to focus on what is really important at this moment...my family and the circumstances.
« Last Edit: August 27, 2016, 05:28:06 PM by Bijou »
I've never knitted anything I could recognize when it was finished.  Actually, I've never finished anything, much to my family's relief.

LeeLee88

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The only times I've ever had strangeness were when I ordered clothes and they were out of an item so they took it upon themselves to replace the out of stock item with something else.  Okay, but could you give me an item in the correct size?  Example: ordered a maternity dress, what I got was a very beautiful dress that fit the 8 year old I gave it to very well.  The rail-thin 8 year old.  They did give me money back after I called and explained the problem, but come on, lol.

AngelicGamer

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;D thanks Jpcher!

Jpcher and AngelicGamer, I don't take your responses as harsh criticism that probably isn't valid. Based on my life experiences "elderly relative" and "long illness" usually means that a specific outcome. It might not be this week or next month, but it's not sudden or unexpected. And I'm a planner... even for the bad things in life. Two months ago when my aunt took a turn, I got out my 19 year olds suit to make sure it still fit and made sure my DD had an appropriate outfits available for a summer service.

So I was just being honest about what my first thought was and I probably shouldn't have shared it. If my sister had called and said "we need to go buy a suit for my son and we only have a week to get one" I would have said the same to her.

Eh... I chalk it up to YMMV and, well, not really having the same sort of planning mind set that you do.  I would say I'm a planner but I wouldn't be thinking that an elderly relative would be dead in two months unless it really was final stage / hanging on by the grace of Deity.  I think that's because, in my family, there's been a lot of false alarms before someone truly passes on.  My grandmother had more than a dozen (heart issues and a strange bit of blood loss) before she finally went and my uncle's up to 2 (strokes).  My great uncle was the same way before he went as have all of my other great aunts and uncle.  There's only been one out of the blue death and that was due to lifestyle complications.

This thread does now have me thinking about my closet and how, if someone was to go, I would need to run somewhere for an outfit.  I've lost a lot of weight and the mourning outfit looks like clown clothes.  So, that's now on my long term to-do list as my uncle really will be the next to go unless someone drops dead unexpectedly.



Twik

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Actually, I know what the OP felt. I find it very hard to speak up when something "official" goes wrong - I don't make quick decisions, and by the time I'd have convinced myself "No, this is NOT the right suit!" I'd probably be at the graveside.
My cousin's memoir of love and loneliness while raising a child with multiple disabilities will be out on Amazon soon! Know the Night, by Maria Mutch, has been called "full of hope, light, and companionship for surviving the small hours of the night."

siamesecat2965

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I'm curious though; did the suit still have the tags on it, after it was altered? because at least with women's clothing, while the item number may be the same for something, the SKU is actually unique to each specific item, by size and color.

I'm guessing men's may be the same, but I don't have enough experience to know. So maybe the suit number was 12345, and the SKU for the one you bought was abc, but the one you got, was def, and it would have been easy enough to check to make sure you received what you had actually purchased.

But I get why you did what you did. Given the circumstances, and you're not feeling 100% i might have done the same thing. Since what you got was "close enough"

Thipu1

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When a man buys a suit and sends it for minor alterations, would it be considered improper for the purchaser to use an indelible pen and put his initials on the labels in both the suit jacket and the trousers?

I'd think that would be a reasonable way of assuring that the suit coming out alter alterations would be the same suit that went in.

Mr. Thipu said he never heard of this but agreed that it didn't seem like a bad idea.