Author Topic: The "This Might Be A Stupid Question, But...." Thread  (Read 839921 times)

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Slartibartfast

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Re: The "This Might Be A Stupid Question, But...." Thread
« Reply #8265 on: August 23, 2013, 06:09:17 PM »
Why do people have wedding rehearsals?
I'm puzzled, mostly because I've read (mostly here, I don't read about weddings much) that the diner is not always at the restaurant or place it will be on the day of the wedding. I don't even know if there's a rehearsal of the ceremony before?
So yeah, my question is more why and what does it entails?

Ours - which I assume is fairly common - was a rehearsal at the chapel where we were getting married the next day.  It was basically a walkthrough, to make sure everyone knew when to do their part and where to stand.  (It was a smallish wedding, so ours didn't take very long, but people with a dozen attendants and multiple liturgists can take quite a while!)  Then we had the rehearsal dinner, which was really just a dinner where we took everyone who was in the wedding out for a meal.  In our case, we also took out all the people who flew in from out of town because a) that was nearly everyone, and b) small wedding :)  Sometimes the rehearsal dinner is where final details are organized about who's picking up the potato salad tomorrow morning and who's making sure Grandma doesn't try to drive herself . . .

mandycorn

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Re: The "This Might Be A Stupid Question, But...." Thread
« Reply #8266 on: August 23, 2013, 06:19:30 PM »
That's also where my friends have given out wedding party gifts to thank their bridesmaids and groomsmen for their participation. And, at the most recent wedding I participated in, it was a good chance for the wedding party to meet each other for the first time before the wedding.
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guihong

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Re: The "This Might Be A Stupid Question, But...." Thread
« Reply #8267 on: August 23, 2013, 06:22:02 PM »
It's generally a more intimate dinner than the reception the next day (or when the wedding comes).  They're not required, but for a large-ish wedding, it's a time to make sure everyone knows the schedule, musicians are coordinated, ushers (who have usually never ushed before ;)) know what to do, etc.

One tradition that I see a lot and did myself: the bride and groom never stand in at the rehearsal.  It's superstition and all that.

Another tradition was that the groom's family paid for this dinner, and thus chose the restaurant.  Nowadays, that's not always followed, though.



ladyknight1

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Re: The "This Might Be A Stupid Question, But...." Thread
« Reply #8268 on: August 23, 2013, 06:51:23 PM »
We stood in our rehearsal and my sisters boyfriend at the time stood as officiant for the rehearsal. I'm glad we had it, since MIL threw her tantrum after that and not at the actual wedding.

It was a good thing, because some of the venue items had to be adjusted to accommodate our guests in wheelchairs so they could see everything.

Thipu1

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Re: The "This Might Be A Stupid Question, But...." Thread
« Reply #8269 on: August 23, 2013, 07:23:17 PM »
Why do people have wedding rehearsals?
I'm puzzled, mostly because I've read (mostly here, I don't read about weddings much) that the diner is not always at the restaurant or place it will be on the day of the wedding. I don't even know if there's a rehearsal of the ceremony before?
So yeah, my question is more why and what does it entails?

There's an old joke about the FOB asking the Bride, 'Why do we need a rehearsal dinner? We all know how to eat.'

Like Weddings in general, rehearsals vary greatly.  The idea is to get the bridal party used to the
house of worship in which the Wedding is to take place and figure out the timing.  What music will be played when is discussed. Bits of choreography such as the bride handing off her bouquet to the MOH for the vows is also treated.  In 1983 when we were married, it was traditional to make a mock bouquet with a paper plate and the bows from the shower gifts for the bride.   This was used as a prop at the rehearsal to make the bouquet transfer more comfortable.

The rehearsal is also a time to get misconceptions straightened out.  At ours, the celebrant said that, after the ceremony was completed, he would spread his arms, announce us as Mr. and Mrs. X and
 encourage applause from the guests.  In no uncertain terms, we told him that we did not want this.  It didn't happen at the actual ceremony.

Our rehearsal dinner was tiny. Our only attendants were the MOH and BM. We just all went out after the rehearsal and got a table for four at a local place.  No reservations were needed.  In later years, we were invited to rehearsal dinners that included at least 80 people because most of the family was coming in from out of town and staying in hotels.

The rehearsal dinner is a chance to say 'Thank You' to attendants and present gifts.  If relatives of the bride or groom have come a long way, the rehearsal dinner gives both sides a relaxed atmosphere in which to get acquainted before the actual Wedding.  In no way is the rehearsal dinner a rehearsal for the Wedding reception.  There is no dancing and no cake.  It's just a get-to-know-you
 sort of thing.  The rehearsal dinner is usually also held in a place that's more informal than the reception venue.   
 
BTW, just this week I heard of a bride who had 80 bridesmaids.  It's not as bad as you might think. The bride ran a dance school and asked all her students to be attendants.  Now, THAT required one humongous Wedding rehearsal.   
 

     
« Last Edit: August 23, 2013, 07:30:26 PM by Thipu1 »

Dindrane

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Re: The "This Might Be A Stupid Question, But...." Thread
« Reply #8270 on: August 23, 2013, 09:06:02 PM »
When I got married, my rehearsal took a good hour because the priest walked us through the ceremony twice. I was extremely glad for it, because I'm a cry when I get emotional (any emotion, good or bad), and I did this really awful sounding sob-laugh the first time I tried to say my vows. Having gone through them a couple of times in a situation that was almost like the real deal kept me from doing anything quite that ridiculous during the actual wedding. I still cried, but it was much more graceful. :)

It also gave our two readers, who had never been inside the church, a chance to practice their reading and get a feel for it. And the priest explained where we were supposed to go at what times during the ceremony.

I ended up inviting everyone to our rehearsal dinner, just because most of our guest list was not local (including us, since we got married in my home city rather than where we actually live), and some were coming from really far away. We wanted an extra, less formal chance to see people. I think probably about half the people we invited made an appearance, which was really nice.

In general, even a simple wedding can be surprisingly complicated when it comes right down to it, and it's more meaningful to be in (and to witness) if the people participating in it have at least a basic idea of what they are supposed to do and say. And the rehearsal dinner, at its most basic, is intended to provide hospitality to people who have taken time out to attend your rehearsal. It can be bigger than that, but in its simplest form, it's just the wedding party going out to a restaurant.


Betelnut

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Re: The "This Might Be A Stupid Question, But...." Thread
« Reply #8271 on: August 24, 2013, 11:35:50 AM »
I just went to my sister's wedding rehearsal last month!  It is definitely needed--basically it is just a run through of the ceremony--who will stand where, when, and other types of decisions.  For example, it was decided that my sister and her soon-to-be husband would sit down during a musical section of the ceremony.

Plus, my niece--only three--who was a flower girl got a chance to run around but also a chance to practice and to know what was going to happen.  My daughter, seven and also a flower girl, got an opportunity to practice her role in the ceremony.

This practice was very important.

The rehearsal dinner is something different and people do it differently depending on their preferences.  My sister had it at a local restaurant with tons of people that weren't part of the wedding ceremony itself.  Just another chance to meet everyone and have fun!
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KenveeB

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Re: The "This Might Be A Stupid Question, But...." Thread
« Reply #8272 on: August 24, 2013, 11:54:52 AM »
Sometimes people hear "rehearsal dinner" and think you're rehearsing the dinner (reception) part of things. But it's actually the rehearsal of the wedding ceremony, and then to thank everyone for taking out their time to do that, you take everyone who participated to dinner. Rehearsals can be quick or complicated, depending on how complicated the wedding ceremony will be, but it's a good way to make sure everyone know where to stand and how they're walking in and out. The rehearsal dinner is the "after" part, once the work is done, and you're just relaxing, eating, and getting to know each other.

Tea Drinker

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Re: The "This Might Be A Stupid Question, But...." Thread
« Reply #8273 on: August 24, 2013, 03:02:25 PM »
The one wedding rehearsal I've been to, it was a combination of physical "this is the church, you will be sitting here" and "this is a Purple ceremony, it involves XYZ, you attendants who are not members of that church should just stand at this point in the ceremony."

The rehearsal dinner was for the wedding party and some close relatives; my friend's parents were I think a little surprised as well as pleased at how much I, from New York, enjoyed the Maryland crab feast they treated us to. (Some people's reaction to their first steamed crabs is "how do I eat these things?" but it wasn't my first time.) I don't think either of the other weddings I've been in had formal rehearsals, but neither was in a church.
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ScubaGirl

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Re: The "This Might Be A Stupid Question, But...." Thread
« Reply #8274 on: August 27, 2013, 12:50:30 PM »
From the other side: my father is a retired minister.  He was very popular but also very strict.  He brooked no delays/nonsense during rehearsals.  He had a wife and 5 kids waiting for him at home.  He also politely informed the happy couple on the outset that he did not attend rehearsal dinners or wedding receptions.  He figured they probably didn't want him there anyway, he didn't actually enjoy them all that much, and, as mentioned before, he had a family waiting at home.

Carotte

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Re: The "This Might Be A Stupid Question, But...." Thread
« Reply #8275 on: August 29, 2013, 08:06:30 PM »
What is the best dusting method or implement that you found?

Turns out I don't own anything really made for dusting so it was a really sloppy and quite useless job with the rag I used, today I tried with a moist sponge (I only had things like wood or stone to dust) and it was quite effective, appart from having to clean it in a sink a few times, which doesn't bother me : not many surfaces + small apartment: the sink is not that far away.

So I was wondering if I should invest in something like a swiffer or a microfiber cloth or just keep with the sponge?

SlitherHiss

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Re: The "This Might Be A Stupid Question, But...." Thread
« Reply #8276 on: August 29, 2013, 08:24:58 PM »
I use a microfiber cloth (cheapo ones, from the dollar store) for most of my dusting. When I had blinds, I used a Swiffer, but that's really the only thing it was really good for.  Old, dead t-shirts work really well, too, but they've got to be really dead, to the point where they're starting to get "fuzzy" and transparent at the same time.

Luci45

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Re: The "This Might Be A Stupid Question, But...." Thread
« Reply #8277 on: August 29, 2013, 08:35:24 PM »
What is the best dusting method or implement that you found?

Turns out I don't own anything really made for dusting so it was a really sloppy and quite useless job with the rag I used, today I tried with a moist sponge (I only had things like wood or stone to dust) and it was quite effective, appart from having to clean it in a sink a few times, which doesn't bother me : not many surfaces + small apartment: the sink is not that far away.

So I was wondering if I should invest in something like a swiffer or a microfiber cloth or just keep with the sponge?

There is so much you can not do with a sponge!

I would say a microfiber and a can of Endust for furniture (tops, sides, drawer fronts) and a wooly (feather duster or longhandled Swiffer) should do it. You need the wooly for tops of picture frames, door trim, panelled cabinets, ceiling fans, top of doorbell, and vents. Keep it clean and don't use the Endust on it because you don't want that on paint.

Please don't use wet on wood. Even if it dries quickly and seems to do a really good job, it does eventually deteriorate the finish.

jpcher

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Re: The "This Might Be A Stupid Question, But...." Thread
« Reply #8278 on: August 29, 2013, 08:50:24 PM »
My favorite dust cloths are old T-shirt scraps. They don't "pill" or leave pieces of the cloth behind. I spray the cloth with just a touch of endust . . . this helps pick up the dust and adhere it to the cloth instead of just brushing the dust around.

I've used the Swiffer dusting products and really like them. They are already treated with a "magnetic" substance and really do work well.

Using soap and water with a sponge? That's kinda like when the item is soiled in dust and needs to be brought to the sink and washed, instead of simply dusted.


Liliane

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Re: The "This Might Be A Stupid Question, But...." Thread
« Reply #8279 on: August 29, 2013, 09:00:50 PM »
POD to the Swiffers. You can probably also find reusable Swiffer-type things on Etsy or whatnot - I know they make them for the Swiffer mop, so they might make them for the duster too. Other than that, I usually just use a very old cloth diaper, it works a treat.
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