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Author Topic: The "This Might Be A Stupid Question, But...." Thread  (Read 2560384 times)

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jpcher

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Re: The "This Might Be A Stupid Question, But...." Thread
« Reply #8445 on: October 04, 2013, 05:27:33 PM »
Okay, what's "Over the hill"? 40 or 50? I've heard both and am wondering if in 5 years I should be bracing myself for "Over the Hill" comments or if I have 15 more years.

Personally? To me, being "Over the hill" is a good thing. I see that as the beginning of a nice, slow-n-easy down-hill path to travel. Finances are taken care of, kids are on their own, being in a place of responsibility with the job (thinking about retirement ;)) etc. I'm looking forward to being over the hill because then I can seriously concentrate on "ME!" time. You know, taking care of my bucket list because I have time.



That being said, for everybody that I know, we had an "Over the hill" party when they turned 40. I think that's just because it's a fun thing.

perpetua

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Re: The "This Might Be A Stupid Question, But...." Thread
« Reply #8446 on: October 04, 2013, 05:36:01 PM »
Okay, what's "Over the hill"? 40 or 50? I've heard both and am wondering if in 5 years I should be bracing myself for "Over the Hill" comments or if I have 15 more years.

We are still wondering, too. Every decade, we seem to lose something, so I would expect to have to make jokes at each milestone birthday. Everyone is differnt, but this is the general rundown:

In the mid 40's, you realize you can't play a full game of basketball. Graying hair, perimenopause. (For counterexample, my hair is brown but thinning.)

About 50s, the joints and energy start failing, as well as the obvious female stuff.

60s, the internal organs begin to fail.

70s - just there and scared. Everything is just a little slower. All repairs and housework take twice or more as long as before. Thinking, too.

We have pretty much accepted it all as it happens, been sad, then get silly about it.

So, my answer to is "both". Laugh and enjoy the attention. Remember the past and look forward to the future, no matter what!

On this subject, I defer to the great Jeremy Clarkson, who once said during an episode of Top Gear that the thing about being over 40 is that you wake up one day and a bit of you that worked perfectly well yesterday has inexplicably broken in the night. It's all true, as I'm now discovering.

Outdoor Girl

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Re: The "This Might Be A Stupid Question, But...." Thread
« Reply #8447 on: October 04, 2013, 05:37:29 PM »
My boss and I joke that the warranty expires at 40.
After cleaning out my Dad's house, I have this advice:  If you haven't used it in a year, throw it out!!!!.
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blue2000

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Re: The "This Might Be A Stupid Question, But...." Thread
« Reply #8448 on: October 04, 2013, 06:11:31 PM »

On this subject, I defer to the great Jeremy Clarkson, who once said during an episode of Top Gear that the thing about being over 40 is that you wake up one day and a bit of you that worked perfectly well yesterday has inexplicably broken in the night. It's all true, as I'm now discovering.

This gave me a chuckle, since that scenario has happened to me most of my life. Am I going to wake up now and find something inexplicably fixed?? :P ;D
You are only young once. After that you have to think up some other excuse.

magicdomino

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Re: The "This Might Be A Stupid Question, But...." Thread
« Reply #8449 on: October 04, 2013, 07:12:37 PM »
My boss and I joke that the warranty expires at 40.

My friend told me that when I turned 40, and I laughed.  Danged if she wasn't right.  Nothing major, just the eyes needing reading glasses, injuries taking longer to heal.  Little, annoying stuff.

I have considered dying my hair blonde when it goes completely white, just to see if blondes really do have more fun.  Royal blue is a possibility, too.  ;)

Luci

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Re: The "This Might Be A Stupid Question, But...." Thread
« Reply #8450 on: October 04, 2013, 07:22:54 PM »
Somebody! Quick! Tell me how to start a new thread about aging, and what place to put it!

Coruscation

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Re: The "This Might Be A Stupid Question, But...." Thread
« Reply #8451 on: October 04, 2013, 11:37:36 PM »
I've always figured that the hill was the same as the hump. Wednesday is hump day because its the middle of the week. It's all downhill from there. So 'over the hill' is equivalent of Thurs and Fri. As for how long the top bit is, I guess it's over once you pass the 'peak' of your health and life. So, forty sounds reasonable if you are going for the biblical 'four score and ten'. You can push it back later if you have good health and good genes but alternatively, anything after high school was probably over the hill for Al Bundy.

RingTailedLemur

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Re: The "This Might Be A Stupid Question, But...." Thread
« Reply #8452 on: October 05, 2013, 03:58:30 AM »
How can I get better at accepting compliments?  I always say thank you, but I'm always afraid my tone of voice is wrong, either it sounds like I'm mocking or full of myself.  I'm terrible at accepting compliments and I think that's making me rude.  I don't want to be rude, I just have no idea how to take a compliment the right way  :-\

Do you have trouble accepting compliments because you don't believe them, or don't feel you deserve them?  That was/is my problem.

Try smiling first as you say "thank you", and really feel it.  A deep breath and a genuine smile help my voice to sound warm and sincere :)

Redsoil

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Re: The "This Might Be A Stupid Question, But...." Thread
« Reply #8453 on: October 05, 2013, 06:15:54 AM »
How can I get better at accepting compliments?  I always say thank you, but I'm always afraid my tone of voice is wrong, either it sounds like I'm mocking or full of myself.  I'm terrible at accepting compliments and I think that's making me rude.  I don't want to be rude, I just have no idea how to take a compliment the right way  :-\

Would it help if, rather than simply saying "thank you" (and possibly feeling weird about it), you were to say something like:

"What a lovely thing to say!  Thank you!"  "How nice of you to mention it.  Thank you!"  (Add in "you've made my day." if you wish.) May be a bit over the top for basic things, but I'm sure you get the concept.  Makes the other person feel good too!
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Iris

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Re: The "This Might Be A Stupid Question, But...." Thread
« Reply #8454 on: October 05, 2013, 06:54:21 AM »
How can I get better at accepting compliments?  I always say thank you, but I'm always afraid my tone of voice is wrong, either it sounds like I'm mocking or full of myself.  I'm terrible at accepting compliments and I think that's making me rude.  I don't want to be rude, I just have no idea how to take a compliment the right way  :-\

Perhaps it would help if rather than focus on the compliment you focus on the kind gesture that someone took time out of their day to a) notice something nice about you and b) bother to mention it. I tend to think of it as thanking them for making an effort to help me have a better day, like if someone holds a door for you or something similar.
"Can't do anything with children, can you?" the woman said.

Poirot thought you could, but forebore to say so.

Mental Magpie

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Re: The "This Might Be A Stupid Question, But...." Thread
« Reply #8455 on: October 05, 2013, 04:03:23 PM »
I think my issue is that I don't always think I deserve it.  For example, a coworker told me I did really well at the special teams academy (he was there with me); it was unexpected and I didn't think I did anything extraordinary.  I didn't know what to say so I very awkwardly said "thank you" and he called me out on being terrible at accepting compliments (it was in good fun, he and I have a rapport of sorts, he was not being mean by calling me out).  I didn't understand why he was complimenting me so I didn't respond correctly :(

You've given me good advice.  Thank you.  I will try to implement it; maybe if I look at the compliments differently I'll be able to accept them better.  It's hard for me because I don't have the best self esteem and I don't often get compliments other than how I'm smart.

guihong

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Re: The "This Might Be A Stupid Question, But...." Thread
« Reply #8456 on: October 05, 2013, 04:07:41 PM »
I think my issue is that I don't always think I deserve it.  For example, a coworker told me I did really well at the special teams academy (he was there with me); it was unexpected and I didn't think I did anything extraordinary.  I didn't know what to say so I very awkwardly said "thank you" and he called me out on being terrible at accepting compliments (it was in good fun, he and I have a rapport of sorts, he was not being mean by calling me out).  I didn't understand why he was complimenting me so I didn't respond correctly :(

You've given me good advice.  Thank you.  I will try to implement it; maybe if I look at the compliments differently I'll be able to accept them better.  It's hard for me because I don't have the best self esteem and I don't often get compliments other than how I'm smart.

Think of a compliment as a gift or a present, and then think about how we here on Ehell talk about graciously accepting said gifts.  Don't discount it with "Oh, it wasn't much", say "That's lovely to hear; thank you!"  Because you do deserve it :).



Outdoor Girl

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Re: The "This Might Be A Stupid Question, But...." Thread
« Reply #8457 on: October 05, 2013, 05:06:05 PM »
When someone pays me a compliment, I invariably blush.  I do thank the person but I'm always a little uncomfortable.

I made hats for one of the guys in my union - he's a game warden and a group of them take underprivileged kids away on a fishing trip every year.  So the last meeting, where I'm secretary, he thanked the group for the monetary donation the local gave to the event and had special thanks for me.  It was really hard for me to include that in the minutes but felt that it should be there.  So it went in as absolutely low key as I could make it.
After cleaning out my Dad's house, I have this advice:  If you haven't used it in a year, throw it out!!!!.
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Carotte

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Re: The "This Might Be A Stupid Question, But...." Thread
« Reply #8458 on: October 05, 2013, 05:36:33 PM »
About the taking a compliment, I never know how to answer or what to do when m'y SO tells me I'm pretty.
Saying Thank you would seem uterly weird, so I akwardly smile...
What do you answer to that ?
I like it when he says it, I'm juste really not used to anyone saying it beside my parents.

Iris

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Re: The "This Might Be A Stupid Question, But...." Thread
« Reply #8459 on: October 05, 2013, 05:52:48 PM »
About the taking a compliment, I never know how to answer or what to do when m'y SO tells me I'm pretty.
Saying Thank you would seem uterly weird, so I akwardly smile...
What do you answer to that ?
I like it when he says it, I'm juste really not used to anyone saying it beside my parents.

"Yes. yes, I am. Way out of YOUR league  ;D" Why is it weird to say thank you? You'd say thank you if he bought you flowers to brighten your day, surely. This is just him brightening your day in another way. The best way you can show appreciation is to enjoy that gift where he can see it. Think "He thinks I'm pretty, that makes me feel nice" and allow that to show on your face.

I used to be bad at receiving compliments and feel awkward and self conscious and undeserving and all that stuff. As I grew older I realised that there is NO shortage of people in the world who will put you down. Why believe those people, who were often random strangers or had an obvious agenda, over people who knew me and loved me who were saying the nice stuff?
"Can't do anything with children, can you?" the woman said.

Poirot thought you could, but forebore to say so.