Author Topic: The "This Might Be A Stupid Question, But...." Thread  (Read 1057416 times)

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Iris

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Re: The "This Might Be A Stupid Question, But...." Thread
« Reply #8490 on: October 05, 2013, 07:54:21 AM »
How can I get better at accepting compliments?  I always say thank you, but I'm always afraid my tone of voice is wrong, either it sounds like I'm mocking or full of myself.  I'm terrible at accepting compliments and I think that's making me rude.  I don't want to be rude, I just have no idea how to take a compliment the right way  :-\

Perhaps it would help if rather than focus on the compliment you focus on the kind gesture that someone took time out of their day to a) notice something nice about you and b) bother to mention it. I tend to think of it as thanking them for making an effort to help me have a better day, like if someone holds a door for you or something similar.
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Mental Magpie

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Re: The "This Might Be A Stupid Question, But...." Thread
« Reply #8491 on: October 05, 2013, 05:03:23 PM »
I think my issue is that I don't always think I deserve it.  For example, a coworker told me I did really well at the special teams academy (he was there with me); it was unexpected and I didn't think I did anything extraordinary.  I didn't know what to say so I very awkwardly said "thank you" and he called me out on being terrible at accepting compliments (it was in good fun, he and I have a rapport of sorts, he was not being mean by calling me out).  I didn't understand why he was complimenting me so I didn't respond correctly :(

You've given me good advice.  Thank you.  I will try to implement it; maybe if I look at the compliments differently I'll be able to accept them better.  It's hard for me because I don't have the best self esteem and I don't often get compliments other than how I'm smart.
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guihong

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Re: The "This Might Be A Stupid Question, But...." Thread
« Reply #8492 on: October 05, 2013, 05:07:41 PM »
I think my issue is that I don't always think I deserve it.  For example, a coworker told me I did really well at the special teams academy (he was there with me); it was unexpected and I didn't think I did anything extraordinary.  I didn't know what to say so I very awkwardly said "thank you" and he called me out on being terrible at accepting compliments (it was in good fun, he and I have a rapport of sorts, he was not being mean by calling me out).  I didn't understand why he was complimenting me so I didn't respond correctly :(

You've given me good advice.  Thank you.  I will try to implement it; maybe if I look at the compliments differently I'll be able to accept them better.  It's hard for me because I don't have the best self esteem and I don't often get compliments other than how I'm smart.

Think of a compliment as a gift or a present, and then think about how we here on Ehell talk about graciously accepting said gifts.  Don't discount it with "Oh, it wasn't much", say "That's lovely to hear; thank you!"  Because you do deserve it :).



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Re: The "This Might Be A Stupid Question, But...." Thread
« Reply #8493 on: October 05, 2013, 06:06:05 PM »
When someone pays me a compliment, I invariably blush.  I do thank the person but I'm always a little uncomfortable.

I made hats for one of the guys in my union - he's a game warden and a group of them take underprivileged kids away on a fishing trip every year.  So the last meeting, where I'm secretary, he thanked the group for the monetary donation the local gave to the event and had special thanks for me.  It was really hard for me to include that in the minutes but felt that it should be there.  So it went in as absolutely low key as I could make it.
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Carotte

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Re: The "This Might Be A Stupid Question, But...." Thread
« Reply #8494 on: October 05, 2013, 06:36:33 PM »
About the taking a compliment, I never know how to answer or what to do when m'y SO tells me I'm pretty.
Saying Thank you would seem uterly weird, so I akwardly smile...
What do you answer to that ?
I like it when he says it, I'm juste really not used to anyone saying it beside my parents.

Iris

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Re: The "This Might Be A Stupid Question, But...." Thread
« Reply #8495 on: October 05, 2013, 06:52:48 PM »
About the taking a compliment, I never know how to answer or what to do when m'y SO tells me I'm pretty.
Saying Thank you would seem uterly weird, so I akwardly smile...
What do you answer to that ?
I like it when he says it, I'm juste really not used to anyone saying it beside my parents.

"Yes. yes, I am. Way out of YOUR league  ;D" Why is it weird to say thank you? You'd say thank you if he bought you flowers to brighten your day, surely. This is just him brightening your day in another way. The best way you can show appreciation is to enjoy that gift where he can see it. Think "He thinks I'm pretty, that makes me feel nice" and allow that to show on your face.

I used to be bad at receiving compliments and feel awkward and self conscious and undeserving and all that stuff. As I grew older I realised that there is NO shortage of people in the world who will put you down. Why believe those people, who were often random strangers or had an obvious agenda, over people who knew me and loved me who were saying the nice stuff?
"Can't do anything with children, can you?" the woman said.

Poirot thought you could, but forebore to say so.

Liliane

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Re: The "This Might Be A Stupid Question, But...." Thread
« Reply #8496 on: October 05, 2013, 07:10:01 PM »
I'm pretty bad with taking compliments too, but for some reason I seem to be bad at it in a really good way. I invariably end up giggling a little, smiling very big and thanking the person who's given me the compliment quite profusely. Apparently this is what people want and they're always completely convinced I have a lot more confidence with compliments than I do!
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Mental Magpie

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Re: The "This Might Be A Stupid Question, But...." Thread
« Reply #8497 on: October 05, 2013, 07:14:45 PM »
About the taking a compliment, I never know how to answer or what to do when m'y SO tells me I'm pretty.
Saying Thank you would seem uterly weird, so I akwardly smile...
What do you answer to that ?
I like it when he says it, I'm juste really not used to anyone saying it beside my parents.

I'm not even used to my parents saying it!  I blush so hard when my boyfriend does it and sometimes manage to squeak out a thank you...but it's better than what he does when I tell him he's handsome.  He laughs!  It's out of embarrassment and I think it's adorable, but he laughs, smiles, and shakes his head.  I thought I was bad at taking compliments.
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Piratelvr1121

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Re: The "This Might Be A Stupid Question, But...." Thread
« Reply #8498 on: October 05, 2013, 07:30:32 PM »
I still blush when I get compliments too, and some I'm better at taking than others.  My bff used to get annoyed when people would compliment me on my photos and I'd say "Oh well it's a really good camera" as she'd try to convince me it's not the camera, but the person using it.  Perhaps, but let's be honest, even in the hands of a professional photographer, a point and shoot is not going to perform the same way as an SLR. 

DH isn't terribly good at compliments either as I'll call him cute or handsome and the answer's always "Nah...!"
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Slartibartfast

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Re: The "This Might Be A Stupid Question, But...." Thread
« Reply #8499 on: October 05, 2013, 08:36:30 PM »
About the taking a compliment, I never know how to answer or what to do when m'y SO tells me I'm pretty.
Saying Thank you would seem uterly weird, so I akwardly smile...
What do you answer to that ?
I like it when he says it, I'm juste really not used to anyone saying it beside my parents.

"Oh, thanks!  You always know just what to say to make me feel special."  Or just "That's so sweet - thanks."

Tea Drinker

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Re: The "This Might Be A Stupid Question, But...." Thread
« Reply #8500 on: October 05, 2013, 09:57:18 PM »
For some compliments, I'd say something like "Thanks, I'm glad you like it." That won't work if someone is complimenting your appearance, but it's fine if they like a cake you baked, a hat you knitted, a photo you took.
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WillyNilly

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Re: The "This Might Be A Stupid Question, But...." Thread
« Reply #8501 on: October 05, 2013, 11:30:03 PM »
I think one of the keys to accepting compliments well is thinking about how you prefer for people to respond to you when you compliment them.
I think a sincere "thank you" is always appropriate, as is a compliment back (for example if your boyfriend says you are pretty you can respond with "aww that's because you make me happy and what you see is my happiness"). A big smile is good too.

Hmmmmm

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Re: The "This Might Be A Stupid Question, But...." Thread
« Reply #8502 on: October 06, 2013, 06:49:19 AM »
About the taking a compliment, I never know how to answer or what to do when m'y SO tells me I'm pretty.
Saying Thank you would seem uterly weird, so I akwardly smile...
What do you answer to that ?
I like it when he says it, I'm juste really not used to anyone saying it beside my parents.
As others have said, focus your response the action vs content.
"I'm glad you think so."
"Thanks for saying so."
" You make me feel pretty."
"Thanks, I needed to hear that today."

And occasional joking is fine too.
"You are so right. These jeans make me look smoking hot. You better watch out tonight."

Dazi

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Re: The "This Might Be A Stupid Question, But...." Thread
« Reply #8503 on: October 06, 2013, 08:22:59 AM »
Due to the crazy heat here the last month or so, I've had some dehydration problems despite drinking nearly 100 oz a day.  My doctor said I was not getting enough salt since I typically do not eat prepared foods and I do not add salt to my food.  He encouraged me to drink some zero calorie Powerade or Gatorade everyday until it didn't taste good anymore.  I've been through more jars of pickles this past month than I care to admit.  ;)

Now his set of directions made perfect since to me since the only time I will drink that vile stuff is when I'm really sick or really dehydrated and it taste DEVINE, but when I am not, it taste like watered down nasty stale koolaid.  My husband said that is nuts because the taste of it never changes. 

Well apparently the taste changes for me and my doctor.  Does anyone else have the phenomenon with electrolyte drinks? Or is my DH the one who is right, that the taste does not change?
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exitzero

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Re: The "This Might Be A Stupid Question, But...." Thread
« Reply #8504 on: October 06, 2013, 08:34:28 AM »
Due to the crazy heat here the last month or so, I've had some dehydration problems despite drinking nearly 100 oz a day.  My doctor said I was not getting enough salt since I typically do not eat prepared foods and I do not add salt to my food.  He encouraged me to drink some zero calorie Powerade or Gatorade everyday until it didn't taste good anymore.  I've been through more jars of pickles this past month than I care to admit.  ;)

Now his set of directions made perfect since to me since the only time I will drink that vile stuff is when I'm really sick or really dehydrated and it taste DEVINE, but when I am not, it taste like watered down nasty stale koolaid.  My husband said that is nuts because the taste of it never changes. 

Well apparently the taste changes for me and my doctor.  Does anyone else have the phenomenon with electrolyte drinks? Or is my DH the one who is right, that the taste does not change?
You are right, I have heard a couple of people complain about that. I remember going to a concert once and the lead singer complained that his Gatorade didn't taste right because he didn't need it yet. A few songs later, after he had worked up a good sweat, it tasted just right!