We have to talk about this addiction of yours to gumnuts.
You're 2 years old now, and as a strapping young hound, you should have stopped this. You can't actually eat gumnuts, although you do seem to give it a dingdangity good effort. But the oil will give you tummy aches, not to mention we can smell it on your breath.
Humans are also not impressed with walking across what should be a flat floor only to find our feet sliding out from under us as we step on them and then crash to the ground. Rest assured however, that should zombies ever invade, we will need your skills to scatter them across the ground and grind it to a halt.
Until then, please stop collecting gumnuts every time you go outside, or we'll start checking your mouth before bringing you back in.
The providers of chewies.