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  • July 28, 2016, 03:56:35 PM

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Author Topic: In-Law Stories - The good, the bad and the wacky  (Read 84151 times)

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ehelluser

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Re: In-Law Stories - The good, the bad and the wacky
« Reply #465 on: June 30, 2016, 06:23:43 PM »




My mother said she was so horrified when her new husband was called "Billy" by the folks at his home church that she vowed she'd never name a boy child with a name that could be converted to a diminutive. Fortunately, the names she picked for other reasons also fit that criterion (and my dad agreed with her, though I don't think he felt quite as strongly). "Paul" is really never changed to "Paulie" in our area, so she was safe.
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I go by a nickname and prefer not to be called by my given name.  My DH's given name is usually a nickname but everyone tries to make it the more formal version. Think being legally *Jim* not *James.*  When we picked out a name for our son the main criteria was that it couldn't easily be made into a nickname.

Kiwipinball

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Re: In-Law Stories - The good, the bad and the wacky
« Reply #466 on: June 30, 2016, 11:41:00 PM »
Well, in all fairness, if any of the girls had their period, the underside of the lid could potentially be pretty gross. But I think MIL was silly to mention it. Obviously it was an oversight. Cleaning, like anything, is a learned skill, and I wouldn't expect teenagers or young adults to just intuitively know how to do every last thing.

On the other hand, that's a good way to learn - with family mentioning it. Not clear how mad MIL was, it definitely sounds like a better teaching moment than something to be mad about. If no one ever says anything, daughter may never learn to do that (or that grandma would prefer it done).

TootsNYC

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Re: In-Law Stories - The good, the bad and the wacky
« Reply #467 on: June 30, 2016, 11:51:00 PM »
... "Apparently you didn't clean the toilet."  "What?  We did clean it!"  "Not the underside of the lid."  I spluttered "You have to be kidding me.  It wouldn't have occurred to me to do that, let alone a bunch of teenagers."

This always puzzles me. When I clean something, I clean -all- surfaces. Top, bottom, inside, outside, front, back.

I had to train my husband that it was important to wash the outside of the drinking glasses. But he didn't believe me until I pointed out that you get finger smudges there. He kept saying, "but the milk/soda only goes on the inside."

And I had to explain the physics of plates--that when water gets on the top of the plate where the food is, it will run over the rim and carry with it any oil from the food. And the oil will cling.

Pointing to the smeary spots wasn't enough--he wouldn't believe me until i pointed all these things out.

But I kept thinking, "What part of 'wash the plate' sounds like 'wash the top part of the plate'?

When I dust the end table, I dust sides and legs as well as top.

WolfWay

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Re: In-Law Stories - The good, the bad and the wacky
« Reply #468 on: July 01, 2016, 04:55:46 AM »

Quote


My mother said she was so horrified when her new husband was called "Billy" by the folks at his home church that she vowed she'd never name a boy child with a name that could be converted to a diminutive. Fortunately, the names she picked for other reasons also fit that criterion (and my dad agreed with her, though I don't think he felt quite as strongly). "Paul" is really never changed to "Paulie" in our area, so she was safe.

I go by a nickname and prefer not to be called by my given name.  My DH's given name is usually a nickname but everyone tries to make it the more formal version. Think being legally *Jim* not *James.*  When we picked out a name for our son the main criteria was that it couldn't easily be made into a nickname.
I've never had a nickname based on my name. My name is almost impossible to make an easy nickname out of (not without chopping bits of it out or ending up with short weak sounds that don't stand on their own), and yet one of my coworker's keeps trying (by sticking "-y" at the end and it just sound weird when he does it).

If my name were something like Taratte (not even close to my name, but the same consonant/vowel/syllable pattern), you can't really shorten it down to "Tar" cos that sounds wierd, and you can't take the middle cos "rat" isn't a good sounding nickname, and you can't shorten it down to "atte" cos that won't stand on it's own as a good nickname. He insists on sticking a -Y on the end of my full name to make it "Taratte-y" and it's now one syllable even longer and just sounds wrong.

It's best to love your family as you would a Siberian Tiger - from a distance, preferably separated by bars . -- Pearls Before Swine (16-May-2009)

LadyDyani

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Re: In-Law Stories - The good, the bad and the wacky
« Reply #469 on: July 01, 2016, 07:18:11 AM »
My family shortened my name when I was young, but at work I go by my full name. Think "Francine" but my family calls me "Frannie".

My sister was hired here, and now half of the people here call me by the shortened version of my name.  :-(  I really dislike it.
English doesn't borrow from other languages, it follows them down dark alleys and beats them up and searches their pockets for loose grammar.

Tea Drinker

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Re: In-Law Stories - The good, the bad and the wacky
« Reply #470 on: July 01, 2016, 08:10:45 AM »
... "Apparently you didn't clean the toilet."  "What?  We did clean it!"  "Not the underside of the lid."  I spluttered "You have to be kidding me.  It wouldn't have occurred to me to do that, let alone a bunch of teenagers."

This always puzzles me. When I clean something, I clean -all- surfaces. Top, bottom, inside, outside, front, back.

I had to train my husband that it was important to wash the outside of the drinking glasses. But he didn't believe me until I pointed out that you get finger smudges there. He kept saying, "but the milk/soda only goes on the inside."

And I had to explain the physics of plates--that when water gets on the top of the plate where the food is, it will run over the rim and carry with it any oil from the food. And the oil will cling.

Pointing to the smeary spots wasn't enough--he wouldn't believe me until i pointed all these things out.

But I kept thinking, "What part of 'wash the plate' sounds like 'wash the top part of the plate'?

When I dust the end table, I dust sides and legs as well as top.

Never mind finger smudges, it's important to wash the outside of the drinking glasses because your lips touch the outside of the rim, and someone else might use it next.

On the other hand, there's a plausible "what counts as all surfaces?" question sometimes. The underside of plates needs washing, but I wouldn't think to dust the underside of a desk or chair, and don't really wash the outside and bottom of a flower vase, just rinse them at the end when I wash the inside.
Any advice that requires the use of a time machine may safely be ignored.

daen

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Re: In-Law Stories - The good, the bad and the wacky
« Reply #471 on: July 01, 2016, 08:15:42 AM »
My family shortened my name when I was young, but at work I go by my full name. Think "Francine" but my family calls me "Frannie".

My sister was hired here, and now half of the people here call me by the shortened version of my name.  :-(  I really dislike it.
Tangent to do with workplace and relatives, but not in-laws:

I had a million nicknames as a child. Most of them have vanished, and I go by full name or first syllable (which sounds like a full name). One relative, however, has never shaken the habit of calling me by a diminutive of a diminutive, which is extremely cutesy. It's along the lines of Alexandra or Al for most cases, while my relative would use Lexi-pie. I'm not going to change what said relative calls me at this stage, so I roll with it. But one day she came to my work place and asked my supervisor if "Lexi-pie" was in.  :o

Fortunately, neither supervisors nor co-workers picked up on it. And my relative mostly calls me Lexi now, which is an improvement.
 

Elisabunny

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Re: In-Law Stories - The good, the bad and the wacky
« Reply #472 on: July 01, 2016, 12:41:18 PM »
My family shortened my name when I was young, but at work I go by my full name. Think "Francine" but my family calls me "Frannie".

My sister was hired here, and now half of the people here call me by the shortened version of my name.  :-(  I really dislike it.

So say something.  You can even add "Families.  What can you do?" complete with eyeroll.
You must remember this: a ghoti is still a fish...

LadyDyani

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Re: In-Law Stories - The good, the bad and the wacky
« Reply #473 on: July 01, 2016, 01:14:26 PM »
My family shortened my name when I was young, but at work I go by my full name. Think "Francine" but my family calls me "Frannie".

My sister was hired here, and now half of the people here call me by the shortened version of my name.  :-(  I really dislike it.

So say something.  You can even add "Families.  What can you do?" complete with eyeroll.

I've said it several times over the past few years. Now they say "Frannie", I glare, they say "Oops, I meant Francine! *giggle*".

Fortunately the ones what do it are people that I can glare at.

My bosses are funny about it. Instead of shortening my name, they started calling my sister by her full name (she goes by "Chrissy"). So to them, she's "Christina" instead of "Chrissy".
English doesn't borrow from other languages, it follows them down dark alleys and beats them up and searches their pockets for loose grammar.

Allyson

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Re: In-Law Stories - The good, the bad and the wacky
« Reply #474 on: July 01, 2016, 02:11:17 PM »
I'm with you, Shalamar. It's so disheartening to spend a good long time cleaning something, miss one or two things, and have people act like you didn't clean it at all, so I'm sensitive to that kind of thing.

FauxFoodist

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Re: In-Law Stories - The good, the bad and the wacky
« Reply #475 on: July 01, 2016, 02:41:42 PM »
Oh, boy, the overcooked/undercooked veggie issue - my parents fight at least once a week about that.  Mum always says that Dad likes his veggies "overcooked"; he retorts that she likes them "raw", and never the twain shall meet.

I have a mother-in-law story ... my daughter and her friends stayed for a few days in MIL's cabin at the lake last week.  They're allowed to stay there for free; the only thing MIL asks is that the girls clean up after themselves.  Very fair, and so far, no problem.

The girls got back on Friday after having a great time.  MIL called yesterday.  I heard my husband say "Did the girls leave the cabin in a good state?  ... Oh?  Okay, I'll tell her."  When he hung up, Daughter said in distress "What did we do?  I thought we cleaned it really well!"  Husband said "Apparently you didn't clean the toilet."  "What?  We did clean it!"  "Not the underside of the lid."  I spluttered "You have to be kidding me.  It wouldn't have occurred to me to do that, let alone a bunch of teenagers."

Your MIL must be related to my grandmother.  I was trained early to clean the bathroom to "grandmom standard." Yes, that included the underside of the lid.   ::)

I am the complete opposite. I do wipe the underside of the lid.

I do, too.  Also, given that DD and friends got to stay there for free for a week and the *only* thing MIL asked is that they clean up after themselves then I see nothing wrong with MIL wanting them to clean according to her (MIL's) standards.  However, given that DD said she thought they cleaned it really well, I understand why she was distressed.  She'll know better for next time, but I don't think anyone was necessarily wrong here.

DH likes his veggies overcooked while I prefer they not be.  What I'll do is cook to the consistency I prefer, take out half for me, then I'll cook the rest to DH's preference.  I think DH gets this from his mom's side of the family because DH's aunt also overcooks veggies.  When she cooks green beans, she doesn't even break off the tips so there are pokey little tips on the overcooked green beans.

Sirius

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Re: In-Law Stories - The good, the bad and the wacky
« Reply #476 on: July 01, 2016, 03:04:35 PM »
I'm with you, Shalamar. It's so disheartening to spend a good long time cleaning something, miss one or two things, and have people act like you didn't clean it at all, so I'm sensitive to that kind of thing.

Tell me about it.  I'd be told to clean the bathroom.  So I'd go in, and do what I thought was a very thorough job...only to have my mother come up later and ask me, "When are you going to clean the bathroom?"  When I'd said that I already did, she could always find things I missed.  Sometimes they were things that would take two seconds, e.g. I forgot to put down a clean rug.  So I'd do it right then, but Mom would harp about that rug for the rest of the day.  My mom was a cool lady, but she had her moments.

Bert

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Re: In-Law Stories - The good, the bad and the wacky
« Reply #477 on: July 01, 2016, 05:26:58 PM »
I'm with you, Shalamar. It's so disheartening to spend a good long time cleaning something, miss one or two things, and have people act like you didn't clean it at all, so I'm sensitive to that kind of thing.

Tell me about it.  I'd be told to clean the bathroom.  So I'd go in, and do what I thought was a very thorough job...only to have my mother come up later and ask me, "When are you going to clean the bathroom?"  When I'd said that I already did, she could always find things I missed.  Sometimes they were things that would take two seconds, e.g. I forgot to put down a clean rug.  So I'd do it right then, but Mom would harp about that rug for the rest of the day.  My mom was a cool lady, but she had her moments.

I'm with you too.  I have a personal policy that if something is going to take me longer to tell a person about than it would take for me to just solve it, I chalk it up to having to live life, and just solve it myself.  Like cleaning the underside of the toilet seat.  Is it easier to mention it on the phone, get asked a question, and then answer that... or is it easier to just take a paper towel and clean the underside of the toilet seat?  I think some people are just generally and perhaps subconsciously uncomfortable with the idea of the toilet being used by different people at different times. 

Also, with things like this, I sometimes think that there may be a "last person to touch it other than me is at fault" way of thinking at work.     

becktheriddler

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Re: In-Law Stories - The good, the bad and the wacky
« Reply #478 on: July 02, 2016, 09:51:57 AM »
My ex MIL was okay, but she did have one funny habit. At Christmas, she would give us money in gift envelopes, and your name always written on it in quotations. "BecktheRiddler", as an example, as if these were pen names, and not our real names. And then, after we had opened them, we had to remove the contents and give her back the envelope, so that she could reuse them.
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