Author Topic: Still Here...The Evil Advice Columnist  (Read 1032 times)

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Lisbeth

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Still Here...The Evil Advice Columnist
« on: March 15, 2011, 01:32:28 PM »
That's right...pick up your quills and start writing.  I need to wreck some more keyboards.

Ta-ta!

MeanReader
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kitty-cat

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Re: Still Here...The Evil Advice Columnist
« Reply #1 on: March 15, 2011, 01:34:23 PM »
Dear MeanReader-

I've been in a one-upmanship contest with someone on here on the biggest e-hell story person. And they just won't back down! How can I get them to stop being such a meanie?

- archivedigger




NE Florida

Lisbeth

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Re: Still Here...The Evil Advice Columnist
« Reply #2 on: March 15, 2011, 01:36:57 PM »
Dear Achivedigger,

The only solution is to make yourself the subject of the biggest E-hell story person and let someone else post it on your behalf.

Ta-ta!

MeanReader
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Ms_Shell

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Re: Still Here...The Evil Advice Columnist
« Reply #3 on: March 15, 2011, 03:40:36 PM »
Dear MeanReader,

I'm throwing myself a baby shower in a few months.  The problem is, I don't like any of my guest's taste, so I'd rather they give me money for items and not presents.  I don't understand why my friends are all mad at me!  What can I do to get these jealous haters to stop bad-mouthing me?

-Baby Mama Drama 

"I've never been a millionaire, but I just know I'd be darling at it." - Dorothy Parker

Lisbeth

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Re: Still Here...The Evil Advice Columnist
« Reply #4 on: March 15, 2011, 03:52:45 PM »
Dear Baby Mama Drama,

Your friends are mad because you didn't express your preference in a poem.

You might write something like:

As you know
I'm on the go
And this is why
I'd like to try
To get some cash
And not rehash
Those awful gifts
That cause such rifts.
To write in prose
To ask for those
Coins and bills
Should not be hills
To die upon
And not go on.
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Poirot

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Re: Still Here...The Evil Advice Columnist
« Reply #5 on: March 15, 2011, 03:56:06 PM »
Dear Mean Reader,

I am getting married next month and my BIL's fiance wants to wear a green dress to my wedding! That will totally class with the orange in the flowers, and I told her to wear purple. Doesn't she know that day is all about meeeeeeeeeeeeee?

What should I do?

Zilla of the genus bridus
A spoon! A spoon! My kingdom for a case of #%^***** spoons!

Lisbeth

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Re: Still Here...The Evil Advice Columnist
« Reply #6 on: March 15, 2011, 03:58:43 PM »
Dear Zilla,

Well, you could always have your dress dyed fuchsia.

Ta-ta!

MeanReader
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Jolie_kitten

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Re: Still Here...The Evil Advice Columnist
« Reply #7 on: March 15, 2011, 04:26:22 PM »
Dear Baby Mama Drama,

Your friends are mad because you didn't express your preference in a poem.

You might write something like:

As you know
I'm on the go
And this is why
I'd like to try
To get some cash
And not rehash
Those awful gifts
That cause such rifts.
To write in prose
To ask for those
Coins and bills
Should not be hills
To die upon
And not go on.


Shall I add- on behalf of the guests, we have decided to offer you a very rich guy who can be used for fixing your computer and a former president of the USA, that we do not know what can be used for.
Also, you can have a handful of coins.
Enjoy your gift ;)
Where there is cake there is hope. And there is always cake ;)

Sterling

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Re: Still Here...The Evil Advice Columnist
« Reply #8 on: March 15, 2011, 04:58:30 PM »
Dear Mean Reader,

I don't know what to do about my selfish friend.  Once a week or so we make plans to go out for dinner and a movie.  But she is so SELFISH.  Last week we went to dinner and ordered a pizza.  The bill was $28.52 for the two of us.  I tossed in my $6 but she got offended.  She is married so she has 2 incomes and I only have 1.  She should have to pay the bigger share.  Now she says she doesn't want to go out anymore unless we each pay our own way.  It is not FAIR.  How can I make her see how selfish she is being?

Miss I only have $5
93 93/93

Lisbeth

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Re: Still Here...The Evil Advice Columnist
« Reply #9 on: March 15, 2011, 05:17:28 PM »
Dear Miss I only have $5,

You could latch on to a group of very rich friends (of the male persuasion) and tell her all about how they treat you to the very best.  A selfish person such as your friend won't have anyone like that in her life...which is why she latched on to you.

Ta-ta!

MeanReader
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happygrrl

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Re: Still Here...The Evil Advice Columnist
« Reply #10 on: March 16, 2011, 03:51:43 PM »
Dear Mean Reader,

My neighbor left a dresser on my deck along with a plate of bagels. Should I be distressed?

Ms. W.B Thing

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Re: Still Here...The Evil Advice Columnist
« Reply #11 on: March 16, 2011, 04:29:40 PM »
Dear MeanReader,

Recently, I was invited to a wedding, and came to the sad realization that nothing in my closet was quite 'right', so I went and got a new dress. However, since the last thing I actually need is another formal outfit, I took it back after the wedding (plus, this wasn't a close friend, so why should I be out the money?). Anyway, I told a friend about it and she told me I was wrong! I think she's wrong! I was careful not to spill anything on it, and told everyone who complimented my dress where it came from (the store should pay ME for free advertising ROFLMAO!!).

What can I say to her the next time this comes up?

Sincerely,

I'M NOT RICH (except in taste LOL)

Lisbeth

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Re: Still Here...The Evil Advice Columnist
« Reply #12 on: March 16, 2011, 04:48:27 PM »
Dear Ms. W.B Thing,

Is the light bulb on your deck still intact?

If not, get Poison Control to check the bagels and have the Bomb Squad make sure that there isn't an explosive waiting to go off before you move the dresser or open any of the drawers.  Otherwise, enjoy them with the local racists and send her a nice thank-you letter (I think it's called a bread-and-butter letter-or is that bagels and cream cheese?)

Ta-ta!

MeanReader
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Lisbeth

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Re: Still Here...The Evil Advice Columnist
« Reply #13 on: March 16, 2011, 04:51:15 PM »
Dear I'M NOT RICH (except in taste),

Tell your friend that from now on, you'll Trash the Dress.

Ta-ta!

MeanReader

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