General Etiquette > Family and Children

Ugh. It's hereditary, apparently!

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Sandi Papaya:
...or else, cousin June's, err, progeny are just learning by example. To wit:

The youngest of my grown cousins, my cousin Nat (also June's half-sister), pointed out to "Tommy Jr." (June's 4-year-old son) that my brother, Cousin Mikey the Cop,  would be at the Christmas Eve celebration with his 2 new babies.

Tommy's immediate answer? "I'm not sharing my toys with them."

To which Nat responded, "You don't have to worry, Tommy. They're just little babies. They don't know how to play."

He just answered, "I don't care. I don't want to share my toys."  ::)

Nice kid, that one. And June has to wonder why I keep my distance from her family?

Had I reacted like that to the news that I was having my new little cousins over to visit on Christmas, word of this would have definitely gotten back to my mom, and every present under the tree with my name on it would have gone straight back to Santa, to be replaced with a great big pile of nothing at all (or maybe one small, token gift - like the miniature Darth Tater I got, perhaps?) - so I would have a year to reflect on my behavior and figure out that Santa doesn't reward selfish little "I don't share" pigs.

If I didn't live in this house, I'd suggest sending that kid to live with my mom for a year. He'd come out of here straight as an arrow, knowing how to behave like an actual human being instead of a selfish little pig.

They do say the apple doesn't fall far from the tree. How very, very right they are.

Alida:
IIRC, a child's basic personality is set by the time they are 5.  It sounds as if the little one there is already well on the path to becoming a miniaturized version of how you describe your aunt.   That poor kid - he's been done such a disservice :(

sammycat:
Does darling Tommy Jr attend daycare, kindergarten (preschool) or anything?  If so, how does he get on there with regards to sharing?  My children and 10 and 6 and I'm pretty sure they were over this stage long before the age of 4, or at the very least that would never had been the first thing out of their mouths when a visitor was announced.  Come to think of it, I've always had to stop them dragging every single toy out of their rooms whenever we have visitors as they are so keen to share. LOL

Slartibartfast:
It is a stage most kids go through, and most DO grow out of it before age 5 . . . although children who don't have much contact with other kids or who have developmental disabilities may deal with it longer.  The chances are that this kid is a spoiled brat, though :-|  That's frustrating . . . wanna bet he needs his *own* car at age 16?

freakyfemme:
At that age, I wouldn't go the "take away everything" route, maybe an exchange like this would be more appropriate:

TOMMY:  "I don't want to share my toys with the babies!!!"

AUNT:  "Don't worry, they're too little to play anyway."

TOMMY: "I don't care, I'm not sharing!!!"

AUNT:  "Well, gee, Tommy, you know Ptraghvyss down the street, who has that really awesome trampoline you love to play on so much?  What if one day, you went to his house, but all of a sudden, he never let you jump on it with him again?  How would that make you feel?"

TOMMY: "That's not fair, Ptragvhyss HAS to let me jump on his trampoline!!!"

AUNT: "No, he doesn't *have* to, but he shares the trampoline with you because he's a nice boy.  So, now that you know how it'd feel, do you think you can be a nice boy too, and share your toys with the babies when they get old enough to enjoy them?"

TOMMY:  "Yeah, I guess I could do that.  Can I go to Ptraghvyss' house now?"


Edited to add:  That's how my parents taught me and my brother the concept of sharing, and it worked better than all the punishments in the world.

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