Dh faux pas, or just me being sensitive?

[Heavenly]

Christmas eve we went to church with my extended family.  Afterwards, Mr. Heavenly came up to me with a gleam in his eye and proceeded to laughingly tell me of something he had just experienced.

Evidently Mr. H. was walking with my BIL down the hall when a friend of BIL's stopped him and asked if that was his family sitting with him?  "Yes," BIL replied, "My MIL, FIL, SIL and her family."  To this BIL's friend said, "Obviously, you married the beauty in the family."  Mr. H. then stepped in and said, "I would have to disagree with that statement."  and then BIL introduced Mr. H. to friend as his BIL.  This friend mumbled some embarrassed apologies and left quickly.  Mr. H. thought this whole thing was hilarious and couldn't wait to tell me.

I wasn't amused.

In fact, it hurt my feeling pretty good.

This sister is a vivacious, talented, beautiful ex Miss Hometown USA who trains models and IS the acknowledged beauty in the family.  I know I don't compare in the looks category, so the comment wasn't particularly hurtful (it stung a bit because I don't think I'm a hag either).  What hurt my feelings is that Mr. H. would repeat the comment to me.  I really just didn't need to hear it.  KWIM?

Mr. H. normally is a very considerate, loving husband--so this threw me for a loop.

Am I just being sensitive or would this be an etiquette blunder?  I would like to bring this up with Mr. H if it's a blunder, but if I'm just being sensitive--I'll let it slide.

Thoughts? 

[scansons]

Sounds like he was just trying to gain some points by letting you know he stood up for you, and thinks you are the beauty of the family.  Although I will admit, awkwardly.  Men. 

[freakyfemme]

Your husband stuck his foot in his mouth, but he meant well....he thinks you're beautiful.  I can seriously count on ONE hand the number of times any guy has said that to me, except the loser guys who are just trying to get into my pants, lol.

[Alida]

He was trying to be sweet and let you know it, I think.  Give him points for trying

[Irish Clovers]

Sometimes men have the best intentions but end up sticking their foot in thier mouths.  My DH does it CONSTANTLY but I'm learning he really doesn't intentionally try to hurt my feelings.  He's just clueless.   

[hobish]

Count me as vote #5 ... Mr. H sounds like he was trying ... and in my book succeeded ... to be sweet. Give him a break ...    and a hug.

[EvilAlice]

I agree with the previous posters.  DH meant well but uh....

I used to have a boss who I was very close with.  We had an almost father/daughter relationship.  He annoyed the fire out of me sometimes but I really cared a lot about him and he thought the world of me.

One day I was wearing shorts (yay casual workplace) and he said to me "Have you lost some weight?"  Now, most women thrill to those words.  I wasn't even particularly heavy then but as usual would have welcomed losing maybe 5 lbs. 

But being an honest sort I said, "No, I really haven't lost any weight."

He says, "Hmm.  Well, your legs don't look as fat."

Good thing I'm not thin skinned.  I still laugh my head off about that and this was about 15 years ago.

Just put this in your "he's a bonehead, but I love him anyway" file.  He loves you but is really horrible at saying it.

[gjcva1]

he's clueless.  let it go.  i once cut 6 inches of hair off, and my DH didn't notice, just told me i looked different somehow but he couldn't quite put his finger on why i looked different. bless 'em all.

[Clara Bow]

He was sweet to stand up for you, and I think he wanted you to know that he thought you were beautiful no matter what. But I think that he should have left off telling you what that guy said.
The guy who made the comment was extremely rude.

[Heavenly]

OK...sliding this into the "move on" file.   

Thanks for the insight.   

[ptcruzinkim]

Christmas eve we went to church with my extended family.  Afterwards, Mr. Heavenly came up to me with a gleam in his eye and proceeded to laughingly tell me of something he had just experienced.

Evidently Mr. H. was walking with my BIL down the hall when a friend of BIL's stopped him and asked if that was his family sitting with him?  "Yes," BIL replied, "My MIL, FIL, SIL and her family."  To this BIL's friend said, "Obviously, you married the beauty in the family."  Mr. H. then stepped in and said, "I would have to disagree with that statement."  and then BIL introduced Mr. H. to friend as his BIL.  This friend mumbled some embarrassed apologies and left quickly.  Mr. H. thought this whole thing was hilarious and couldn't wait to tell me.

I wasn't amused.

In fact, it hurt my feeling pretty good.

This sister is a vivacious, talented, beautiful ex Miss Hometown USA who trains models and IS the acknowledged beauty in the family.  I know I don't compare in the looks category, so the comment wasn't particularly hurtful (it stung a bit because I don't think I'm a hag either).  What hurt my feelings is that Mr. H. would repeat the comment to me.  I really just didn't need to hear it.  KWIM?

Mr. H. normally is a very considerate, loving husband--so this threw me for a loop.

Am I just being sensitive or would this be an etiquette blunder?  I would like to bring this up with Mr. H if it's a blunder, but if I'm just being sensitive--I'll let it slide.

Thoughts? 

My thought is that when someone says something negative about someone else, you don't go up to that person who was pegged with the negative brush and repeat when the 1st guy said. I have *friends* who have pulled this with me before and I'm always wondering what the point of that was. I'd call it a blunder. No good comes from stuff like this, people get hurt feelings in the process.

Now had your DH heard something nice about you, then that's a different story. I would be upset too and probably not a little livid. 

[ptcruzinkim]

Christmas eve we went to church with my extended family.  Afterwards, Mr. Heavenly came up to me with a gleam in his eye and proceeded to laughingly tell me of something he had just experienced.

Evidently Mr. H. was walking with my BIL down the hall when a friend of BIL's stopped him and asked if that was his family sitting with him?  "Yes," BIL replied, "My MIL, FIL, SIL and her family."  To this BIL's friend said, "Obviously, you married the beauty in the family."  Mr. H. then stepped in and said, "I would have to disagree with that statement."  and then BIL introduced Mr. H. to friend as his BIL.  This friend mumbled some embarrassed apologies and left quickly.  Mr. H. thought this whole thing was hilarious and couldn't wait to tell me.

I wasn't amused.

In fact, it hurt my feeling pretty good.

This sister is a vivacious, talented, beautiful ex Miss Hometown USA who trains models and IS the acknowledged beauty in the family.  I know I don't compare in the looks category, so the comment wasn't particularly hurtful (it stung a bit because I don't think I'm a hag either).  What hurt my feelings is that Mr. H. would repeat the comment to me.  I really just didn't need to hear it.  KWIM?

Mr. H. normally is a very considerate, loving husband--so this threw me for a loop.

Am I just being sensitive or would this be an etiquette blunder?  I would like to bring this up with Mr. H if it's a blunder, but if I'm just being sensitive--I'll let it slide.

Thoughts? 

My thought is that when someone says something negative about someone else, you don't go up to that person who was pegged with the negative brush and repeat when the 1st guy said. I have *friends* who have pulled this with me before and I'm always wondering what the point of that was. I'd call it a blunder. No good comes from stuff like this, people get hurt feelings in the process.

Now had your DH heard something nice about you, then that's a different story. I would be upset too and probably not a little livid. 

One more thing, as the others have pointed out, perhaps your DH was trying to show you that he stood up for you but by the same token, why repeat something like that?

[willow08]

I agree with the other posters, he was just trying to show you that he stuck up for you. I don't think he meant any offense.

[Lunadiana75]

It sounds like his mind told him "I will tell my wife I stuck for her and that she is beautiful", but the reality of the situation came out all wrong.

[Balletmom]

The faux pas came from the man who made the original comment about marrying the beauty. What a stupid thing to say!

I think your husband was trying to defend you as well, but repeating it to you....sigh.

"Gosh, dear, I feel so much better now hearing that."