General Etiquette > Family and Children

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Irish Clovers:
Hello all!  I love this site!

Ok, here's my dilema.

I've been married to my DH for almost 4 months.  I absolutely LOVE his mother.  She'll be 80 this year (2007) and still goes out and plays bridge with her friends and goes to movies, etc.  However.........she drinks.  ALOT.  Never before 5:00pm and usually never when she's out but if she's at home it's Vodka on the rocks.  She calls in the evenings and gets very sentimental but slurrs her words alot.  Usually when I see that its her calling, I hand the phone to DH and he deals with it.  The other night she called my cell phone and was RIPPED!  She could barely speak and I was freakin' out.  DH got on the phone and spoke to her and managed to get her to say goodbye and hang up.  Now, to a point, she's 80 years old and can basically do what she wants but I'm concerned for her safety.  She lives alone.  DH just keeps saying "we don't talk about it" but she's going to get hurt or worse one of these days.  I thought about calling DH's oldest brother (he has 5 older brothers and none of them live here, she lives in the same city as us) and talking to him about maybe moving her to an assisted living facility but I don't want to overstep my bounds.  I'm not one for holding my tongue but it's a very touch subject with my husband and I don't want him to be upset.

Help!

ettacat:
Truthfully, I would stay out of it. I know some will disagree and that is all well and good. However, I think that talking to BIL, when you know how your DH handles it, is not going to get you anything, except a lot of trouble. Simply let them handle Mom.

I have a FIL who has health problems. I don't get involved. I would help if asked, of course, but no one would appreciate my opinion, so I keep it to myself.

MrsP81:
I second the PP and would stay out of it. I'm sure it is difficult but if your DH isn't willing to admit that there is a problem and if he doesn't want to deal with it then there isn't much you can do. I would make it very clear that you will not speak to her when she's been drinking.

gjcva1:
agreed.  if it bothers you to speak to her when she is drinking, then don't.  but it is the decision of her sons to help her to decide what to do.  they will have to deal with their mother.

Irish Clovers:
Ok, I'll stay out of it.   :-X

Thanks!!

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