Shoe Tying Issue Small Update p 90

[Lady Stein]

I work at a small private elementary school and recently, a few parents have approached my boss about their kids being unable to tie their shoes.  At my school, none of the Pre-K or kindergarten students can tie their shoes.  Also, majority of the 1st and 2nd grade students can't tie their shoes as well.  The parents think the school should be offering shoe tying classes or seminars for the kids.  My boss said that wasn't part of our curriculum and the students have to learn shoe tying skills at home/some other place.  The parents weren't happy about that, and I know one parent wants to talk with the principal about shoe tying lessons.

So ehellions, should shoe tying be taught at school or by parents?  Also, if the parents bring the subject up again, should my boss keep repeating "it's not part of the curriculum" or is there a more polite way to refuse them?

[WolfWay]

I'm baffled. Are these parents unable to teach their own children to tie their laces? Do they not see their children outside of school hours or weekends?

As for the second question: I'd go for the "It's not part of the curriculum" repeated ad nauseum.

[Calypso]

Oh, for the love of...there's something deeply wrong with our lives if parents don't have time to reach their children how to tie their shoes...

[tallone]

I seem to be noticing a trend in recent times with stories like this where parents and teachers are having problems sorting out who does what. I hope I don't offend any parents here but I really do feel for the teachers, they're there to teach english and maths not shoe lace tying. Nor are they supposed to be raising the kids for the parents.

And to be honest I can't wait to teach my kids to tie there shoes. How is that not another loving memory in the making?

[Perfect Circle]

It's definitely a job for the parents.

DD has just started pre-school. They teach the kids how to dress themselves. I'm quite surprised that this has to be taught by somene else. My daughter has been interested in doing it for ever and while tight buttons can sometimes be difficult, she can manage everything else. And so what if her outfit choices are sometimes a little eccentric? Who says you can't wear sunglasses, sun hat, fairy wings and your snowsuit at the sametime?  

[momto3daughters]

As a preschool teacher and parent... Parents need to teach their children to tie their own shoes. Im working on pulling up your pants, putting your shoes on, colors, abc, letter sounds, patterning, social skills with a class of up to 12 3 to 5 year olds, I cant focus on teaching shoe tying to 12 children all at once its not possible. Of course you provide toys and manipulatives that allow practice of lacing and tying but individually it wont work.

[hobish]

It's not possible with the 4-5 year olds? I remember at that age being taught something and then wanting to share it with all my friends.

I couldn't tie my shoes until i was in Kindergarden because i am left handed and my little brain couldn't just do it backwards even when my parents and teachers were trying to show me. It just didn't make sense and looked like strings in knots. My poor mom was in tears about it. How could the child read but not be able to do such a simple thing? Luckily the friend she was crying to was a lefty, and taught me how.

There was one of the letter people who taught shoe-tying in Kindergarden if i remember right. Mrs. F with the funky feet? I know it was in the curriculum somewhere, along with pressed board shoes with laces to play with. 

[Kess]

I agree with a PP that the line as to what is school's responsibility to teach and what is the parents' is getting blurred.  While some is lazy parents, some of it is the fault of schools (not saying your school, OP, just some I know of) that insist they know better than parents on some issues, which leads parents to assume the school will take over duties to go with those rights.  For example, several primary schools I know started monitoring lunch boxes for "healthy eating".  There was a big hullaballoo on another forum when this came out, with parents asserting that making sure their kids are fed properly is their job, but the schools seem to think otherwise.  The biggest problem was that the schools weren't doing it properly - one child was told her humous and vegetable sticks was unhealthy and not to bring it again!  Schools now assert the right to control when children should be in school (even if a parent wants to take them out for a once-in-a-lifetime learning opportunity), what they eat, how much exercise they should be doing, when they see the dentist, as well of course as what they wear and so on.  It's not surprising that some parents assume this means the school basically takes over parenting in other ways too.

I think, "It's not on the curriculum, I'm afraid." is perfectly polite, OP.  I'd perhaps with persistant ask-ers run down what DOES need including on the curriculum, and how it is therefore absolutely full with no space for added extras.

[cicero]

I'm baffled as well. but then, when DS was 2.5 and in pre-school/day care, he was one of the only kids who knew how to eat with a fork and knife, or when to use spoon and when to use fork. they actually didn't le tthe kids use forks or knives (safety) and DS got used ot eating e.v.e.r.y.t.h.i.n.g with a spoon...

anyway, i think it's a skill that parents should be teaching, along with how to dress, how to eat, how to blow your nose. the preschool/school can certainly reinforce the lessons, but not teach them.

[kherbert05]

The principal should introduce these people to the concept of parenting and tell them these cute little ornaments they have actually need to be cared for. S/he can use a clue by 4 upside the head. People like this make me want to require a license before being able to have a child. These kids will be pampered but still neglected when and where it counts like the tea cup poodle the Mom keeps in her purse. They are there to make the adult look good and shoved in a closet when not being used. God help them if they aren't the most popular kid in school - then they are useless for scoring social points.

[Carnation]

Would it be rude to ask who taught the parents?

[Bexx27]

Ridiculous. IMO school is for academics. Self-care skills, along with things like morality and lifestyle choices, should be the parents' responsibility. Haven't these people ever heard of velcro?

[Rosey]

Would it be rude to ask who taught the parents?

Ha! Perfect.

If I were talking to the parents, I think I would say, "I'm sorry for any misunderstanding, but we do have a set curriculum already in place. While we do handle some life skills issues, we typically draw the line at any activity that the child must complete before leaving their house in the morning, i.e. getting dressed, brushing hair/teeth, and tying shoes."

[Larrabee]

Ridiculous. IMO school is for academics. Self-care skills, along with things like morality and lifestyle choices, should be the parents' responsibility. Haven't these people ever heard of velcro?

That kind of approach fails the children who have unskilled or uninterested parents.

I definitely remember having a shoe-tying lesson when I was in reception class (aged 4-5) the teacher made it a lot of fun and the kids who already knew what to do helped the ones who didn't, there were little boards with pictures of shoes and lace holes, a book about a character who struggles to tie his shoes.  It wasn't such a terrible thing to spend an hour or two on, and it really helped some of the struggling kids.

[katycoo]

Dressing is something which is done at home before school.  Tying your shoes is part of getting dressed.