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Author Topic: You'll definitely get a divorce!!!  (Read 20048 times)

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Information_queen

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Re: You'll definitely get a divorce!!!
« Reply #30 on: April 21, 2011, 02:57:58 AM »
My MIL told us that if my husband didn't move out (he moved back home for school after 4 years on his own in the Marines) before we got married - a substantial amount of time before - then we would be divorced in 4 years.

She also told him I would divorce him because he:

- didn't load the dishwasher
- didn't eat his vegetables (for the record, they were nasty. I wouldn't eat them either)
- taking me out for ice cream when I was on a diet

Aside from the implied insult that I'm that superficial, I am perfectly capable of assessing my diet and deciding whether ice cream fits in on any given day.

Thankfully, she's really a reasonable woman and I think she was just being a little over-zealous, DH being the first of her children to be engaged and in a long-term relationship. She also had a bad divorce and I think was a little afraid of DH taking after his father. Fortunately, she stopped when DH sat her down and told her that her comments offended both of us.

Elfqueen13

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Re: You'll definitely get a divorce!!!
« Reply #31 on: April 21, 2011, 07:55:03 AM »
My MIL told us that if my husband didn't move out (he moved back home for school after 4 years on his own in the Marines) before we got married - a substantial amount of time before - then we would be divorced in 4 years.

She also told him I would divorce him because he:

- didn't load the dishwasher
- didn't eat his vegetables (for the record, they were nasty. I wouldn't eat them either)
- taking me out for ice cream when I was on a diet

Aside from the implied insult that I'm that superficial, I am perfectly capable of assessing my diet and deciding whether ice cream fits in on any given day.

Thankfully, she's really a reasonable woman and I think she was just being a little over-zealous, DH being the first of her children to be engaged and in a long-term relationship. She also had a bad divorce and I think was a little afraid of DH taking after his father. Fortunately, she stopped when DH sat her down and told her that her comments offended both of us.

Sounds a bit like my current MiL.  She likes me, she really does but she spent the first year or so of my relationship with my husband convinced that I was a nice girl who was going to get my heart broken because her son was incapable of getting close to anyone.  She was completely wrong on all counts but in her head my husband is "just like his father" (who is now on wife #3 and has a number of children with an assortment of women).
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BeagleMommy

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Re: You'll definitely get a divorce!!!
« Reply #32 on: April 21, 2011, 11:24:25 AM »
OP, your MIL sounds like what my dad would call "a piece of work".  Good for you for not engaging the drama llama.

mabelle

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Re: You'll definitely get a divorce!!!
« Reply #33 on: June 28, 2011, 01:22:43 PM »
Studies - for the curious. And for what it's worth, DH & I lived in sin for 3 years and have been married for 6 thus far. ;)

http://www.ewtn.com/library/ISSUES/zcohabit.htm from Canada
http://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/pii/S0893320009600258 from the University of Denver - more information than abstract at http://www.lifesitenews.com/news/archive/ldn/2009/jul/09071502

and
http://www.leaderu.com/critical/cohabitation-socio.html


rashea

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Re: You'll definitely get a divorce!!!
« Reply #34 on: June 28, 2011, 03:55:18 PM »
I started a spin off for the living together before marriage thing:

http://www.etiquettehell.com/smf/index.php?topic=98060.new#new
"Manners change, principles don't. It's about treating people with consideration, respect and honesty." Peter Post

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Sirius

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Re: You'll definitely get a divorce!!!
« Reply #35 on: July 08, 2011, 04:08:28 PM »
I had someone say the same thing to me, e.g. If you don't live together before you get married you'll end up divorced.  We just celebrated 13 years married.  I lost track of the person who said that to me, but they were divorced when they said it.

Nora

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Re: You'll definitely get a divorce!!!
« Reply #36 on: July 14, 2011, 08:30:06 AM »
I just realized the only good thing to being related to highly religious sect-followers: they could not even begin to fathom us ever getting a divorce!

Wait, there's another one. We only have to shop for half the Christmas/birthday presents.
Just because someone is offended that does not mean they are in the right.

stkatie00

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Re: You'll definitely get a divorce!!!
« Reply #37 on: July 14, 2011, 09:00:31 AM »
I can't believe people actually say things like that! Well, I can, but I don't understand how they think it's at all productive. What hapowned to not saying anything if you can't say something nice?

As a nice counterpoint (and how it should be done, IMO): my FIL had concerns when DH and I got engaged. He could see some similarities between our relationship and the one he and my MIL had at the time they got engaged (they divorced when DH was 12). So he sat my DH down, discussed his concerns, and was satisfied at the answers he received. He's been fully supportive since then. We're coming up on 6 years of marriage, and are expecting our first 2 children early next year.

SamiHami

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Re: You'll definitely get a divorce!!!
« Reply #38 on: July 14, 2011, 10:19:07 AM »
I can't believe people actually say things like that! Well, I can, but I don't understand how they think it's at all productive. What hapowned to not saying anything if you can't say something nice?

As a nice counterpoint (and how it should be done, IMO): my FIL had concerns when DH and I got engaged. He could see some similarities between our relationship and the one he and my MIL had at the time they got engaged (they divorced when DH was 12). So he sat my DH down, discussed his concerns, and was satisfied at the answers he received. He's been fully supportive since then. We're coming up on 6 years of marriage, and are expecting our first 2 children early next year.

Yeah, that's the difference. Your FIL was acting out of concern; it sounds like he was trying to be genuinely helpful. There is no question that D was simply trying to be hurtful.

What have you got? Is it food? Is it for me? I want it whatever it is!

Lauds

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Re: You'll definitely get a divorce!!!
« Reply #39 on: August 05, 2011, 09:01:54 PM »
My parents told me that when they took their parents (at the same time) out to announce their engagement, my father's mother pointed to her own engagement ring and said she would give it to whoever [my dad] married. Grandma died two years ago, in the same week my parents celebrated their twenty-sixth anniversary. Mum never did see that ring!

That sort of attitude was the reason my father had a rather strained relationship with his mother. I think the only reason this didn't really bleed over into the relationship my sister and I had with Grandma was that we left England when I was three. Distance can vastly improve a relationship!

SuperMartianRobotGirl

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Re: You'll definitely get a divorce!!!
« Reply #40 on: August 12, 2011, 06:38:54 PM »
My husband and I didn't know each other that long before we got married.  We just knew it was right really quickly, and getting married would solve some health insurance problems.  Lots of people said we'd probably get married, and I knew at the time they were wrong, but OTOH it wasn't crazy for them to think marrying someone you have only known a few weeks because of health insurance problems was a potential future divorce scenario.  My husband and I knew it was just a matter of time anyway, and we might as well solve the insurance problem rather than wait.  Anyway, I think it's sometimes reasonable to THINK, as in my case, but never reasonable to tell a happy couple.  I guess maybe you could take your loved on aside and warn them if you were really worried.  I mean, sometimes the fear is justified, you know?  I wish I'd said something to my brother before he married ex-SIL, because he said after the divorce if we'd told him our worries he didn't think he would have gotten married.

(Married 13 years and it's been really easy and great - not even a bump in the road so far, btw.)