Prince William: No wedding ring

[Clara Bow]

I think it's a non-issue. I stopped wearing my wedding rings when I got pregnant nine years ago and never picked the habit back up. In my current job wedding rings are a giant bacteria trap anyway. My marriage is not in my ring....it's in my life with my husband and how I treat him is more important than wearing a piece of jewelry.

[Kendo_Bunny]

I suppose I'm a little confused, he gave Kate an engagement ring (and one with a lot of sentimental value and history) so he seems to buy into the idea of the ring as a symbol of commitment/connection etc.  Why does he not feel that way about his wedding ring?

Personally, I hate wearing rings. I can manage it for a few hours for a costume, but they make me crazy. I fiddle with them, my skin itches under them, they fall off when it's cold and squeeze when it's hot, and I don't like the way they look on my fingers. I wore two rings my ex gave me for two years, until we broke up, but even doing that for him, I still hated wearing them. Rings can be a symbol of commitment and connection, but to people who hate wearing them, they are just a flat-out nuisance. I've said to every guy I've been serious with that I never, ever want an engagement ring.

So if Kate is wearing her ring, and will wear her wedding ring, she probably doesn't hate rings. If she had, I'm sure he would have tried to find an alternative that pleased her, but I don't think it's a giant red flag if a partner doesn't want wear something that makes them crazy.

[Dindrane]

Ultimately, whether or not either a man or a woman wears a wedding ring is only the business of their spouse.

Personally, I dislike the tradition of single-ring ceremonies.  I dislike it pretty intensely, actually.  So when I got married, I flat-out insisted that my husband needed to have a ring.  I have not (and will not) insist that he wear it.  But it's important to me that he has one.

As it happens, his ring is just a smidge too small, and we haven't gotten around to resizing it yet.  So we've been married over a month and he hasn't really worn it at all.   When it fits him (and thus is comfortable), I am hoping that he will at least give wearing it a shot, but if he really dislikes it, I wouldn't push the issue.

[Larrabee]

I think its highly likely that nearly all men who wear wedding rings take a while to adjust to them though, most young men don't wear rings and most men never wear any ring except their wedding ring.  Some choose to keep at it until they get used to it and some don't.

I understand this is a personal thing and down to each individual couple, but if I ever get married, I'm going to expect my hypothetical husband to suck it up and at least take some time to try and get used to wearing a ring everyday.

I think people's opinions on this are influenced by their parents/families.  I've always loved the fact that my dad is so committed to wearing his wedding ring, its very sweet.  My mum is actually a bit flaky with hers and has lost a few over the years!

[Alida]

My father doesn't wear his wedding ring. He's a contractor who also likes having a full set of fingers on each hand. He and Mom just celebrated their 43rd anniversary.

My ex wore his every single day, even while he was cheating on me.

The ring is a physical symbol, nothing more. If both parties are fine with the prince not wearing his ring, that's all that matters (to them, the rest of us can still wonder ).

[Larrabee]

My father doesn't wear his wedding ring. He's a contractor who also likes having a full set of fingers on each hand. He and Mom just celebrated their 43rd anniversary.

My ex wore his every single day, even while he was cheating on me.

The ring is a physical symbol, nothing more. If both parties are fine with the prince not wearing his ring, that's all that matters (to them, the rest of us can still wonder ).

I don't think its fair to dismiss it though, its really important to some people. 

[Alida]

Oh, I'm not dismissing it at all. It was very important to me. But a symbol is not the total of the commitment. That's something even more.

[TamJamB]

Just out of curiosity -- do those of you who feel that a woman ought to be able to veto her husband's choice not to wear a wedding ring also think that a man ought to be able to veto his wife's choice to keep her birth name after marriage? 

Personally I think that both these decisions should rest in the end with the person who wears the ring or bears the name; even if their partner would prefer the opposite choice.

[blue2000]

I think if it is a dealbreaker for you, it is something you discuss before the wedding. If someone insists their husband needs to wear a ring, and the husband is adamant that he won't, it is going to end badly, no matter who wins.

[TeamBhakta]

I don't wear rings. I'm not a big jewelry person. I can't stand having something on my fingers constantly. Plus, the few times I tried wearing rings, I'd leave them at home, wash my hands in a public bathroom and suddenly go "OH NO, I LOST MY RINGS, I LOST MY -- you dope, you put them away for safe keeping at home."   My boyfriend is under instructions not to buy me rings. If he was going to cheat on me, a ring certainly wouldn't prevent that. I trust him and know he can say "No, thank you, I'm with someone" without a chunk of gold from Zales to prompt him.  

*ETA: He does messy construction work anyway. So I wouldn't expect him to wear a ring for that reason, too.

Regarding her ring, can you imagine the noise that would have been made if they had chosen to get engaged, and she never had and never planned to wear an engagement ring?  Ho boy, I can imagine the headlines now - all accusing him of being all sorts of things.

Huh?  I don't get it!  If a woman doesn't wear an engagement ring what does her fiance get accused of?  

Did you mean accusing her?  I can see that!

I'm not LEMon, but I'd imagine headlines insinuating that either William is too cheap/doesn't care enough to buy a ring or that the family doesn't trust a commoner with family jewels, etc.

As far as the issue here, I agree it's completely between them.  I will admit that I love the idea of a wedding ring on my (hypothetical) husband, and I'd be disappointed if he didn't want one at all ever...but that's my thing and I'm sure there'd be some middle ground that made us both happy if I end up wearing a guy who doesn't like rings.  If Kate's cool with it, that's all that matters.

What exactly is the middle ground, though ? (aside from "it's on my finger" or "it won't be on my finger") I don't mean that in a snarky way, I'm genuinely curious

[Larrabee]

Just as an aside, all these married men working in construction who don't like the feel of a ring aren't making life any easier for us single girls!

First thing I do if I meet or see a guy I like?  Check for a wedding ring.  I wonder how much time I've wasted trying to be understatedly charming to married men...

[Dindrane]

I think one reasonable "middle ground" is the compromise I reached with my husband (who has never been much of a jewelry wearer, and isn't all that enthused at the idea of wearing a ring).  He has a wedding ring.  He has agreed, because it matters to me, to try wearing it for a little while.  I have agreed, because I love him, that if he finds it too uncomfortable he is more than free to stop wearing it and just keep it somewhere safe.

In the end, it's his finger, and I really ought not to try to make him wear a ring.  But having the ring (even if he doesn't wear it) satisfies a pretty significant chunk of what I find important surrounding wedding rings (i.e. symbol of our committments to each other -- specifically, for his ring, mine to him).

[MaggieB]

Again, this is all hypothetical for me at this point because I'm not planning to marry anyone at this point.  But when I wrote that I was thinking along the same lines as Dindrane.  I'd want him to have a ring for the ceremony at least.  And maybe break it out for special occasions.  But if my future husband really doesn't like rings and doesn't want to wear one every day,that would not be a huge deal to me.  I'd just like one to exist and to be worn on the occasions he's OK with even if they're very rare.  If that makes sense.

[DoubleTrouble]

I agree, if Kate doesn't mind then who cares? Neither of my parents wear a ring & I'll be honest I've only seen my Mom's wedding ring once or twice in my life (she developed an allergy to the metal). DH wears his ring all the time but I rarely do anymore with two toddlers to chase after, I rather keep my antique ring in one piece!

Don't care. Honestly I'm somewhat surprised so many men wear wedding rings when you consider the fact that men rarely wear rings (or other jewelry) before they're married. I would understand if they thought it was uncomfortable and off putting. But my husband probably wears his ring more often than I wear mine (stupid freakishly small fingers that shrink in the winter).

Me too! And then in summer they swell, one time I seriously freaked out because I could not get the rings off, even with some grease. Took me holding ice over my finger & rings & tons of extra grease to get the suckers off. Not a fun day I'll tell you.

[Larrabee]

Just out of curiosity -- do those of you who feel that a woman ought to be able to veto her husband's choice not to wear a wedding ring also think that a man ought to be able to veto his wife's choice to keep her birth name after marriage? 

Personally I think that both these decisions should rest in the end with the person who wears the ring or bears the name; even if their partner would prefer the opposite choice.

I don't think anybody should be vetoing anything, if that was aimed at me then I'm not sure where the word veto came from!

I believe these are things that need to be discussed and agreed upon before a marriage takes place.

A man who isn't completely onboard with my decision to keep my name after marriage and agrees with my reasoning as to why isn't one I'd be marrying. 

Equally, I expect that long before an actual wedding day my hypothetical future husband and I would have had several conversations about the symbolism and cultural weight of various rings and come to an agreement.