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Author Topic: Spinsters' Club Support Thread  (Read 101780 times)

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siamesecat2965

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Re: Spinsters' Club Support Thread
« Reply #870 on: February 20, 2015, 02:44:00 PM »
Being the overweight girl who was one of the smartest in the room didn't make for great dating material in high school and university.  But now I'm discovering that there a number of men who prefer heavier, smart girls.  Not a lot but some.  I was really discouraged there for a couple weeks after the guy blew me off but this week, it's turning around.  And being convinced it was him and not me helped a lot.

I hear you. I wasn't heavy in HS but then was. Working on that, and its doing wonders for my confidence! hahahahahaha. I'm also at the point where i don't give a "rat's behind" what anyone else thinks of me. Take me as i am, or get lost :)

Outdoor Girl

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Re: Spinsters' Club Support Thread
« Reply #871 on: February 20, 2015, 02:54:47 PM »
That's part of it, too.  You want me?  You get aallll of me, warts and all.  I might not throw them all at you on the first date but by the third, you're going to know all you need to know about me to make a decision as to whether we're moving forward or not.

A big one for me is casual cursing, with the exception of the f-bomb.  It's the way I talk, casually.  I grew up with it and it continues because a lot of my friends are blue collar, for lack of a better term.  So if it is going to bother you that I say dam and hell?  Yeah, we're not going to get along long term because that's just ingrained.  I control it in 'polite' company but day to day?  It's a lot of effort.  Or social drinking.  In my family, alcohol was always around.  As kids, my brother and I started having wine with dinner, if my parents were having it, at a fairly young age.  So it's normal to have a beer when you come in from yard work, a glass of wine with dinner if we're all together and the same with a night cap.  If you aren't OK with that, we're not going to be a good match.  I might not drink at home by myself very much but when I'm with my family?  We drink.  Nobody gets drunk.  Tipsy maybe but not drunk.

So on a first date, if it is an appropriate time of day, I order a beer or a glass of wine with my meal.  And usually drop a curse word or two at an appropriate place in the conversation.  Weeds out the incompatibles in a hurry.  I know you're supposed to be on your best behaviour for a first date but I'd rather not waste time on someone who is going to be offended by my blue collar roots.
After cleaning out my Dad's house, I have this advice:  If you haven't used it in a year, throw it out!!!!.
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siamesecat2965

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Re: Spinsters' Club Support Thread
« Reply #872 on: February 20, 2015, 03:18:26 PM »
That's part of it, too.  You want me?  You get aallll of me, warts and all.  I might not throw them all at you on the first date but by the third, you're going to know all you need to know about me to make a decision as to whether we're moving forward or not.

A big one for me is casual cursing, with the exception of the f-bomb.  It's the way I talk, casually.  I grew up with it and it continues because a lot of my friends are blue collar, for lack of a better term.  So if it is going to bother you that I say dam and hell?  Yeah, we're not going to get along long term because that's just ingrained.  I control it in 'polite' company but day to day?  It's a lot of effort.  Or social drinking.  In my family, alcohol was always around.  As kids, my brother and I started having wine with dinner, if my parents were having it, at a fairly young age.  So it's normal to have a beer when you come in from yard work, a glass of wine with dinner if we're all together and the same with a night cap.  If you aren't OK with that, we're not going to be a good match.  I might not drink at home by myself very much but when I'm with my family?  We drink.  Nobody gets drunk.  Tipsy maybe but not drunk.

So on a first date, if it is an appropriate time of day, I order a beer or a glass of wine with my meal.  And usually drop a curse word or two at an appropriate place in the conversation.  Weeds out the incompatibles in a hurry.  I know you're supposed to be on your best behaviour for a first date but I'd rather not waste time on someone who is going to be offended by my blue collar roots.

Hehehe. Aside from the beer, which I don't care for, me too. I posted something on FB; a pic of a tee shirt that said "I'm a classy, intelligent well-education woman who says the f-bomb a lot" only it used the actual word. My one friend commented "that is totally you"

My mom says I have no filter. and sadly, sometimes, I don't. But i can behave when I need to.

Funniest thing ever; i was taking a friend's mom home from a party her family had, since she lives near me, and not my friend. Her mom is very prim and proper, and someone did something stupid, and i dropped the fbomb. Oops. I was so embarassed but she laughed so it was ok.

But good luck with your meeting! I'll keep my fingers crossed for yoU!

Snooks

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Re: Spinsters' Club Support Thread
« Reply #873 on: February 20, 2015, 04:00:31 PM »
Historical note: I was doing some family history work this weekend and came across some original marriage documents from England. Man, they sure had a lot of marriage paperwork in the 1800s! I usually found at least three documents attesting to each marriage. Anyway, the groom was usually listed as a "bachelor" and the bride as a "spinster." The first time I saw that I was like, "Huh? She was only 21!" Then I realized that was just the term they used for any woman who hadn't been married before. So at some point it must not have had the connotation of "too old to be unmarried."

My parents got married in the 1970s and I'm fairly sure my mum is listed as a spinster.  My more recent (<10 years) just says single for both of us.

greencat

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Re: Spinsters' Club Support Thread
« Reply #874 on: February 20, 2015, 05:07:34 PM »
After giving up on online dating (it's a scary place!), meetup groups (moderate success, but nothing serious) and then dating my way through the few guys in my social circle I was interested in, I'd kind of given up.  However, I went to a holiday party, and hit it off pretty well with one of the other attendees.  Not only have we both known the host of the party for a long time, but we have several other un-connected mutual friends - all of whom speak well of him.  We went out to some group outings together during January and the beginning of this month, and we went out on an actual date last weekend - yes, Valentine's weekend.  We're going out again this weekend - hopefully things will continue going well!

Outdoor Girl

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Re: Spinsters' Club Support Thread
« Reply #875 on: February 20, 2015, 06:38:54 PM »
Cool!  That is really how I'd prefer to meet someone but it just hasn't happened.  I've be trying that for 20 years.  So on-line it is.
After cleaning out my Dad's house, I have this advice:  If you haven't used it in a year, throw it out!!!!.
Ontario

siamesecat2965

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Re: Spinsters' Club Support Thread
« Reply #876 on: February 20, 2015, 07:56:01 PM »
Cool!  That is really how I'd prefer to meet someone but it just hasn't happened.  I've be trying that for 20 years.  So on-line it is.

Me too. All my friends are younger than I am, and don't know any nice single guys

greencat

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Re: Spinsters' Club Support Thread
« Reply #877 on: February 21, 2015, 01:10:07 AM »
Cool!  That is really how I'd prefer to meet someone but it just hasn't happened.  I've be trying that for 20 years.  So on-line it is.

Me too. All my friends are younger than I am, and don't know any nice single guys

I had the opposite problem where most of my friends were older, to the point where the single guys they did know weren't in my age range of interest.  I typically dated guys who were close to my age, and if there was a significant gap, the guy was the younger one.

This guy is older, but not so much older that it bothers me, although a few years ago, it would have.

Outdoor Girl

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Re: Spinsters' Club Support Thread
« Reply #878 on: February 21, 2015, 09:29:21 AM »
I find that a lot of men my own age or just a little older seem so much older than me.  So the range I look at runs from about 38 to 50 - I'm 46.  But there aren't a lot of men who are OK with the woman being older than they are.

Based on averages, women live longer than men.  We're supposed to go for younger!  LOL

My Aunt was 6 years older than her husband and my Mom was 4 years older than my Dad.  My brother is 6 years younger than my stbxSIL.  So it's a bit of a family tradition.

My current city friends are all a lot younger than I am so they're no help in introducing me to anyone.  Unless the youngest ones have single fathers...
After cleaning out my Dad's house, I have this advice:  If you haven't used it in a year, throw it out!!!!.
Ontario

Outdoor Girl

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Re: Spinsters' Club Support Thread
« Reply #879 on: February 21, 2015, 08:32:50 PM »
So my lunch date lasted 6.5 hours...  Lunch was good, we went on a bit of a hike on snowshoes.  I wasn't really sure but he was interested in doing something else so I suggested going back into town to get a hot drink.  And we sat in the coffee shop for almost 3 hours and another 1/2 hour in my car.

I'm not ready to delete my on-line profile but there will be a second date and we'll see how it goes.
After cleaning out my Dad's house, I have this advice:  If you haven't used it in a year, throw it out!!!!.
Ontario

Nikko-chan

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Re: Spinsters' Club Support Thread
« Reply #880 on: February 21, 2015, 09:27:57 PM »
So my lunch date lasted 6.5 hours...  Lunch was good, we went on a bit of a hike on snowshoes.  I wasn't really sure but he was interested in doing something else so I suggested going back into town to get a hot drink.  And we sat in the coffee shop for almost 3 hours and another 1/2 hour in my car.

I'm not ready to delete my on-line profile but there will be a second date and we'll see how it goes.

Oh that is awesome outdoor girl!

HannahGrace

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Re: Spinsters' Club Support Thread
« Reply #881 on: February 21, 2015, 09:37:36 PM »
So my lunch date lasted 6.5 hours...  Lunch was good, we went on a bit of a hike on snowshoes.  I wasn't really sure but he was interested in doing something else so I suggested going back into town to get a hot drink.  And we sat in the coffee shop for almost 3 hours and another 1/2 hour in my car.

I'm not ready to delete my on-line profile but there will be a second date and we'll see how it goes.

That sounds great!  Also I support your inclination toward slightly younger men... I ended up marrying someone 10 years younger :)