How to tell people you're full?

[RuneGuardian]

Today my mom, her boyfriend and I went shopping and then to a lovely Chinese buffet. I was not feeling extraordinarily hungry, but I still ate something and sort of wish I had more of an appetite because the food was wonderful. Anyway, as soon as I finished what was on my plate, I sat back to relax and let the food settle. My mom's boyfriend, who was paying for the dinners, told me for about ten minutes straight to go back up and get more to eat. Not in a mean way, mind you...just telling me. I explained each time that I was very full from what I had eaten and that I did not want to overeat, but it still did not sink in. Eventually I went back up and grabbed some tiny pastry to shut him up, and after I ate it I felt even more sick because I was already feeling bloated.

I really did appreciate him treating us to dinner and I'm sure it was not entirely cheap for us all to eat, but is there any way I can politely remind him and anyone else who ever gives me a hard time that I'm full? Buffets are all you can eat - is it so horrible that all I can eat is a plateful?

[Cyndi]

"Thanks, but I've had quite enough. How about I put some in a doggie bag for later?"

I hate it when people demand that I eat. I'm very skinny so I get this very often and it's really embarrassing to have more than I can eat piled on my plate. Once, at a pot luck party, I sent someone to get me a little of one thing on my plate(ocra) and he came back with the ocra I wanted as well as pasta, grapes, chicken and a huge pile of macaroni. I forced myself to eat it all and then spent the rest of that party throwing up.

Don't make that mistake. Just say "thanks, but no thanks." and leave it at that. Besides, it's YOUR stomach.

[Clara Bow]

"No thank you, I really am full and I don't want to be miserable for the rest of the day."
My stepmother in law is one of those who will feed you until you pop. Even when you tell her you're not hungry, she puts the food in front of you. I used to nibble at it to keep from appearing rude until I had an epiphany. It was rude of her to try to force me to eat, therefore me politely not eating was not really rude at all.

[Rose2Bear]

I'm like this too sometimes, especially when I am not at home. For some reason when I am at home I eat more, but when I'm out in the real world, I think my fear of getting sick or overfull away from my house makes me so nervous that I try not to stuff myself silly.

Just the other day at a relatives house they kept trying to offer me more food and desserts just becasue there were so many options. While I didn't want to appear rude, I also didn't want to eat to the point where I was uncomfortable/got sick for my hour drive back home. So I simply said "it looks really delicious, but I really am full, but thank you very much anyways" and that was that. 

If anyone can't take a hint after repeating that maybe two or three times (sometimes they think you're just saying that to look polite or modest), then you have to start being more firm by simply saying "No thank you" and leave it at that.

[ClaireC79]

If it's that she feels that on a buffet you should have more than one plate then I'd only put a tiny amount on the plate and go back up and get a second plateful - you don't eat any more than you would have, yet she feels better that you've had two platefuls (I tend to do it with Chinese buffets for the simple reason that the food is still hot then by the time I finish)

Otherwise all you can do is repeat that you really are full.  In some ways going up and getting a pastry is probably setting yourself up for a fall in future - she now feels that you weren't completely full, you were just being polite saying you were - and she was right

[gadget--gal]

This is one of my biggest pet peeves.    and it happens to me a lot when I got visit the Old country. just for some information, I was born in the UK but my parents are from a culture where it's sacrilege to say no to an elder, (so far as they're not abusing you, of course). It's also a culture where special dietary requirements are almost unheard of.  

When we go and visit people, (regardless of the time of day) they want us to eat and by 'eat' they mean 'feast yourself'. Never mind if your full or you're not hungry, they just say "eat it for me" or "you can go back your way of eating when you go home"    and then for ply you with seconds and thirds. Sometimes I can pretend to eat by moving things around my plate though it's not possible to do this with certain dishes. Once or twice I've felt humiliated by having to eat food I really don't like because I was much younger at the time. Especially when other people are watching and snickering. I am considering cutting a few people off because of this.

[ImperfctMe]

When I was dating a Korean-American guy years ago, I learned that if you drink all of what's in your glass, the host will keep refilling it. Whereas if you leave it half-full, they stop. I think the best way to stop people whose cultural mores dictate that they force you to eat more than you are comfortable with is to just leave food on your plate/drink in your glass and respond, "I'll get some more as soon as I'm done with this delicious spread!" Sometimes this is what they need - "no" is not an acceptable answer to them for whatever reason.

[willow2483]

Was he maybe trying to prolong the time you all were spending together?  In case of a buffet, you could say, "I couldn't possibly eat another bite, but I'd be happy to walk up with you so we can continue our chat?"

I also usually pull the putting one plate's worth of food on two plates, so I can go up twice, so you might want to try that.

If it's a regular restaurant, I always eat half and take the rest home for lunch the next day.  If anyone says anything, I smile and say, "This lasagna/sandwich/etc will be perfect for lunch tomorrow!" True, and I get the chance to enjoy it twice, without saying you are too full.

[Venus193]

I became a type 2 diabetic by overeating and inconsistent exercise, so those people who know this don't try to get me to overeat.  Anyone else gets a "No, thanks; I don't want to be in pain later."

[freakyfemme]

First time:  "No thanks, I've had enough food for now.  It was really good, though."  (emphasis on the last part if the person who cooked it is within earshot).

Second time:  "Yes, it was really good, but I really am full."

Third time:  "No really, I'm afraid I'll make myself sick if I eat any more."

[Suze]

fourth time: throw up on their shoe --- I told you I'd get sick

(Just kidding)

[Lunadiana75]

Heehee, when you find out, let me know.  Romania has no concept of "full". especially the sweet little Bunica (Grandmother) who wants to feed her "fete americanii" (American Girl).  I have stuffed myself stupidmore times than I can count in order not to offend people. Then they bring on the tuica, it's basically Romanian moonshine.

[Lisbeth]

I think the first time, I'd say, "No thanks, it was so good that I overate."

After that, I'd say, "I'm sorry, I already said no.  I'm full.  Please respect that."  Lather, rinse, repeat.

[Hawkwatcher]

fourth time: throw up on their shoe --- I told you I'd get sick

(Just kidding)

Well, that would be a learning experience.

I think that once someone says that he or she is full, then the polite thing to do is drop the subject.  I really think that it is quite controlling to try to force people to eat things they do not want to eat.

[RuneGuardian]

Sometimes I wonder if people try to convince me to eat more than what I'm comfortable with because I'm overweight. I used to be a normal weight, then I put on more than a few pounds after starting college, and I've definitely gotten bigger. Perhaps they think that, because I'm fat, I want to eat four platefuls of food.

I think I'll definitely try dividing one plate's worth of food over two plates if we go to a buffet again. Thank you all very much for the advice.