Author Topic: I think I was rude, but don't really care  (Read 5283 times)

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Ceiling Fan

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Re: I think I was rude, but don't really care
« Reply #15 on: May 02, 2011, 12:24:07 PM »
Can I ask what your purpose was in posting this here? Because posts with titles like, "I was rude and don't care" don't seem like they are in keeping with the spirit of the board.

If you are looking for a way to "make up" for your rudeness (which it doesn't sound like), delete both her comment and yours if you can. Apologize to both your mother and her friend.

No, but the OP is receiving many responses which are in the spirit of this board. So an occaissional thread like this might actually be more helpful than saying 'well, you can never post here if you aren't perfectly polite all the time' (because that only leaves us with coming here to point fingers at others).

I know the OP said she doesn't care, but it sounds like it does bother her.

Is she willing to work to fix it? Or is this a "I was rude, tad concerned - oh well" moment?

I agree that the responses are in keeping with the spirit of the board but the OP definitely wasn't. We have plenty of "I was rude, how can I fix it" threads.

Yeah, I get that. I guess we'll have to see what her next post says (if this isn't locked first :))

Perfect Circle

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Re: I think I was rude, but don't really care
« Reply #16 on: May 02, 2011, 12:27:44 PM »
Really the only thing to do is to delete both comments and apologise.

We cannot control how people interact with us sometimes, but we can control how we respond to them. You were rude and you can fix that.
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doodlemor

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Re: I think I was rude, but don't really care
« Reply #17 on: May 02, 2011, 12:42:14 PM »
I'm inclined to give you a pass here.  Yeah, you were cranky/grumpy, but your mother and the woman who posted on your FB were extremely rude and unkind first. 

You must feel very hurt and betrayed, because your mother apparently discussed your personal choices with her young friend in a way critical to you.  That is a serious breach of boundaries, IMO. 

Do a very thoughtful assessment of your relationship with your mother.  If this sort of behavior is the norm you will want to plan your boundaries very carefully.  You may need to distinguish between the mother that you want, and the one you actually have.

You might be better off if you try to keep your relationship with your mother on a more superficial level, and not tell her things that she  can use for ammunition.  She is already showing the inclination to interfere in the raising of your children.

As the years pass by and your family grows you will receive the accepting and uncritical love from them that you deserve.

I apologize if I am reading more into your mother's behavior than actually occurred.

NutMeg

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Re: I think I was rude, but don't really care
« Reply #18 on: May 02, 2011, 12:46:29 PM »
I'm also left wondering what the point of this thread is. You were rude, and don't care. Ok. Then why are you here? You know that we don't agree with that attitude. Why even bring this up?
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Steve

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Re: I think I was rude, but don't really care
« Reply #19 on: May 02, 2011, 12:50:53 PM »
So you were rude, and you do not care, I think that was covered already. Fortunately you can blame raging hormones, so you will probably be fine in the long run. Let me share my story with you, because this same thing happened to me.

I was pregnant and very ready to do everything perfect. I was going to be the perfect mother..... so naturally I would breastfeed, that was without question, and I had looked in to the diapersituation. Where I live, there is a service that you can subscribe to that will deliver clean cloth diapers, and pick up dirty ones, every week, for a fee. This fee was not much above what you would spend on disposable diapers, so, like you, I chose the cloth service, and was ridiculed by all: my DM, my MIL, DH... all of them....but I still went ahead and subscribed to the service.

It took me about a week to realise they had been right.... the diapers STANK! a LOT! They were hard to put on, and subsequently I got to deal with soiled bedlinnen and cloting. My DD kept crying during diaperchanges (no I did not put a pin in her), cried as soon as she had soiled her diaper, and thus would not sleep through the night at all. I switched to disposables within a month and never regretted switching.

You do not want to hear you are wrong right now, and I am not going to tell you that you are. But please, leave some room for the reality that you may be wrong....



EagleEye

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Re: I think I was rude, but don't really care
« Reply #20 on: May 02, 2011, 12:59:34 PM »
So you were rude, and you do not care, I think that was covered already. Fortunately you can blame raging hormones, so you will probably be fine in the long run. Let me share my story with you, because this same thing happened to me.

I was pregnant and very ready to do everything perfect. I was going to be the perfect mother..... so naturally I would breastfeed, that was without question, and I had looked in to the diapersituation. Where I live, there is a service that you can subscribe to that will deliver clean cloth diapers, and pick up dirty ones, every week, for a fee. This fee was not much above what you would spend on disposable diapers, so, like you, I chose the cloth service, and was ridiculed by all: my DM, my MIL, DH... all of them....but I still went ahead and subscribed to the service.

It took me about a week to realise they had been right.... the diapers STANK! a LOT! They were hard to put on, and subsequently I got to deal with soiled bedlinnen and cloting. My DD kept crying during diaperchanges (no I did not put a pin in her), cried as soon as she had soiled her diaper, and thus would not sleep through the night at all. I switched to disposables within a month and never regretted switching.

You do not want to hear you are wrong right now, and I am not going to tell you that you are. But please, leave some room for the reality that you may be wrong....

Well the OP might very well NOT be wrong, there are people who do succeed in cloth diapering, despite what problems you yourself had with it.  As a pregnant woman myself, my advice to you is: let pregnant women have their plans, no matter how unrealistic you find them, or how unsuccessful you were with the same thing.

I agree with the other PPs about deleting the posts, but I do emphasize with the OP because I CANNOT STAND to be told how things will go down when my baby arrives, no matter what thought and research I have given to doing things a certain way.  And for those people who need to inform us 'deluded pregos' how we are being unrealistic, I say to them, the only person I will answer to on these things is myself, so if things don't go as planned, no biggie for me - however that still isn't anyone else's business.

Ticia

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Re: I think I was rude, but don't really care
« Reply #21 on: May 02, 2011, 01:03:21 PM »
This is so very much not appropriate.

I empathize with you, Jenny13, because I've been in the position of having my parenting choices mocked and belittled. The answer is not to respond with more rudeness, though.
Utah

Ticia

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Re: I think I was rude, but don't really care
« Reply #22 on: May 02, 2011, 03:43:17 PM »
I'm opening this back up for Jenny13 to post one more time.

ETA: I'm *only* opening this for Jenny13 to post, as she asked for a chance to apologize. After she has done that the thread will be closed again, so please don't reply.
« Last Edit: May 02, 2011, 07:31:31 PM by Ticia »
Utah

Jenny13

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Re: I think I was rude, but don't really care
« Reply #23 on: May 03, 2011, 08:52:56 AM »
Thanks Ticia!  I honestly think I  may have posted a bit inappropriatly, especially the fact that I put that I didn't really care.  The truth is I did, which is why I posted it here to admit my guilt  :-\  Anyway, obviously I feel sheepish, and as most did ask or inquire the messages on my fb wall were deleted afterall.  Honestly from the get go I wish I deleted her message on my wall and silly me pondered it all day and chose the wrong way to handle it..I should have just posted here first  ::)  Thanks Ticia for allowing me to clarify and apologize too!! I really appreciate it, and again sorry!
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