I sympathize on not getting much time alone with your husband if you have no family to watch them. Dh and I are kinda in the same boat in that respect, as we live an hour away from his parents and don't speak to mine.
The boys used to spend one night a week with my parents when we lived closer to them, but due to many boundary impositions, the biggest of which they spanked one of my children for soiling his underwear, we told them they would no longer be able to see them without supervision. They refused to go that way so they haven't seen their grandchildren in about a year and a half.
Among the boundary crossings was my mother calling the boys teachers to find out how they were doing and then she'd tell me they contacted her first because they couldn't reach me (They had our home and cell #'s and emails but we never had any missed calls from the teachers, nor emails at these times) but when I asked the teachers to not tell my mother things, but to tell me first, they'd give me a puzzled look and say "I'm sorry, when she emails us we'll tell her we can't say anything."
Pirateboy 1 told me once, after the cut off, that my mother said to them that she's a better mom than I am.
So I do understand, but trust me, it's worth your own sanity and the emotional and mental well being of your children too to forfeit nights alone with your DH.