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Author Topic: Real Housewives of New York, fight over equality march  (Read 1942 times)

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LadyL

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Real Housewives of New York, fight over equality march
« on: April 17, 2011, 10:37:05 AM »
I was in a rare mood to watch something mindless so I saw the most recent episode of this show. For those who didn't/don't watch RHONY, it's basically Mean Girls meets wannabee NYC socialites.

In this episode, Alex asks the women on the show to attend a marriage equality rally that she helped organize. One of the invitees, Sonja, was invited to be the grand marshal of the event and give a speech. That morning as they get ready, there is conflict from the beginning because Sonja keeps talking about the event as "her day" and Alex keeps rebutting that the event is about the cause, marriage equality.

It also turns out that Alex's husband was originally scheduled to speak at the rally, but got bumped from the lineup because Sonja negotiated an exclusive speaking contract. At the event, someone tells Alex that if Sonja says its ok, her husband will be allowed to speak.

Alex asks Sonja if her husband can speak and Sonja says no. At this point the tension over Sonja calling it "her day" has been mounting and Alex really gets on her case about being self centered, just before she is about to give her speech.

Now, for my input: I understand that Sonja probably didn't want to break her contract on the spot and that she negotiated it as an exclusive for a reason. I also understand that from Alex's perspective, it's a rally and not a PR event and the idea of someone having an exclusion clause in their contract is unusual. I do think Alex handled it badly by berating Sonja after Sonja said no; but at the same time, Sonja could have explained her reasons better and generally been more gracious about the situation.

Ok, getting to the etiquette question: at a party in her home that same week, Sonja pulls Alex aside ostensibly to talk about what happened. She implies that Alex's husband tried to intimidate her into letting him speak at the rally.* Alex is visibly flabbergasted, but tries to explain how she saw the situation in a calm and reasonable manner. Sonja interrupts her three sentences in saying "I'm just going to cut you off, because you're making no sense." Sonja starts to explain her perspective and in the process calls Alex a "bridezilla" and goes back to harping on Alex's husband being "in her ear" at the rally. When Alex gets visibly agitated and continues to try to defend herself, Sonja criticizes Alex's manners and implies that Alex cornered her just to attack her in her own home. Alex tries to respond and Sonja cuts her off again, telling her she is rude and that she should leave. Basically after that they both shout at each other a bunch and Sonja ends up kicking Alex out.

There is a video clip of the exchange I described here: http://gawker.com/#!5792504/real-housewives-of-new-york-run-amok-brides

My question: who was ruder? Or does it not matter since they both raised their voices and handled things badly? And what could Alex have done differently?

IMHO, it really seems like Sonja was trying to provoke Alex into behaving badly. She implied some sort of physical or verbal threat by Alex's husband, she cut Alex off repeatedly and dismissed her as "not making sense" when she was making perfect sense, called her a "bridezilla," and then called Alex rude repeatedly and cut her off several times until she completely snapped. It was like Button Pushing 101.

I think that Sonja is ruder than Alex in this case because Alex was ostensibly trying to defend herself, her family, and her work with the charity while Sonja was just trying to manipulate Alex into flipping out and embarrassing herself.

I think would have been better for Alex to say "Please don't cut me off" after the first time Sonja did it, and if Sonja didn't apologize and back off, completely disengage from the conversation. But of course that wouldn't make for very good TV  ::).


*As far as I can tell this is a complete fabrication as Alex's husband said a total of one sentence to Sonja during the whole exchange - if it had really happened that way the producers probably would have played it up for drama anyhow.

jimithing

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Re: Real Housewives of New York, fight over equality march
« Reply #1 on: April 17, 2011, 11:03:36 AM »
We've been discussing the march and rally, here: http://www.etiquettehell.com/smf/index.php?topic=93359.0

Team Alex completely when it comes to that. She was on the flier to speak and it was Sonja who told the organizers no one else from The Housewives could speak. Totally classless, especially since she said it was "my day" about 7 times.

But anyway, the fight at the party was a disaster. Sonja tried to tell the other ladies that Alex just started attacking her out of nowhere. Clearly, she instigated it. But Alex made a fool of herself. It was Sonja's party. She should have walked away and cooled off. I read her blog the next day, after it aired, and she regrets how she handled the situation.

I also love how Sonja repeatedly says that Alex has no manners.  ::)

Sharnita

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Re: Real Housewives of New York, fight over equality march
« Reply #2 on: April 17, 2011, 01:41:13 PM »
Honestly, I think the worst thing you could do for your cause (doesn't particularly matter what your cause is) would be to tie it into one of the Heal Housewives shows.  Those women come across as selfish, mean, clueless and rather frivolous IMO.  I think attaching the drama and pettiness of those shows to real and meaningful issues is a huge mistake.

As far as who was ruder, from the description I wold say SOnja but I have to wonder why Alex even went to her party after what went down at the rally.  One would think she would see what was coming and decline the invite in order to avoid it.  Of corse, maybe being on the show obligates her to go and/or interact with Sonja so many times per season.

I would love a real Real Housewives show where they live in a suburb most people haven't heard of, have to take into account the price of gas, are polite to the people they encounter, go grocery shopping.

AngelicGamer

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Re: Real Housewives of New York, fight over equality march
« Reply #3 on: April 17, 2011, 02:27:16 PM »
Well, Sharmita, I wouldn't want to watch your version of RH.  I like the fantasy of the show, especially when Beverly Hills is on the air.  Also, I watch about twenty to thirty minutes behind so I can fast forward through some of the sillier drama.

I think that Alex went to the party with the intention of having a good time.  She should have left it alone. 

For everything else about the march, I agree with Jimi.  :D