I can't believe I forgot this one:
Big Girl by Danielle Steel. Ggaaahhhh!!! The heroine of the story, Victoria, who is maybe 20 pounds overweight, spends the entire book whining about how she's ssssoooooo fat and nobody will ever love her because she's sssoooooo fat and her sister is so pretty and perfect and she isn't so she plows through a half-gallon of ice cream because she's sssssoooooo fat. Victoria, you're a size 12. Stop acting like the local circus sideshow is going to put you on display and grow up already.
Then there's the writing style. I'd really like to know how Danielle Steel has managed to maintain a career as a writer for the last 30 years since the whole thing reads like a 7th grader's attempt at writing a grown-up novel. The sentences are either short and choppy or just run on and on and on (and on and on). There are at least 3 sentences on every.single.page that start with "And". The entire novel is like this:
Victoria is overweight. She wants to be thin and beautiful like her sister. But she isn't. And Victoria wants to be a teacher. But her father doesn't want her to be a teacher. Her father doesn't like her because she isn't pretty and skinny like her sister. Victoria eats some pizza. She wants to move to New York and be a teacher. And she wants to lose some weight.
You've been warned.
Ooh, your remarks on style reminded me of another hate of mine--a whole author, though, not just one book. It started
with one book: some thriller by James Patterson. I had an airplane flight and had read all my own books, so borrowed this one... the plane got stuck on the tarmac and the trip extended by I can't remember how long, but after a couple of (two- to three-page) chapters of JP, I flung it aside in favor of the in-flight magazine. Yes, I hated the book that much.
I read an article about him some years later that clarified and solidified my hatred. The man doesn't write books. He writes outlines. Big print, lots of white space, insanely short chapters, and boom, it's a book! Slap a gaudy cover on it, and it's a best seller.
Oh, also? What happened in chapter 1 or 2 to the family's golden retriever is something I will never get out of my head. Thanks, Patterson.