Author Topic: well, THAT was the worst book ever!  (Read 145251 times)

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snowflake

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Re: well, THAT was the worst book ever!
« Reply #1710 on: July 30, 2012, 12:10:50 PM »
http://jenniferarmintrout.blogspot.com/p/jen-reads-50-shades-of-grey.html?zx=99389c13f686a8a4 There's quite a bit of adult language, but very little of it comes from the actual book.

You know what that is? 47 hues of awesome, that's what.

Agree.  I don't think I'll read 50 shades, but I nearly died.  Read the comments too because there are some great ones.  The best was when she pointed out that Ana "flushed scarlet" for the millionth time and someone posts, "Too bad, Scarlet was such a nice gold fish."  I nearly died.

Sirius

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Re: well, THAT was the worst book ever!
« Reply #1711 on: July 30, 2012, 01:34:45 PM »
Kate Collins' Florist series

This isn't lofty at all - it's a relatively funny series about a florist who's a budding (sorry) detective.  However, her last book was nonsense.  I started reading it in the middle of the series, then got the other books.  While there are a couple of subordinate characters I'd like to hurt (that misogynist law school instructor, for instance, although he doesn't last to the end of the book where he's featured) I noticed that there were times that the florist needed to SPEAK UP FOR HERSELF to avoid being treated like dirt by some of these people.  If I'd had an instructor talk to me the way that misogynist law school instructor had talked to her, as written in the book, he'd have been handed his head plus a few other body parts.  And then I'd have been at NOW* or the local equivalent so quick my sneakers would have been smoking.  (*National Organization of Women.)

And the last book with the guardian angel and the rich cat (as in meow)...oy.  The forward did say that the author's husband had just died suddenly, and she was writing this book in his honor (I read between the lines and picked up that she might have needed the money) but I really think she should have waited awhile before attempting another book, in view of the result. 

Martienne

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Re: well, THAT was the worst book ever!
« Reply #1712 on: July 30, 2012, 03:16:09 PM »
For the Twilight haters, I have to mention I haven't even finished the first book (and generally agree with the negative commentary), but I *did* really enjoy this fanfic, Luminosity.  Basically Bella's character is completely different; came to it via Harry Potter and the Methods of Rationality, which again is a retelling with Harry being very, very different.

I've been reading the latter and enjoying it, but I just tried to read Luminosity and I just...can't...do it. The underlying tale is just so insipid, even with the character change. It's just the blow-by-blow description of everything happening in what's such a mundane and ordinary setting, it makes it torturous to read because nothing much out of the ordinary happens, even with Edward's strange behavior upon meeting her and trying to get out of the class they share. That's really just not that interesting to me.

For what it's worth, I thought the same thing about Luminosity, but I decided to push on a little further and it suddenly got a lot better. It turned into it's own story, instead of just a slightly different retelling.

In that case I'll try to stick it out a while longer. Even the chapter I did read, I skimmed/sped read. Hopefully it hooks me to where I don't feel the need to do that.

Slartibartfast

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Re: well, THAT was the worst book ever!
« Reply #1713 on: July 30, 2012, 03:52:59 PM »
http://jenniferarmintrout.blogspot.com/p/jen-reads-50-shades-of-grey.html?zx=99389c13f686a8a4 There's quite a bit of adult language, but very little of it comes from the actual book.

You know what that is? 47 hues of awesome, that's what.

She's going through the second book now - I love her recaps!  Once you read through her take on "Fifty Shades of Grey," you'd probably love "51 Tints of Granite" - it's just as hilarious  ;D

Girlie

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Re: well, THAT was the worst book ever!
« Reply #1714 on: July 30, 2012, 04:02:27 PM »
Hmm... Interesting to note, most of the books I read that I hated were books required by college instructors. My general perception of the intelligence of those particular college instructors is pretty low as a result. But the two that pop into my head immediately are Freak and Waking Beauty

Elisabunny

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Re: well, THAT was the worst book ever!
« Reply #1715 on: July 30, 2012, 04:23:14 PM »
Violet Miracle by Christina Li was one of those temporary freebies on PixelsofInk.  The first thing I noticed was that the writing was very clunky.  Well, hey, I think she's a fairly new author.  But then there's the plot.

Our Heroine (OH) is a semi-successful author of e-books.  Mary Sue, anyone?   Then a couple chapters in, OH decides to start a new series.  About an author who stumbles onto mysteries.  So we have an author writing a story about an author who is writing a story about an author.  Fortunately it didn't extend the chain any further, but maybe that was because it was just a novella. ;) 

Naturally, because OH is writing a mystery, she stumbles upon a mystery that bears striking resemblance to the one she is writing.  The solution is similar too, except that it happens off-stage during the almost-year OH spends away from the place where all the action is happening. ???  And what is she doing all that time?  OH took a break from the mystery series to write a little heartfelt book that is so amazingly wonderful and inspiring that it is picked up by a print book company for megabucks and she has to go on a publicity tour. ::)  During which, she finally reunites with the Hero (and learns how her real-life mystery ended) and they all live happily ever after.
You must remember this: a ghoti is still a fish...

MommyPenguin

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Re: well, THAT was the worst book ever!
« Reply #1716 on: July 30, 2012, 07:31:57 PM »
My husband and I really enjoyed "Graceling," and my husband got to the sequel, "Fire," first.  He *hated* it.  He said that it was so sad, because Graceling was so good, and there were some parts of Fire that were really well-written gems.  But he said the book was really awful and spent way too much time talking about the main character's period, and was obviously designed to turn guys off the series entirely.  Based on his anti-recommendation, I didn't end up reading it, so I can't say whether I agree, but it sounded pretty awful.  :)

deety

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Re: well, THAT was the worst book ever!
« Reply #1717 on: July 31, 2012, 07:48:16 AM »
My husband and I really enjoyed "Graceling," and my husband got to the sequel, "Fire," first.  He *hated* it.  He said that it was so sad, because Graceling was so good, and there were some parts of Fire that were really well-written gems.  But he said the book was really awful and spent way too much time talking about the main character's period, and was obviously designed to turn guys off the series entirely.  Based on his anti-recommendation, I didn't end up reading it, so I can't say whether I agree, but it sounded pretty awful.  :)

OMD, I am in the middle of Fire, and I have been getting irritated and agitated by it, and tempted just to read the last 5 or so pages.  I am invested enough to want to know how it ends, but I'll forgo the read-the-whole-thing payoff just to get the quick and dirty closure.  I'm glad I'm not the only one.

I also have Bitterblue; have y'all read that?  I'll be trying that next.

Piratelvr1121

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Re: well, THAT was the worst book ever!
« Reply #1718 on: July 31, 2012, 10:19:49 AM »
I remembered one, in looking at my bookshelf.  "Witch and Wizard" by James Patterson. Now I like a lot of his books, and have read the Maximum Ride books and enjoyed them a great deal, and I think he also wrote Suzanne's Diary for Nicholas, which was a tearjerker.

But I think "Witch and Wizard" must have been written by a ghostwriter or something. It is awful.  What kills me is the guy who lent it to me thought it was very well written, calling it a great book.  Even better, this guy wants to be a screenwriter. 
Beyond a wholesome discipline, be gentle with yourself. You are a child of the universe, no less than the trees and the stars.  You have a right to be here. Be cheerful, strive to be happy. -Desiderata

Ereine

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Re: well, THAT was the worst book ever!
« Reply #1719 on: July 31, 2012, 10:58:20 AM »
I've read that Patterson's books are ghostwritten based on ideas he provides and then he edits them and makes sure that they fit the brand.

MERUNCC13

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Re: well, THAT was the worst book ever!
« Reply #1720 on: July 31, 2012, 12:21:27 PM »
"I'm starved for You" by Margaret Atwood (who also wrote "The Handmaidens Tale") was one that was recommended to me by Amazon.com (for my Kindle).  The storyline made sence in the beginning, but as the book went on it started going off on some wild tangents with an ending that just left me hanging.  I didn't pay that much for it (thank the diety!) but I will not be buying or even renting anymore books by this author if she writes any more stories like this. 
Life likes to be taken by the hand and told, I'm with you, let's go! Maya Angelou

StuffedGrapeLeaves

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Re: well, THAT was the worst book ever!
« Reply #1721 on: July 31, 2012, 12:23:51 PM »
I hate Time and Again by Jack Finney.  I was bored with the story, didn't care for the characters, and only finished the book because I was curious if it was going to get better.  I realize a lot of people love this book, but I really can't stand it. 

Petticoats

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Re: well, THAT was the worst book ever!
« Reply #1722 on: August 03, 2012, 12:11:56 PM »
I hate Time and Again by Jack Finney.  I was bored with the story, didn't care for the characters, and only finished the book because I was curious if it was going to get better.  I realize a lot of people love this book, but I really can't stand it.

I'm one of the people who loved it, but I hated its sequel, From Time to Time. It undercut a fair amount of the happy glow left by the first book, and I no longer liked the main character. I've always been curious whether it was deliberate that it was published right after his death--if he or his publisher had guessed that the fans of the first book would resent this one, and so he sat on it instead of publishing it during his lifetime. That's just my own theory, though, and the actuality may have been quite different. I guess part of me wants to believe he knew he was betraying fans of the first book.

Now that I check Wikipedia, I get the sense that it was just happenstance that he died shortly after writing it. So much for my theory. :)


lilfox

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Re: well, THAT was the worst book ever!
« Reply #1723 on: September 17, 2012, 06:47:31 PM »
Resurrecting this thread because my latest book deserves an entry:

Temporary Duty

Summary:  First half of book introduces the Hero, John Peters, as a low-ranking hillbilly enlisted man in the Navy, detailed to a alien trader spaceship to set things up for the arrival of a detachment of Naval aviators.  These pilots are flying their own jets, modified for Outer Space by removing the existing engines and replacing with magic go-machines.

John turns out to have an amazing knack for the alien language and learns it fluently within a month, using complex imagery and 5 syllable words in the language.  No one else achieves this level of fluency in the next 2 years (except some of the aliens, with English).  John speaks English with terrible grammar, indicating his hillbilly origins, but speaks the alien language like an Oxford scholar.

In the first three quarters of the book, John stumbles into one situation or another (which he somehow always saves), and is yelled at all the time by his superiors, regardless of whether it makes sense.  The aliens, however, all grow to love him for his plain-spoken ways, and over the course of the book he makes a fortune (in alien money) with his savvy trade assistance.  And of course, in every completely new situation John encounters, he responds with either super-human sensitivity and insight, or ninja fighting ability (as appropriate).

The last quarter of the book details the following:
  • his overcoming a trio of assassins,
  • being kidnapped by competing space traders,
  • outwitting his captors, and thus gaining their grudging respect
  • being offered a nubile teen companion (whom he gently turns down because he has moral standards),
  • being offered two willing adult women, who are stunningly beautiful and inexplicably human,
  • escaping (with the women, who would otherwise have been killed for some reason),
  • in a spacecraft he has learned how to fly, and now owns because he stole it,
  • discovering he has impregnated both his companions who were, of course, instantly and permanently devoted to him,
  • building a mini-empire, of which he is undisputed leader (but a kind and fair one, naturally),
  • and eventually having tea with the US President as an equal Head of State

I'm sure it needs hardly to be said that everyone who didn't like John turned out to be a blustering buffoon or worse.  Lucky for us, John stayed modest, humble, and sensitive to the end.  <sigh>

Diane AKA Traska

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Re: well, THAT was the worst book ever!
« Reply #1724 on: September 17, 2012, 06:53:35 PM »
Resurrecting this thread because my latest book deserves an entry:

Temporary Duty

Summary:  First half of book introduces the Hero, John Peters, as a low-ranking hillbilly enlisted man in the Navy, detailed to a alien trader spaceship to set things up for the arrival of a detachment of Naval aviators.  These pilots are flying their own jets, modified for Outer Space by removing the existing engines and replacing with magic go-machines.

John turns out to have an amazing knack for the alien language and learns it fluently within a month, using complex imagery and 5 syllable words in the language.  No one else achieves this level of fluency in the next 2 years (except some of the aliens, with English).  John speaks English with terrible grammar, indicating his hillbilly origins, but speaks the alien language like an Oxford scholar.

In the first three quarters of the book, John stumbles into one situation or another (which he somehow always saves), and is yelled at all the time by his superiors, regardless of whether it makes sense.  The aliens, however, all grow to love him for his plain-spoken ways, and over the course of the book he makes a fortune (in alien money) with his savvy trade assistance.  And of course, in every completely new situation John encounters, he responds with either super-human sensitivity and insight, or ninja fighting ability (as appropriate).

The last quarter of the book details the following:
  • his overcoming a trio of assassins,
  • being kidnapped by competing space traders,
  • outwitting his captors, and thus gaining their grudging respect
  • being offered a nubile teen companion (whom he gently turns down because he has moral standards),
  • being offered two willing adult women, who are stunningly beautiful and inexplicably human,
  • escaping (with the women, who would otherwise have been killed for some reason),
  • in a spacecraft he has learned how to fly, and now owns because he stole it,
  • discovering he has impregnated both his companions who were, of course, instantly and permanently devoted to him,
  • building a mini-empire, of which he is undisputed leader (but a kind and fair one, naturally),
  • and eventually having tea with the US President as an equal Head of State

I'm sure it needs hardly to be said that everyone who didn't like John turned out to be a blustering buffoon or worse.  Lucky for us, John stayed modest, humble, and sensitive to the end.  <sigh>

 ???

Are you sure the main character wasn't named "Mary Sue I'mtheauthorsavatar"?
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