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Author Topic: well, THAT was the worst book ever!  (Read 387328 times)

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lilfox

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Re: well, THAT was the worst book ever!
« Reply #1725 on: September 19, 2012, 04:41:57 PM »
Resurrecting this thread because my latest book deserves an entry:

Temporary Duty

<synopsis>

 ???

Are you sure the main character wasn't named "Mary Sue I'mtheauthorsavatar"?

Now I just have to read it. It is getting great reviews on Amazon but what the heck is up with the cover? Is he mopping the floor of a spacedeck?

@Traska - yes, it does totally read as "I was picked on while in the Navy, but my protagonist triumphs over all those idiots I had to report to!"  Also towards the end you will note that apparently he had it in for the IRS too.

@Pippen - yes, swabbing the deck of a spaceship, because the hero is, first and foremost*, a sailor.  (Except later when he becomes an independently wealthy head of state.)  Hope that wasn't too many spoilers for you.    :-\

To be fair, I did enjoy reading it until the halfway point.  Outside of requiring some major suspensions-of-disbelief and some foreshadowing that went nowhere, the author is a decent writer.  However, that last quarter of the book was just beyond cliche.  I think one of two things happened:  either he started out with that ending in mind the whole time and padded out the first 3/4 of the book to make it a bigger payoff, or he was 3/4 of the way into it, had no idea how to end it and just decided to go big or go home.

mrs_deb

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Re: well, THAT was the worst book ever!
« Reply #1726 on: September 19, 2012, 04:57:44 PM »
The Bride Price (Civil War Brides Series) by Tracey Jane Jackson.  It was free, and not even worth that much.

Just...don't.


Dark Annie

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Re: well, THAT was the worst book ever!
« Reply #1727 on: September 19, 2012, 08:11:17 PM »
Currently reading 'Pope Joan' by Donna Woolfolk Cross. My feelings about this book can be summed up in the Goodread Post I made on Sunday...:

Mary Jane Sue!
Does whatever a Mary Jane Sue does!
Can she speak in Ancient Greek?
Yes she can!
She's unique!
Lookout!
Here comes the Mary Jane Sue!


And then the post I made 100 pages later...

All right, all right, I get it.
Pope Joan is absolutely perfect in every way, more brilliant than everyone else in the novel, talented in every field from Greek to Theology to Medicine and has no discernible flaws except for being so much smarter than everyone else and being hot heated. Pope Joan or Pope Bella-Hermione? THERE'S NO GORRAM DIFFERENCE!


I have 140 pages to go and I just want to be done with it. Maybe I'm just jealous though- after all, she has just discovered the oral transmission of disease (in 800 AD) and developed a cure. I guess I'm just displaying tall poppy syndrome, but I really wish I was reading 'Hellstrom's Hive' at the moment instead of this garbage.
« Last Edit: September 19, 2012, 09:49:42 PM by Dark Annie »

Piratelvr1121

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Re: well, THAT was the worst book ever!
« Reply #1728 on: September 19, 2012, 08:44:41 PM »
Currently reading 'Pope Joan' by Donna Woolfolk Cross. My feelings about this book can be summed up in the Goodread Post I made on Sunday...:

Mary Jane!
Does whatever a Mary Jane does!
Can she speak in Ancient Greek?
Yes she can!
She's unique!
Lookout!
Here comes the Mary Jane!


And then the post I made 100 pages later...

All right, all right, I get it.
Pope Joan is absolutely perfect in every way, more brilliant than everyone else in the novel, talented in every field from Greek to Theology to Medicine and has no discernible flaws except for being so much smarter than everyone else and being hot heated. Pope Joan or Pope Bella-Hermione? THERE'S NO GORRAM DIFFERENCE!


I have 140 pages to go and I just want to be done with it. Maybe I'm just jealous though- after all, she has just discovered the oral transmission of disease (in 800 AD) and developed a cure. I guess I'm just displaying tall poppy syndrome, but I really wish I was reading 'Hellstrom's Hive' at the moment instead of this garbage.

Hmm, well in looking at her picture on the cover, she does look like Kristen Stewart.
Beyond a wholesome discipline, be gentle with yourself. You are a child of the universe, no less than the trees and the stars.  You have a right to be here. Be cheerful, strive to be happy. -Desiderata

greencat

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Re: well, THAT was the worst book ever!
« Reply #1729 on: September 19, 2012, 09:17:11 PM »
Err, Mary Jane is weed.  Mary Sue is author insertion/wish fulfillment. 

One bad book for me:  Confederacy of Dunces.  I read the first 50 pages or so of it and put it down and never picked it up again.  My soon-to-be-ex had been raving about how great it was, but I didn't find it particularly engaging.  Actually, I don't even remember much of it now - I seem to have developed an ability to block out entertainment that I didn't enjoy.

Pippen

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Re: well, THAT was the worst book ever!
« Reply #1730 on: September 19, 2012, 09:25:39 PM »
Err, Mary Jane is weed.  Mary Sue is author insertion/wish fulfillment. 

One bad book for me:  Confederacy of Dunces.  I read the first 50 pages or so of it and put it down and never picked it up again.  My soon-to-be-ex had been raving about how great it was, but I didn't find it particularly engaging.  Actually, I don't even remember much of it now - I seem to have developed an ability to block out entertainment that I didn't enjoy.

I love that book! It is hilarious.

Dark Annie

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Re: well, THAT was the worst book ever!
« Reply #1731 on: September 19, 2012, 09:48:06 PM »
Err, Mary Jane is weed.  Mary Sue is author insertion/wish fulfillment. 

One bad book for me:  Confederacy of Dunces.  I read the first 50 pages or so of it and put it down and never picked it up again.  My soon-to-be-ex had been raving about how great it was, but I didn't find it particularly engaging.  Actually, I don't even remember much of it now - I seem to have developed an ability to block out entertainment that I didn't enjoy.

I love that book! It is hilarious.

Duly noted :) I'll fix it up. I have no idea why I wrote Mary Sue- I think I'm just a bit brain snapped with my final year essays!
« Last Edit: September 19, 2012, 09:50:50 PM by Dark Annie »

Diane AKA Traska

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Re: well, THAT was the worst book ever!
« Reply #1732 on: September 19, 2012, 09:56:27 PM »
Err, Mary Jane is weed.  Mary Sue is author insertion/wish fulfillment. 

One bad book for me:  Confederacy of Dunces.  I read the first 50 pages or so of it and put it down and never picked it up again.  My soon-to-be-ex had been raving about how great it was, but I didn't find it particularly engaging.  Actually, I don't even remember much of it now - I seem to have developed an ability to block out entertainment that I didn't enjoy.

I love that book! It is hilarious.

Duly noted :) I'll fix it up. I have no idea why I wrote Mary Sue- I think I'm just a bit brain snapped with my final year essays!

Bringing it all full-circle... there *is* Mary-Jane Watson, who's been connected to Spider-Man for decades.
Location:
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Kendo_Bunny

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Re: well, THAT was the worst book ever!
« Reply #1733 on: September 20, 2012, 12:18:05 PM »
Err, Mary Jane is weed.  Mary Sue is author insertion/wish fulfillment. 

One bad book for me:  Confederacy of Dunces.  I read the first 50 pages or so of it and put it down and never picked it up again.  My soon-to-be-ex had been raving about how great it was, but I didn't find it particularly engaging.  Actually, I don't even remember much of it now - I seem to have developed an ability to block out entertainment that I didn't enjoy.

I love that book! It is hilarious.

I tried to read it because I had heard how hilarious it was. I just found it skin-crawlingly unpleasant.

violinp

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Re: well, THAT was the worst book ever!
« Reply #1734 on: September 20, 2012, 08:18:03 PM »
My first romance novel, while still entertaining to me, still has some truly brain - hurty moments.

I'm pretty sure that if a man asks his brothers - in - law for advice on the woman he's being forced to marry (historical romance) because she's annoying him and, from his perspective, being a bit of a shrew, his brothers - in - law are probably not going to say, "Eh, get married to her. It couldn't hurt - maybe the woman will be good for you." Um, what? If the woman is completely odious to him, I'm pretty sure that "it couldn't hurt" is not the best answer.

I could think of many other things to say: "Tough luck, old boy" or "Are you really sure she's that odious?" come to mind, not "Oh, that annoying person is a good wife for you because she has money! I'm sure that my advice won't totally backfire and put you in a hellish marriage, hating yourself, your wife, and the people who suggested you marry this woman!"
"It takes a great deal of courage to stand up to your enemies, but even more to stand up to your friends" - Harry Potter


Elfmama

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Re: well, THAT was the worst book ever!
« Reply #1735 on: September 20, 2012, 08:52:58 PM »
 I can't believe I haven't posted about this one yet!

A bodice-ripper of such appalling badness that it has stuck in memory for a good 15 years or more: The Princess and the Pirate.

The author's main premise was that the attendant of a princess is called a 'countess' because it is her job to count how many times the princess was alone with a man overnight.   ("One!  One overnight with the Pirate!  Two, two overnights with the Pirate!  Ahaha!" *lightning crashes*)  If the count reached 7 with any one man, the princess would be forced to marry him.   And then, of course, the author tortured the plot until the princess reached the requisite number of nights with the Pirate in the title.

What, diplomatic marriage, you say?  Betrothal while the child is still in the cradle?  Piffle, mere piffle.  We'll just handwave that away.  After all, if a betrothal existed, no prince would want her after the pirate had 7 chances to boink the poor girl, so we'll just pretend things like that never existed.  ::)
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Common sense is not a gift, but a curse.  Because then
you have to deal with all the people who don't have it.
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violinp

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Re: well, THAT was the worst book ever!
« Reply #1736 on: September 20, 2012, 09:07:39 PM »
I can't believe I haven't posted about this one yet!

A bodice-ripper of such appalling badness that it has stuck in memory for a good 15 years or more: The Princess and the Pirate.

The author's main premise was that the attendant of a princess is called a 'countess' because it is her job to count how many times the princess was alone with a man overnight.   ("One!  One overnight with the Pirate!  Two, two overnights with the Pirate!  Ahaha!" *lightning crashes*)  If the count reached 7 with any one man, the princess would be forced to marry him.   And then, of course, the author tortured the plot until the princess reached the requisite number of nights with the Pirate in the title.

What, diplomatic marriage, you say?  Betrothal while the child is still in the cradle?  Piffle, mere piffle.  We'll just handwave that away.  After all, if a betrothal existed, no prince would want her after the pirate had 7 chances to boink the poor girl, so we'll just pretend things like that never existed.  ::)

Ahahahaha!
"It takes a great deal of courage to stand up to your enemies, but even more to stand up to your friends" - Harry Potter


lady_disdain

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Re: well, THAT was the worst book ever!
« Reply #1737 on: September 20, 2012, 09:41:49 PM »
I can't believe I haven't posted about this one yet!

A bodice-ripper of such appalling badness that it has stuck in memory for a good 15 years or more: The Princess and the Pirate.

The author's main premise was that the attendant of a princess is called a 'countess' because it is her job to count how many times the princess was alone with a man overnight.   ("One!  One overnight with the Pirate!  Two, two overnights with the Pirate!  Ahaha!" *lightning crashes*)  If the count reached 7 with any one man, the princess would be forced to marry him.   And then, of course, the author tortured the plot until the princess reached the requisite number of nights with the Pirate in the title.

What, diplomatic marriage, you say?  Betrothal while the child is still in the cradle?  Piffle, mere piffle.  We'll just handwave that away.  After all, if a betrothal existed, no prince would want her after the pirate had 7 chances to boink the poor girl, so we'll just pretend things like that never existed.  ::)

"She slept with the pirate only 6 times? She is a fine gal and I will have her. What? She slept with another guy? How many time? Only 6? Phew! You scared me for a minute - from the way you said it, I thought she had slept with him, like, 7 times. But it was only 6. That is fine. I don't care how many guys she slept with, just how many times she slept with each, because that is what makes a nice girl."

A more mathematical approach. If a princess is reasonably "chaste" and wants to get married, then the rule will lead her to sleep with a few guys, choose one and do the nasty 7 times with him. Now, suppose the princess doesn't want to get married but has a healthy libido. Then, either there are lots of cold showers in her future or she will sleep with a lot of guys 6 times. The minimum case scenario, she sleeps with no one and is unmarried or she sleeps with one guy and marries him. In the maximum case, she goes bed hopping.

Pippen

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Re: well, THAT was the worst book ever!
« Reply #1738 on: September 20, 2012, 09:53:11 PM »
Err, Mary Jane is weed.  Mary Sue is author insertion/wish fulfillment. 

One bad book for me:  Confederacy of Dunces.  I read the first 50 pages or so of it and put it down and never picked it up again.  My soon-to-be-ex had been raving about how great it was, but I didn't find it particularly engaging.  Actually, I don't even remember much of it now - I seem to have developed an ability to block out entertainment that I didn't enjoy.

I love that book! It is hilarious.

I tried to read it because I had heard how hilarious it was. I just found it skin-crawlingly unpleasant.

The first part is setting out his noxious character but the dialogue gets a lot better and it picks up pace.

Kendo_Bunny

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Re: well, THAT was the worst book ever!
« Reply #1739 on: September 20, 2012, 09:58:10 PM »
I got about halfway through, and still every single character made me want to disinfect myself. Maybe it's because stupid people doing stupid things that make everyone around them miserable has never amused me, and a book where every single character is doing that just strikes me as horrible, not funny.

To each their own. Some of the things that leave me in stitches probably leave you shaking your head in disbelief.