well, THAT was the worst book ever!

[Pippen]

Err, Mary Jane is weed.  Mary Sue is author insertion/wish fulfillment. 

One bad book for me:  Confederacy of Dunces.  I read the first 50 pages or so of it and put it down and never picked it up again.  My soon-to-be-ex had been raving about how great it was, but I didn't find it particularly engaging.  Actually, I don't even remember much of it now - I seem to have developed an ability to block out entertainment that I didn't enjoy.

I love that book! It is hilarious.

[Dark Annie]

Err, Mary Jane is weed.  Mary Sue is author insertion/wish fulfillment. 

One bad book for me:  Confederacy of Dunces.  I read the first 50 pages or so of it and put it down and never picked it up again.  My soon-to-be-ex had been raving about how great it was, but I didn't find it particularly engaging.  Actually, I don't even remember much of it now - I seem to have developed an ability to block out entertainment that I didn't enjoy.

I love that book! It is hilarious.

Duly noted I'll fix it up. I have no idea why I wrote Mary Sue- I think I'm just a bit brain snapped with my final year essays!

[Diane AKA Traska]

Err, Mary Jane is weed.  Mary Sue is author insertion/wish fulfillment. 

One bad book for me:  Confederacy of Dunces.  I read the first 50 pages or so of it and put it down and never picked it up again.  My soon-to-be-ex had been raving about how great it was, but I didn't find it particularly engaging.  Actually, I don't even remember much of it now - I seem to have developed an ability to block out entertainment that I didn't enjoy.

I love that book! It is hilarious.

Duly noted I'll fix it up. I have no idea why I wrote Mary Sue- I think I'm just a bit brain snapped with my final year essays!

Bringing it all full-circle... there *is* Mary-Jane Watson, who's been connected to Spider-Man for decades.

[Kendo_Bunny]

Err, Mary Jane is weed.  Mary Sue is author insertion/wish fulfillment. 

One bad book for me:  Confederacy of Dunces.  I read the first 50 pages or so of it and put it down and never picked it up again.  My soon-to-be-ex had been raving about how great it was, but I didn't find it particularly engaging.  Actually, I don't even remember much of it now - I seem to have developed an ability to block out entertainment that I didn't enjoy.

I love that book! It is hilarious.

I tried to read it because I had heard how hilarious it was. I just found it skin-crawlingly unpleasant.

[violinp]

My first romance novel, while still entertaining to me, still has some truly brain - hurty moments.

I'm pretty sure that if a man asks his brothers - in - law for advice on the woman he's being forced to marry (historical romance) because she's annoying him and, from his perspective, being a bit of a shrew, his brothers - in - law are probably not going to say, "Eh, get married to her. It couldn't hurt - maybe the woman will be good for you." Um, what? If the woman is completely odious to him, I'm pretty sure that "it couldn't hurt" is not the best answer.

I could think of many other things to say: "Tough luck, old boy" or "Are you really sure she's that odious?" come to mind, not "Oh, that annoying person is a good wife for you because she has money! I'm sure that my advice won't totally backfire and put you in a hellish marriage, hating yourself, your wife, and the people who suggested you marry this woman!"

[Elfmama]

 I can't believe I haven't posted about this one yet!

A bodice-ripper of such appalling badness that it has stuck in memory for a good 15 years or more: The Princess and the Pirate.

The author's main premise was that the attendant of a princess is called a 'countess' because it is her job to count how many times the princess was alone with a man overnight.   ("One!  One overnight with the Pirate!  Two, two overnights with the Pirate!  Ahaha!" *lightning crashes*)  If the count reached 7 with any one man, the princess would be forced to marry him.   And then, of course, the author tortured the plot until the princess reached the requisite number of nights with the Pirate in the title.

What, diplomatic marriage, you say?  Betrothal while the child is still in the cradle?  Piffle, mere piffle.  We'll just handwave that away.  After all, if a betrothal existed, no prince would want her after the pirate had 7 chances to boink the poor girl, so we'll just pretend things like that never existed. 

[violinp]

I can't believe I haven't posted about this one yet!

A bodice-ripper of such appalling badness that it has stuck in memory for a good 15 years or more: The Princess and the Pirate.

The author's main premise was that the attendant of a princess is called a 'countess' because it is her job to count how many times the princess was alone with a man overnight.   ("One!  One overnight with the Pirate!  Two, two overnights with the Pirate!  Ahaha!" *lightning crashes*)  If the count reached 7 with any one man, the princess would be forced to marry him.   And then, of course, the author tortured the plot until the princess reached the requisite number of nights with the Pirate in the title.

What, diplomatic marriage, you say?  Betrothal while the child is still in the cradle?  Piffle, mere piffle.  We'll just handwave that away.  After all, if a betrothal existed, no prince would want her after the pirate had 7 chances to boink the poor girl, so we'll just pretend things like that never existed. 

Ahahahaha!

[lady_disdain]

I can't believe I haven't posted about this one yet!

A bodice-ripper of such appalling badness that it has stuck in memory for a good 15 years or more: The Princess and the Pirate.

The author's main premise was that the attendant of a princess is called a 'countess' because it is her job to count how many times the princess was alone with a man overnight.   ("One!  One overnight with the Pirate!  Two, two overnights with the Pirate!  Ahaha!" *lightning crashes*)  If the count reached 7 with any one man, the princess would be forced to marry him.   And then, of course, the author tortured the plot until the princess reached the requisite number of nights with the Pirate in the title.

What, diplomatic marriage, you say?  Betrothal while the child is still in the cradle?  Piffle, mere piffle.  We'll just handwave that away.  After all, if a betrothal existed, no prince would want her after the pirate had 7 chances to boink the poor girl, so we'll just pretend things like that never existed. 

"She slept with the pirate only 6 times? She is a fine gal and I will have her. What? She slept with another guy? How many time? Only 6? Phew! You scared me for a minute - from the way you said it, I thought she had slept with him, like, 7 times. But it was only 6. That is fine. I don't care how many guys she slept with, just how many times she slept with each, because that is what makes a nice girl."

A more mathematical approach. If a princess is reasonably "chaste" and wants to get married, then the rule will lead her to sleep with a few guys, choose one and do the nasty 7 times with him. Now, suppose the princess doesn't want to get married but has a healthy libido. Then, either there are lots of cold showers in her future or she will sleep with a lot of guys 6 times. The minimum case scenario, she sleeps with no one and is unmarried or she sleeps with one guy and marries him. In the maximum case, she goes bed hopping.

[Pippen]

Err, Mary Jane is weed.  Mary Sue is author insertion/wish fulfillment. 

One bad book for me:  Confederacy of Dunces.  I read the first 50 pages or so of it and put it down and never picked it up again.  My soon-to-be-ex had been raving about how great it was, but I didn't find it particularly engaging.  Actually, I don't even remember much of it now - I seem to have developed an ability to block out entertainment that I didn't enjoy.

I love that book! It is hilarious.

I tried to read it because I had heard how hilarious it was. I just found it skin-crawlingly unpleasant.

The first part is setting out his noxious character but the dialogue gets a lot better and it picks up pace.

[Kendo_Bunny]

I got about halfway through, and still every single character made me want to disinfect myself. Maybe it's because stupid people doing stupid things that make everyone around them miserable has never amused me, and a book where every single character is doing that just strikes me as horrible, not funny.

To each their own. Some of the things that leave me in stitches probably leave you shaking your head in disbelief.

[pierrotlunaire0]

I can't believe I haven't posted about this one yet!

A bodice-ripper of such appalling badness that it has stuck in memory for a good 15 years or more: The Princess and the Pirate.

The author's main premise was that the attendant of a princess is called a 'countess' because it is her job to count how many times the princess was alone with a man overnight.   ("One!  One overnight with the Pirate!  Two, two overnights with the Pirate!  Ahaha!" *lightning crashes*)  If the count reached 7 with any one man, the princess would be forced to marry him.   And then, of course, the author tortured the plot until the princess reached the requisite number of nights with the Pirate in the title.

What, diplomatic marriage, you say?  Betrothal while the child is still in the cradle?  Piffle, mere piffle.  We'll just handwave that away.  After all, if a betrothal existed, no prince would want her after the pirate had 7 chances to boink the poor girl, so we'll just pretend things like that never existed. 

I have got to find this book.

Also, it leads me to wonder.  While the Countess is counting Scrabble partners, what is the Count counting?

[artk2002]

Also, it leads me to wonder.  While the Countess is counting Scrabble partners, what is the Count counting?

Countesses.

For anyone who has read (or manages to read) this classic, please tell me: Did it seem like the author was writing this tongue-in-cheek or was s/he serious?

[Twik]

This might be a fun premise for a tongue-in-cheek fairytale.

However, if the author intended it to be read as an actual history taking place in a culture that actually existed at some time on planet Earth, the mind boggles. Did it appear she actually thought that this was the real origin of the title "Countess"?

[Elfmama]

This might be a fun premise for a tongue-in-cheek fairytale.

However, if the author intended it to be read as an actual history taking place in a culture that actually existed at some time on planet Earth, the mind boggles. Did it appear she actually thought that this was the real origin of the title "Countess"?

Near as I could tell, yes.  It was set in real-world medieval Europe.  The rest of the details have mercifully gone blank, however.  Googling for it does not turn up anything that seems to be the same book, so it's probably looooooooooooooong out of print.  It was a library paperback and no longer on shelf.

[greencat]

I've actually heard of the book before - I think it may have won an award for awful literature.