Author Topic: well, THAT was the worst book ever!  (Read 145214 times)

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Piratelvr1121

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Re: well, THAT was the worst book ever!
« Reply #1755 on: September 21, 2012, 08:45:35 PM »
I can't believe I haven't posted about this one yet!

A bodice-ripper of such appalling badness that it has stuck in memory for a good 15 years or more: The Princess and the Pirate.

The author's main premise was that the attendant of a princess is called a 'countess' because it is her job to count how many times the princess was alone with a man overnight.   ("One!  One overnight with the Pirate!  Two, two overnights with the Pirate!  Ahaha!" *lightning crashes*)  If the count reached 7 with any one man, the princess would be forced to marry him.   And then, of course, the author tortured the plot until the princess reached the requisite number of nights with the Pirate in the title.

What, diplomatic marriage, you say?  Betrothal while the child is still in the cradle?  Piffle, mere piffle.  We'll just handwave that away.  After all, if a betrothal existed, no prince would want her after the pirate had 7 chances to boink the poor girl, so we'll just pretend things like that never existed.  ::)

Ahahahaha!

That made me giggle too!  I always loved the count!!
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BarensMom

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Re: well, THAT was the worst book ever!
« Reply #1756 on: September 22, 2012, 11:08:40 AM »
But a "countess" keeping track of how many times a princess was alone with any man?  ONCE was enough to cause problems in the world history that I learned in school.  Seven times......would have had the princess in a convent for the rest of her life or married off to the first nobility that the king her father or brother could find who would take her and her reputation away from court.

I'm reminded of what happened with Heloise and Abelard.

Shea

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Re: well, THAT was the worst book ever!
« Reply #1757 on: September 22, 2012, 11:44:57 AM »
But a "countess" keeping track of how many times a princess was alone with any man?  ONCE was enough to cause problems in the world history that I learned in school.  Seven times......would have had the princess in a convent for the rest of her life or married off to the first nobility that the king her father or brother could find who would take her and her reputation away from court.

I'm reminded of what happened with Heloise and Abelard.

That would be a twist ending for a romance novel >:D.


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VorFemme

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Re: well, THAT was the worst book ever!
« Reply #1758 on: September 22, 2012, 05:04:24 PM »
But a "countess" keeping track of how many times a princess was alone with any man?  ONCE was enough to cause problems in the world history that I learned in school.  Seven times......would have had the princess in a convent for the rest of her life or married off to the first nobility that the king her father or brother could find who would take her and her reputation away from court.

I'm reminded of what happened with Heloise and Abelard.

That would be a twist ending for a romance novel >:D.

Ouch......not a romance novel that would igve the reader very pleasant daydreams....
Let sleeping dragons be.......morning breath......need I say more?

matzo33

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Re: well, THAT was the worst book ever!
« Reply #1759 on: September 26, 2012, 04:14:19 PM »
I don't care for Pat Conroy because his books are dark and depressing and I can't read one without having an unabridged dictionary on hand.

The one that ended up in the trash without being finished started out well.  A New England Native American tribe is raided and two young hostages are taken.  The girl manages to escape but the boy decides to stay because he is treated better and is quite curious and quick to learn about their captors.  The raiders are some type of matriarchal society and they decide to raid down in the Caribbean.

They climb in the live turtle  :-\ that had windows cut in the shell and submarine off to the islands.  At that point, I skimmed toward the end and figured out that the boy was going to be used for breeding purposes and in the trash it went.

violinp

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Re: well, THAT was the worst book ever!
« Reply #1760 on: September 26, 2012, 04:28:37 PM »
I don't care for Pat Conroy because his books are dark and depressing and I can't read one without having an unabridged dictionary on hand.

The one that ended up in the trash without being finished started out well.  A New England Native American tribe is raided and two young hostages are taken.  The girl manages to escape but the boy decides to stay because he is treated better and is quite curious and quick to learn about their captors.  The raiders are some type of matriarchal society and they decide to raid down in the Caribbean.

They climb in the live turtle  :-\ that had windows cut in the shell and submarine off to the islands.  At that point, I skimmed toward the end and figured out that the boy was going to be used for breeding purposes and in the trash it went.

South of Broad is, without a doubt, the worst book I've ever read. By the end, I hated everyone in that awful, awful book, and haven't picked it up in two years. That was really disheartening, because I loved The Water Is Wide - was crying laughing half the time - and I thought that it would be the same level of intelligence and humor. Oh, how very wrong I was - hearing some of the stories my dad had from working with the cops for years weren't half as disturbing.
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Miss Misery

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Re: well, THAT was the worst book ever!
« Reply #1761 on: January 15, 2013, 01:35:31 PM »
Portrait of a Killer: Jack the Ripper--Case Closed by Patricia Cornwell, a sloppy, insulting,  character assassination of artist Walter Sickert written by a raging egomaniac. Just what is wrong with this book? Lets see....


* Patricia Cornwell is not a historian, detective, art expert, or even a forensic scientist (she worked in the office of a Chief Medical Examiner as a technical writer and computer analyst), yet seems to believe she's an expert on everything.
* Cornwell ignoring evidence from several sources that puts Sickert in Paris during the Ripper murders.
* Cornwell stating as fact that Sickert's manhood was mangled by a fistula, therefore was impotent and childless. There is plenty of evidence that Sickert's manhood was in fine working order and he possibly fathered several illegitimate children.
* Cornwell whines about there were no blood tests or blood spatter analysis done for a murder victim in 1888. (1) The fact that human blood has different types wasn't discovered until 1901. (2) Tests to distinguish human blood from animal blood didn't come around until 1901. (3) The earliest reference of blood spatter analysis was written in 1894, and the meaning of blood spatter patterns wasn't studied until 1939.
* Jean Overton Fuller wrote a book about Sickert being Jack the Ripper back in 1990. The theory was debunked back then too.
* Cornwell laughably claims that Sickert wrote *all* of the Ripper letters (around 600!) while disguising his handwriting spelling on some of them and has DNA evidence on one of them. Ripperologists consider all the letters to be hoaxes and her so-called is mitochondrial DNA. Even if Cornwell did manage to get rock-solid DNA evidence, it would only prove that Sickert wrote a hoax letter.
* The book is sloppy and badly written. Cornwell can't seem to a train of thought for more than two pages before changing the subject.

I could go on and on, but read Caleb Carr's skewering in The New York Times or Stephen P. Ryder's problems with the Cornwell's conclusions on Casebook.org.

The only thing this book proves is that Patricia Cornwell is full of herself. Case Closed.

« Last Edit: January 15, 2013, 02:27:33 PM by Miss Misery »

Auntie Mame

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Re: well, THAT was the worst book ever!
« Reply #1762 on: January 15, 2013, 01:54:31 PM »
Worst books I ever read?

Twilight by Stephanie Meyer.  Ugh, I will never get my life back and that poorly written Buffy rip off drivel is forever in my head.

The White Plague by Frank Herbert.  Goodness gracious, I love Dune, but that man is the misogynist to end all misogynists.

The Land of the Painted caves by Jean M Auel.  I have been reading her books for decades.  yes, they've gotten gradually worse and more poorly written as the series (and the dullest, I mean DULLEST scrabble playing ever, she's been copying and pasting the same few pages since the mid 80's).  But that last, wow, I mean...I just...that was just, I can't even find words for how beyond awful that piece of garbage was.  If you haven't read the book yet, for the love of the Mother Goddess herself, don't, just don't don't don't. 
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ScubaGirl

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Re: well, THAT was the worst book ever!
« Reply #1763 on: January 15, 2013, 04:49:05 PM »
Portrait of a Killer: Jack the Ripper--Case Closed by Patricia Cornwell, a sloppy, insulting,  character assassination of artist Walter Sickert written by a raging egomaniac. Just what is wrong with this book? Lets see....


* Patricia Cornwell is not a historian, detective, art expert, or even a forensic scientist (she worked in the office of a Chief Medical Examiner as a technical writer and computer analyst), yet seems to believe she's an expert on everything.
* Cornwell ignoring evidence from several sources that puts Sickert in Paris during the Ripper murders.
* Cornwell stating as fact that Sickert's manhood was mangled by a fistula, therefore was impotent and childless. There is plenty of evidence that Sickert's manhood was in fine working order and he possibly fathered several illegitimate children.
* Cornwell whines about there were no blood tests or blood spatter analysis done for a murder victim in 1888. (1) The fact that human blood has different types wasn't discovered until 1901. (2) Tests to distinguish human blood from animal blood didn't come around until 1901. (3) The earliest reference of blood spatter analysis was written in 1894, and the meaning of blood spatter patterns wasn't studied until 1939.
* Jean Overton Fuller wrote a book about Sickert being Jack the Ripper back in 1990. The theory was debunked back then too.
* Cornwell laughably claims that Sickert wrote *all* of the Ripper letters (around 600!) while disguising his handwriting spelling on some of them and has DNA evidence on one of them. Ripperologists consider all the letters to be hoaxes and her so-called is mitochondrial DNA. Even if Cornwell did manage to get rock-solid DNA evidence, it would only prove that Sickert wrote a hoax letter.
* The book is sloppy and badly written. Cornwell can't seem to a train of thought for more than two pages before changing the subject.

I could go on and on, but read Caleb Carr's skewering in The New York Times or Stephen P. Ryder's problems with the Cornwell's conclusions on Casebook.org.

The only thing this book proves is that Patricia Cornwell is full of herself. Case Closed.

This was very timely - this book is my book club's selection for this month.   I agree with every single bullet point.  I simply gave up on it.  Even the person who selected it stopped reading it.

nuit93

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Re: well, THAT was the worst book ever!
« Reply #1764 on: January 15, 2013, 05:38:31 PM »
Worst books I ever read?

Twilight by Stephanie Meyer.  Ugh, I will never get my life back and that poorly written Buffy rip off drivel is forever in my head.

The White Plague by Frank Herbert.  Goodness gracious, I love Dune, but that man is the misogynist to end all misogynists.

The Land of the Painted caves by Jean M Auel.  I have been reading her books for decades.  yes, they've gotten gradually worse and more poorly written as the series (and the dullest, I mean DULLEST scrabble playing ever, she's been copying and pasting the same few pages since the mid 80's).  But that last, wow, I mean...I just...that was just, I can't even find words for how beyond awful that piece of garbage was.  If you haven't read the book yet, for the love of the Mother Goddess herself, don't, just don't don't don't.

I though Auel gave up on the series about a decade ago?

Moray

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Re: well, THAT was the worst book ever!
« Reply #1765 on: January 15, 2013, 05:44:00 PM »
Worst books I ever read?

Twilight by Stephanie Meyer.  Ugh, I will never get my life back and that poorly written Buffy rip off drivel is forever in my head.

The White Plague by Frank Herbert.  Goodness gracious, I love Dune, but that man is the misogynist to end all misogynists.

The Land of the Painted caves by Jean M Auel.  I have been reading her books for decades.  yes, they've gotten gradually worse and more poorly written as the series (and the dullest, I mean DULLEST scrabble playing ever, she's been copying and pasting the same few pages since the mid 80's).  But that last, wow, I mean...I just...that was just, I can't even find words for how beyond awful that piece of garbage was.  If you haven't read the book yet, for the love of the Mother Goddess herself, don't, just don't don't don't.

I though Auel gave up on the series about a decade ago?

I can't help but think she "gave up" about 1/2 way into the second book. Seriously though, there's a sixth book that just came out a little over a year ago. http://www.amazon.com/The-Land-Painted-Caves-Children/dp/0553289438/ref=pd_sim_b_8
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Winterlight

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Re: well, THAT was the worst book ever!
« Reply #1766 on: January 15, 2013, 05:56:38 PM »
Worst books I ever read?

Twilight by Stephanie Meyer.  Ugh, I will never get my life back and that poorly written Buffy rip off drivel is forever in my head.

The White Plague by Frank Herbert.  Goodness gracious, I love Dune, but that man is the misogynist to end all misogynists.

The Land of the Painted caves by Jean M Auel.  I have been reading her books for decades.  yes, they've gotten gradually worse and more poorly written as the series (and the dullest, I mean DULLEST scrabble playing ever, she's been copying and pasting the same few pages since the mid 80's).  But that last, wow, I mean...I just...that was just, I can't even find words for how beyond awful that piece of garbage was.  If you haven't read the book yet, for the love of the Mother Goddess herself, don't, just don't don't don't.

I though Auel gave up on the series about a decade ago?

She did- and boy does it show in the last book, which came out in 2011. Don't bother with it. Really, don't.
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BB-VA

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Re: well, THAT was the worst book ever!
« Reply #1767 on: January 15, 2013, 10:01:52 PM »
Speaking of Dune - every one of the Dune books past "Children of Dune".  I did faithfully read all the ones that Frank Herbert wrote but liked them less and less.

And then his son started writing them. I read 2.  That was 2 too many.  Yeesh.
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Piratelvr1121

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Re: well, THAT was the worst book ever!
« Reply #1768 on: January 15, 2013, 10:35:39 PM »
"Spirited Away" takes place in the 1650's, during the time of Oliver Cromwell, who hated Catholicism and wanted to punish the Irish Catholics for their rebellion in 1641.  Supposedly Ireland lost more of it's population in this time than during the famine 41% compared to 16%.  Ethnic cleansing in which they were either killed, exiled or sold into slavery.  Either way, trying to rid Ireland of the Catholics.

It starts with two sisters, the main character being Frederica, nicknamed Freddy, who rode a gypsy cob horse (a friend of mine told me this breed didn't even exist in the 17th century.) Not to mention this horse is supposedly Frederica's to ride just for fun.  Her family is a very poor Irish Catholic family, so that they had enough money to even own a work horse, let alone one just for their daughter to ride for fun? A breed that didn't even exist at the time? Hm.

Well then Freddy, a tomboy, learns her papa, whom she is supposedly VERY close to, is caught by the British and made to go serve in a war and then Freddy, her sisters and mother go to live with relatives.  A few months later she and her sister are on a beach and lured into a trap where they are thrown in with a bunch of other girls and loaded onto a ship and sent west to be slaves in the Caribbean.

When they arrive, Freddy is sold to the owner of a sugar plantation who immediately starts...well let's just say she is the means to produce more slaves for him, if you get my drift, in addition to tutoring the master's spoiled daughter since she can read and write.  She finds out her sister ended up on another island, a slave that falls in love with her master and is treated wonderfully by her master.   Well not long after the master has his way with Freddy, she becomes pregnant and oh despite the fact that she was raped, she's happy about this pregnancy.  Then the master grows tired of her and decides she's going to live with another slave, a man she barely knows and the two of them are going to make slaves together.  And they fall in love and have a child.  (this I can buy a bit more than the slaves being just fine with pregnancies that result from rape by their horrible, abusive master)

Well Freddy's new lover dies as a result of a rebellion led by himself and other slaves, leaving Freddy with one white baby and one biracial child.  Then she gets a letter from her sister "Oh my master turned husband will allow you to come but no 'mulattos' (not this term but another I can't recall) are allowed on this island, so sorry!" Nevermind that it means she's turning her back on her sister pretty much and her nephew. 

But oh never fear, another Irish slave turned pirate once he escaped comes back for her and helps her and her Indian friend escape with their children and the book just abruptly ends.  No mention of how they fare once they get to Jamestown to live with her friend's tribe in the "mountains."

By the way, her father that she is oh so close to? Is mentioned twice after she's sold into slavery in a "gee, I wonder how papa's doing?"  ::)

The book left me wondering where the author got her information.  Mind you the horse thing I honestly didn't know till I was more than halfway through and my friend told me that breed did not exist at that time.  But really?  Mountains? In Jamestown?  Did she watch Disney's Pocahontas?  It bothered me too that it almost seemed like a romanticized version of slavery. 
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oz diva

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Re: well, THAT was the worst book ever!
« Reply #1769 on: January 16, 2013, 05:53:41 AM »
The Flowers in the Attic. It was all the rage when I was 14, so I read it. Urgh what a sordid tale. I resolved never to read any of the sequels and I never have.

Victoria