Surprise!

[BatCity]

This happened to a co-worker yesterday.

She is American and married to a guy from Pakistan.  This month his family is visiting; they flew into one city, visited her family over Christmas (kind of a new thing for them), and then yesterday drove down here for a week-long visit.

Only problem?  On the way they stopped in another city and picked up another branch of the family.  So instead of seven people on her doorstep last night, she had ten.

So this afternoon she's going to swing by my house so I can loan her some extra blankets, towels and pillows.  The one upside of all this...at least she "has" to work this week, so her husband is stuck entertaining his relatives while she gets to come to the office for some peace and quiet.

Lara

[sweedetobee]

I am sure that the correct etiquette is to make them feel as comfortable as possibe, which it sounds like your friend is doing with the blankets, pillows, etc. but I'd be telling DH that the extra people are no problem, but I'm going to a hotel..................   Well really I'd make them comfortable too but DH would be informing them that they cannot show up with extras next time.

[Gwywnnydd]

This happened to a co-worker yesterday.

She is American and married to a guy from Pakistan.  This month his family is visiting; they flew into one city, visited her family over Christmas (kind of a new thing for them), and then yesterday drove down here for a week-long visit.

Only problem?  On the way they stopped in another city and picked up another branch of the family.  So instead of seven people on her doorstep last night, she had ten.

I know a woman who's ILs would do much the same thing . Of course, they would show up with somewhere between 10 and 25 people, and stay for a month. Oh, did I mention none of them spoke English? None of them spoke English. And she didn't speak Farsi. So, guests for a month, who she couldn't talk with. Who expected her to be a gracious hostess, and cater to their every whim (cause that's what a hostess *does*, donchaknow). This woman is, IMO, a saint :}. 

[Clara Bow]

My stepmother in law's family is famous for this. They also like to show up unannounced with suitcases in hand for a surprise visit. Needless to say, I put the quietus on this in a hurry. Ugh.
Maybe in Pakistani families this is not considered rude, but I feel for your friend. That is hiddeous behavior.

[Lisbeth]

I think your friend and her husband need to educate their Pakistani relatives about American hospitality etiquette: It is rude here to bring along uninvited guests, especially without announcing them, and just expecting your hosts to accept it.

[IndianInlaw]

You and your coworkers should chip in to get a hotel room..

FOR HER!!!

[Chartreuse]

There's a reason why most homicides are committed by family members towards family members.   

Good grief, I can't imagine that extra stress.  I hope either she or her husband takes the time to talk to the relatives once they get home about why this isn't considered okay behavior.  That and next time it comes up that they plan to visit, here's to hoping she not so subtly gives them information about hotels in the area. 

[zainabzks]

I agree with you.
It is common for Pakistanis to add more people on. It is a cultural thing.

Still, people do ask before they bring extra people. The host will say yes but it is polite to ask.

[Pixie]

My Friend, "Dee", had a problem when she was a newlywed.... her MIL kept "popping in".  Dee worked 11PM to 7 AM  6 nights a week, her Hubby, "Doug" worked 7 AM to 4 PM 6 days a week. They only had Sundays off together and spent that day doing laundry, housework and grocery shopping. 

Problem was MIL would pop in 3 or 4 nights a week and would stay until Dee left for work. Then on Sunday, the whole family would Pop-in... to "check" on the newlyweds.    MIL would also use these pop-in visits to ask/bully Dee about when she and Doug were going to have babies...

Dee finally stopped it by telling MIL flat out, "If you don't stop popping in and surprising us, you're NEVER going to have any Grand-babies, as we have no private time together"!   It worked.