Author Topic: Wish I had thought of this a number of weeks ago at the supermarket  (Read 26138 times)

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SeaSprite

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     A number of weeks ago I was shopping for a junk/movie night that we do maybe once every 6-9 months.
My best friend of 26 years was with me. He has an inoperable/no more operations brain tumor (8 years we have had past his predicted last weeks-YAY!) Well he was on one of those motorized carts. I had a cart and hung my cane on the babyseat along with my oxygen tank.
   Of course in amongst the regular and good for you food, I had junk food and some sodas for the other adults and kids. Like I said once in a blue moon and this was that time, these weren't our regular everyday foods right?
    So this couple walks by and the lady remarks "If my health was that bad I sure wouldn't continue with such a poor diet" And she gave me a death glare and a VERY large huff.Not the first time I have had someone make an assumption. I haven't been able due to health to go get my second fitting for my top dentures. I have had many people assume that because I have no top teeth I lost them to meth!! Makes me want to scream. I lost them due to some very teeth unfriendly side effects. If I hear it again I will definitely use this.
     After reading Kevlar's post and my experience I wonder if the grocery store was the last bastion of social graces and now it is open season. How rude is it to remark on the amount of items (Kevlar) has? having a large bio family and now a mix of 'strays' and bio I get this too. I often reply "yes I am" to 'you could feed an army/you going to feed an army' remarks. And how rude is it to comment on someone else's cart contents?
I caved....

Spoder

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Re: Wish I had thought of this a number of weeks ago at the supermarket
« Reply #1 on: April 30, 2011, 09:02:52 AM »
Wow, that certainly *is* rude! What on earth makes people like that think someone else's groceries are any of their busines?  ???

Good for you for not retaliating.

Raintree

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Quote
And how rude is it to comment on someone else's cart contents?

Very! Why on earth would they feel this is any of their business? If your health problems were due to a bad diet and you were loading up your cart with the worst food possible, it STILL wouldn't be any of their business. But they are making wild assumptions.

I frequently load up my cart with pre-prepared frozen meals. But it's for my father, who is elderly, lives alone, with mobility problems which prevent his cooking for himself, and needs his freezer stocked with things he can readily heat up and eat for the days when there is nobody there to help him. (I go over there to cook for him frequently, and he also has someone else come in a couple days a week - overall he does eat pretty healthy). I sometimes see people looking at my cart and I wonder if they are thinking, "Doesn't she know it's cheaper and healthier to cook things yourself?" Of course I know! I have my reasons for putting that in my cart. But if anyone actually SAID anything, that would be crossing a line.

Kitty Hawk

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I sometimes see people looking at my cart and I wonder if they are thinking, "Doesn't she know it's cheaper and healthier to cook things yourself?"

That's an interesting assumption too, isn't it?  You don't know what they are thinking.

Iris

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I'm afraid EvilIris might escape in that situation and loudly say to my friend "If I was that rude and nosy, I wouldn't go out in public". So kudos to you for keeping your cool. That woman was beyond rude.
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Ms_Shell

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I sometimes see people looking at my cart and I wonder if they are thinking, "Doesn't she know it's cheaper and healthier to cook things yourself?"

That's an interesting assumption too, isn't it?  You don't know what they are thinking.

Not at all, IMO.  She's wondering, not assuming, and she's thinking, not saying.  Therein lies the difference.  We've said so many times here that it doesn't become rude until it leaves your* mouth  - too bad grocery lady never learned that before she made herself look like a donkey's rump.   

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Kitty Hawk

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I never said (or thought) that she was rude in thinking that.  I do think that her wondering about it is an assumption about what other people are thinking.  That's all that I meant.

For all she knew, they may have been thinking, "Oh that frozen rutabaga-pea-shrimp casserole looks yummy, I ought to go pick one up."

mharbourgirl

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I sometimes see people looking at my cart and I wonder if they are thinking, "Doesn't she know it's cheaper and healthier to cook things yourself?"

A lot of times people are glancing at each others' carts purely out of curiosity.  Your life is different from mine, and a glance at your grocery cart is a kind of window into your life without actually intruding on you.  I find other peoples' shopping choices interesting, that's all.  You can learn a lot about a person from the groceries in their cart.

Other times it's people looking for inspiration.  Maybe the combination of things in YOUR cart is a combination that wouldn't have occurred to me ordinarily, but suddenly I've got a great idea for dinner or baking from something I saw you pick up.

Oh sure, people can be judgemental and make unwarranted assumptions, no question.  That's why this board exists at all.  Some of those people are no doubt making all kinds of assumptions about you, your eating habits, and your morals/ethics based on nothing but the contents of your cart.  This is why sometimes I like to put a really interesting combo of things in my cart and covertly watch the expressions on peoples' faces as I unload my Balkan yogurt, three long English cucumbers, pound of butter, and dog collar onto the conveyor belt.  They don't know that I'm making sauteed cucumbers with the first two things, plan to bake shortbreads, and my dog has lost weight and needs a new collar before she slips out of the old one on a walk.  The looks on SOME peoples' face clearly show that they're thinking all kinds of nasty things about my stuff.  This amuses me, but I never claimed that my sense of humor was any more 'normal' than the rest of me.  ;D

Wonderflonium

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I never said (or thought) that she was rude in thinking that.  I do think that her wondering about it is an assumption about what other people are thinking.  That's all that I meant.

For all she knew, they may have been thinking, "Oh that frozen rutabaga-pea-shrimp casserole looks yummy, I ought to go pick one up."

It's not an assumption, interesting or otherwise. She's just wondering if that's what they are thinking, not assuming that it is what they are thinking.
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Kitty Hawk

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You are splitting hairs.  I still think that her wondering about it indicates an assumption on her part.


Wonderflonium

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Re: Wish I had thought of this a number of weeks ago at the supermarket
« Reply #10 on: May 06, 2011, 02:01:49 PM »
You are splitting hairs.  I still think that her wondering about it indicates an assumption on her part.

I disagree.

Also, I'm not sure if you know, but we try to avoid using the "interesting assumption" line on other board members.
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supernova

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Re: Wish I had thought of this a number of weeks ago at the supermarket
« Reply #11 on: May 06, 2011, 02:37:58 PM »
Indeed, OP; you are to be praised for not retaliating.  One has to wonder at how deeply unhappy someone must be in order to make snarky comments about disabled people at the grocery store.  :(

As far as interesting grocery assumptions:  If you're ever worried that someone's going to be making assumptions about what's in the cart, just grab a large plastic tarp and a gallon of cooking oil.  ;)  That'll give them something to assume about... 

Wonderflonium

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Re: Wish I had thought of this a number of weeks ago at the supermarket
« Reply #12 on: May 06, 2011, 02:42:55 PM »
Indeed, OP; you are to be praised for not retaliating.  One has to wonder at how deeply unhappy someone must be in order to make snarky comments about disabled people at the grocery store.  :(

As far as interesting grocery assumptions:  If you're ever worried that someone's going to be making assumptions about what's in the cart, just grab a large plastic tarp and a gallon of cooking oil.  ;)  That'll give them something to assume about... 

Choking on Dr. Pepper is painful!  ;D
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Fleur-de-Lis

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Re: Wish I had thought of this a number of weeks ago at the supermarket
« Reply #13 on: May 06, 2011, 02:44:23 PM »

(snip)

As far as interesting grocery assumptions:  If you're ever worried that someone's going to be making assumptions about what's in the cart, just grab a large plastic tarp and a gallon of cooking oil.  ;)  That'll give them something to assume about...  

Also peanut butter and turkey basters.  

I frequently look at my cart and wonder what other people would make of its contents.
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Red1979

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Re: Wish I had thought of this a number of weeks ago at the supermarket
« Reply #14 on: May 06, 2011, 02:50:07 PM »
Who are these people who care so much about others groceries?  What are they the grocery police?  It's ridiculous.  I tried to think about comments I've received on what's in my cart--one time I was asked about how I cook brussel sprouts (they were in the cart) and I shared my recipe.  A few times people have asked me where I found X item.  That's it.  And I've shopped for parties where I've had plenty of "unhealthy" items in my cart.  I don't think I'd be able to stop myself from going on some Julia Sugarbaker rant if anyone tried to comment negatively on what I'm buying.

Oh and if you *really* want to get some strange looks--go to the store and buy just one item--a can of whipped cream.  I once forgot frosting for a dessert I was making and took a quick trip to the grocery to get some whipped cream instead...

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