SO, once I convince someone to host an event for me, how do I make it work?

[dawbs]

before y'all cast me into e-hell (where I very well may deserve to be, my heart may be in the right place but I AM meddling and inviting myself over to people's houses!)

back story:
My parents are good people.  MY ILs are good people.  They all get along (thank goodness!).

I am NOT much of a hostess.  I try, but I prefer to be a guest (potential guests probably prefer it too
!)

Mr. Dawb's grandfather died 2 weeks ago.  It has been a challenging Holiday season, and we've all been doing our darnedest (granted, not altogether successfully, but we're trying) to look after grandma.

We had it on good authority that grandma didn't exactly want to stay home on New Year's.  For the last several years, she and grandfather and MIL and FIL have made plans to go out somewhere swanky.

For a lot of reasons (including $ and failure to plan ahead w/ everything that's happening), that isn't happening.  If we all made plans to go out at this late date, grandma would assume it was a pity gesture and wouldn't come.  Our (very small) house doesn't easily hold many people and an invite from us would probably still be considered "pity" and be declined.

Enter the parents Dawbs.

My parents didn't have New Year's eve plans yet.  There was talk of their church group doing something but I preempted that.  I explained the situation, and convinced them to host a party.

So they made phone calls to invite the ILs and grandmother over for New Years.
Grandmother hasn't committed yet, but we think she'll come--this is an invite from my parents and won't likely be seen as "pity".

My parents were enthusiastic and willing.  They won't ask me to do a dang thing...but I very much want to help, seeing as I imposed at the last minute 

I told my mom I would come over on the 30th to help clean.
I told my dad I would make desserts and buy whatever appetizers are needed.
I promised to bring euchre decks, trivial pursuit and a few DVD's.


Since, in name, this is NOT my party, but in reality, it is all coming about because I was meddling...what should I do to make all lives easier?  Besides (obviously) keeping my mouth shut about it being "my" party ...what else can I be helpful with?

(I obviously don't host much...so I have NO IDEA what goes into parties.  I make a MUCH better guest than I do hostess!)

[Alida]

Give your parents a great big hug and something special for doing this for you.  And what a sweet thing to think of doing for Grandmother after losing her husband.

I hope it all goes well - good luck and I hope the holiday is a good one for all of you!

[Suze]

My parents were enthusiastic and willing.  They won't ask me to do a dang thing...but I very much want to help, seeing as I imposed at the last minute 

I told my mom I would come over on the 30th to help clean.
I told my dad I would make desserts and buy whatever appetizers are needed.
I promised to bring euchre decks, trivial pursuit and a few DVD's.


Since, in name, this is NOT my party, but in reality, it is all coming about because I was meddling...what should I do to make all lives easier?  Besides (obviously) keeping my mouth shut about it being "my" party ...what else can I be helpful with?

(I obviously don't host much...so I have NO IDEA what goes into parties.  I make a MUCH better guest than I do hostess!)

Sounds like you have a real good start on a party --

Don't forget to get drinks to go with the rest of the food. (we almost did that one year, talk about stupid)

If we are having a stay till after midnight party, you might want to think about serving a "breakfast thing" before everyone goes home.

I have hosted parties at friends houses before.  I sort of treat it like a rented hall -- once the house is cleaned up and ready for the party (which I help with) They do nothing as hosts, it's my party and they are my guests. (and I clean up as much as I can later)

[gjcva1]

dawbs, i'm not about to toss you into e-hell.  how considerate of you to try to help Grandma during what has to be a very difficult time.  and blessings on your parents for helping too. 

[Lisbeth]

I'd be sure to follow up and do exactly as you have promised, and then later, at a time when it's convenient for you and your parents, treat them to a special meal or something else that they would really like.

[JoyinVirginia]

Could you see if your mom wants you to buy some festive New year's paper plates, napkins, and cups? That way clean up is much quicker, no dishes to wash!
joy in Virginia

[dawbs]

ooh, paper plates/cups, good call.

I bought soft drinks (My folks don't drink and don't like it in their house, so I don't have to buy bubbly)

And I told them I owed them dinner and a day of grandpa-sitting for this :-)

[Suze]

You could always get the sparkling grape juice, You can have the fun of bubbly without the side effects.

Oh and don't forget the ice, unless your parents are one of the lucky ones with an ice maker.

[dawbs]

and the update is...

everything went well.

I don't think grandmother liked the games (mental note, cranium is apparently to "hands on" and she didn't like 80's trivial pursuit)--but we can only try there, because we've yet to find any games she likes, and we've been trying for years.

And there were even a few canolli left over for me