"Babies having babies!"

[Micah]

I'm in a young Mum's group in my area. My town is the poorest in my state. We're very isolated and have the highest rate of unemployment and one of the highest rates of teenage pregnancy. Technically the group is only for mothers under 25. I'm now 28, but I was 25 when I was pregnant, so they let me stay   . We have mothers who were as young as fifteen when they fell pregnant. Every single one of them is a devoted, caring parent. All of them have some story about being treated with contempt and disgust because of their age. Sometimes it has been medical professionals treating them this way!

 

[Asharah]

I wonder if I should buy Tshirts for younger niece and her kids. "I'm The Big Sister" for the 12-year-old, "I'm The Little Sister" for the 3-year-old, and maybe "Yup, They're Both Mine" for their mom. Might spare them from being verbally attacked by some demented little-old-lady because big sis is pushing little sis on the swing while mom runs to the bathroom. 
Although if they happen to have other niece's boys with them, the older boy (13) might need a shirt saying, "I'm the cousin, not the baby daddy."

By the way, I have brothers 16, 14, and 8 years older than me, and sisters 12 & 10 years older than me, and the ones I've asked say they never had problems like this if they took me out.

[Sharnita]

my brother is 12 years older than my youngest sister and when she was a kid some of her friends did ask if he was her brother.  one day he went to school to pick her up when she got sick and realized when he got there that he wasn't on the emergency form.  The secretary didn't know him but as soon as he explained who he was she let him take my sister because of the obvious fmaily resemblance.  I'm sure some people out in public saw them and assumed he was her dad.

[Brentwood]

Why does the person holding the child have to be a parent. It can be a cousins, aunt, or older siblings. I was lectured a couple of times for being a teen mom - the children in question are 1st cousins once removed.

That's what I say. My daughter was 12 when #2 was born and 14 when #3 was born. There were many times when she was "a teenager with a baby on her hip", but she's their sister, not their mother!

[Brentwood]

It's better than the other way around.    A girlfriend of mine was recently shopping with her young daughter.  The shop assistant asked her if the little one was her granddaughter.  Friend is in her late 30s and her DD is 3.  Certainly mathematically possible, but as an assumption???

Think friend went and booked a holiday.   

Yeah. When I was 40 and my son was 5, I brought him with me to vote. The woman at the polling place asked my son if he was "helping Grandma today."

I was tired, sure, but I was quite positive I didn't look old enough to be the grandmother of a 5-year-old.

[BeagleMommy]

I got this once while babysitting a friend's younger sister.  Friend was 15 when her youngest sister was born and we were walking her around a street fair when two little busybodies came up and said "Whichever of you she belongs to should be ashamed to be seen in public".  We were both wearing our high school cheerleading jackets.  Friend had the best reaction:

"I'll be sure to tell her mother when we take her home"

[Brentwood]

I got this once while babysitting a friend's younger sister.  Friend was 15 when her youngest sister was born and we were walking her around a street fair when two little busybodies came up and said "Whichever of you she belongs to should be ashamed to be seen in public".  We were both wearing our high school cheerleading jackets.  Friend had the best reaction:

"I'll be sure to tell her mother when we take her home"

Perfect!

Frankly, I think the people who go around telling others how ashamed they should be are truly the ones who should be ashamed.

[Minmom3]

Perfect!

Frankly, I think the people who go around telling others how ashamed they should be are truly the ones who should be ashamed.

Absolutely.  There is NO benevolent reason to say such a thing, and people do not need to go around being nasty just because their mouth opens and words fall out!

[figleaf]

I had this happen to me when I was out with DD1.  It was my 27th (27th!!!) birthday that night, and my sis and I were at a chain restaurant, and I had DD1, then about 8 months old, bouncing on my lap.  A woman across the aisle had the most superior, sucked a lemon look on her face, when she said something like "I can't believe you have a baby!  You're so YOUNG!!!"  She was clearly judging me.  I had so much fun turning it right back on her.  I said "Wow, thanks for the complement!  I'm 27!  I'm glad to know I look so young!" The woman was completely gobsmacked, and paid her bill and huffed off a minute or two later without making any further comment.  DSis thought it was hilarious.  I'd like to think it taught that snotty lady to keep her unwanted opinions to herself, but sadly, I doubt it.  She probably blamed me for having the audacity to look young.

[Elfmama]

It's better than the other way around.    A girlfriend of mine was recently shopping with her young daughter.  The shop assistant asked her if the little one was her granddaughter.  Friend is in her late 30s and her DD is 3.  Certainly mathematically possible, but as an assumption???

Think friend went and booked a holiday.   

Yeah. When I was 40 and my son was 5, I brought him with me to vote. The woman at the polling place asked my son if he was "helping Grandma today."

I was tired, sure, but I was quite positive I didn't look old enough to be the grandmother of a 5-year-old.

It's not impossible to be a grandparent before one hits 30.  All it takes is two generations of early-teen pregnancy.

[Brentwood]

It's better than the other way around.    A girlfriend of mine was recently shopping with her young daughter.  The shop assistant asked her if the little one was her granddaughter.  Friend is in her late 30s and her DD is 3.  Certainly mathematically possible, but as an assumption???

Think friend went and booked a holiday.   

Yeah. When I was 40 and my son was 5, I brought him with me to vote. The woman at the polling place asked my son if he was "helping Grandma today."

I was tired, sure, but I was quite positive I didn't look old enough to be the grandmother of a 5-year-old.

It's not impossible to be a grandparent before one hits 30.  All it takes is two generations of early-teen pregnancy.

Yes. I know.

I still think it's a bit off to assume a 40yo is the grandparent of a 5yo, and give voice to that assumption. She was clearly not assuming I was a woman in my 30s who'd been made an early grandparent.

[Elfmama]

It's better than the other way around.    A girlfriend of mine was recently shopping with her young daughter.  The shop assistant asked her if the little one was her granddaughter.  Friend is in her late 30s and her DD is 3.  Certainly mathematically possible, but as an assumption???

Think friend went and booked a holiday.   

Yeah. When I was 40 and my son was 5, I brought him with me to vote. The woman at the polling place asked my son if he was "helping Grandma today."

I was tired, sure, but I was quite positive I didn't look old enough to be the grandmother of a 5-year-old.

It's not impossible to be a grandparent before one hits 30.  All it takes is two generations of early-teen pregnancy.

Yes. I know.

I still think it's a bit off to assume a 40yo is the grandparent of a 5yo, and give voice to that assumption. She was clearly not assuming I was a woman in my 30s who'd been made an early grandparent.

True. Considering modern fertility options, that woman in her 60's might be the 5yo's mother instead of her grandmother.  (I personally would not want to be chasing a toddler now, in my 50's, but whatever floats some people's boats....)

[TomatoBunny]

A couple and their great nephew (I know cause the man was quite talkative and told me as much) sat down on the floor next to me and at one point he nodded towards a young woman with a baby on her hip and said "She looks like a teenager. Man, so many babies having babies these days!" (He looked to be in his 50's or maybe 60's-I'm a terrible judge of age based on looks)

Is it just me or does anyone see the irony that the man in question is out with his great nephew and he's making assumptions about the young woman's relation to the child in her care. 

[Steve]

While I was in highschool I had a friend that was quite a bit older than me (23 or so). I did a lot of babysitting for her at the time. She had 2 kids from different fathers and this was clearly noticable.
At some point she was waiting for me outside the school and some of the kids in my class approached her and asked her which kid was mine.... she kept a straight face and just pointed one out.

Al though my highschool people thought I had a 2 year old at home. I only found this out at my last reunion, when people were asking about my kid and I did not have any yet....  

[Hollanda]

When I was a kid, I did a lot of babysitting, mainly for 2 little half Spanish lads. When I started looking after them, they were 3 and newborn.  As my confidence grew with the kids, I started taking them into town. On one occasion, I had a man (30-ish?) approach me and say "Are these yours?" I was so horrified. The eldest boy (5 at the time) said, "No, she's our babysitter, she's only 15!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" You have to hand it to children, they tell the truth!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I just smiled and walked away with the children.

In addition, I had boys I was going to school with at the time, making stupid comments ("Quick work, Holl!"). I would just roll my eyes and ignore such comments. 

Some people ought to just think before they pass judgement.