A Civil World. Off-topic discussions on a variety of topics. > Humor Me!

Why your family could be on Jerry Springer...

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Bibliophile:
This situation with learning that I have a half-sister, plus all the other stuff that's happened between my parents, makes me sooo glad that we don't air our issues in public (well, eHell doesn't count, right?).  I've talked with other friends and most of them have stories that would qualify for a Springer special.  What's happened to you that you would have trouble believing if it happened to someone else?

violinp:
My dad had some of the worst excuses for human beings in his family. I'm eternally grateful I've never really known most of them.

Examples:
His mother and one aunt were more than willing to beat him 'til he bled.
One of his uncles was in drugs and ended up getting chainsawed to death. My family made 17 - year - old Dad identify the body.


Yeah, real charmers, ain't they?

ArizonaGirl77:
At one point my grandfather was engaged to my aunt. YES -you read that right.

It was my DAD'S dad who was engaged to my MOTHER'S sister. Add in that she was in her 30's and he was in his 60's and that just adds fuel to the fire!!! :)

I always have wondered if they HAD married what in the world I would have called her after knowing her as Auntie for 12+ years! :)

Bibliophile:
My dad has a cousin who caught his wife in bed with another man & shot him in a delicate area.  He had the choice to go to jail or the Army.  He chose the Army.  This was a LONG time ago.


--- Quote from: violinp on May 26, 2011, 11:17:28 AM ---One of his uncles was in drugs and ended up getting chainsawed to death. My family made 17 - year - old Dad identify the body.

--- End quote ---

 :o

jibby:
My step-uncle shot and killed his wife in front of one of their children, then turned the gun on himself. He lived to serve a whopping seven years in prison.  Once out, he was confused and hurt that his child (who witness the murder) chose to have an uncle walk her down the aisle at her wedding.

My aunt has received more than half a million dollars in various settlements over the years (clear, after medical bills, etc.).  Cost of living in her area is very low (a *very* nice, four-bedroom house averages $125,000).  She keeps letting her two granddaughters (who are on public assistance bc "working sucks") talk her into extravagant shopping trips and impulse buys.  She's broke now, and had a house foreclosed on.  And yes, her attorney and family (after each settlement) begged her to see a financial planner.

Btw, did you know that at least one state will pay for your lap band surgery bc "dieting sucks"?  And pay for your voluntary c-section bc "labor sucks"?  Apparently, however, they will *not* pay for a thesaurus... 

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