My first time using it and it failed.-sorry I babble

[angilamae]

I go to trivia at a bar every week (almost).  One of our team members, Woody, is someone that is falling farther and farther from my entire friend groups good graces. I've posted about him before but the bg is probably neither here nor there.
Last week we were very very bad at the trivia so we decided to go to another bar to have a drink and talk.
After that was done and it was time to go home, Woody was hammered.  This is nothing new.  Woody is generally pretty drunk after every trivia.  He also likes to go party in the university area after trivia too. (he is 35 but has not yet outgrown the frat boy scene I guess).  He sometimes will take a cab or claims he takes the bus (i actually think he drives but have no proof) up there.  So anyways last week when we were done he starts begging me and my other friend, Marty for a ride up there. 

I said no.  yay! 
Marty said no.  Go Mart
Woody says, why?
We gave various reasons why, mostly that it is out of both of our ways and he could take cab or bus.  His first response to the bus was, “well I would have to wait like ten minutes” Never mind that I used to have to wait far longer for the bus and he never once offered me a ride.

But Lo, what do I see at that moment?  A lovely bus coming right up, right when he said it.  Both Me and Marty told him to run for it, it goes right up to the U district.  But he would not.  So he started asking again for one of us to give a ride and started in with the guilt like the fact that he was sooo drunk he could not drive there (his car was near trivia).

Me:  Well, you don’t have to go, if you’re so drunk you probably shouldn’t. “  I know none of my business but he would not let up.

He keeps begging.  Seriously annoying this guy.

Me (here it is!):  “I’m sorry that won’t be possible”

But alas, it did not work because he KEPT ASKING.  I started ignoring it at that point but poor Marty caved in and offered the ride.  Saying that it would be the last time.  Sigh.  I really hope he sticks to his guns.

Tonight is trivia again so we will see what happens.  Woody is usually on better behavior when Marty’s bro is around as he will be tonight but I am not very optimistic.  But if he starts begging I plan on trying the line again.

[portugo]

Ugh, what an annoying person!  But you didn't fail with the phrase; it worked perfectly.  You didn't give him a ride, did you?   

[angilamae]

good point!

[gramma dishes]

In a case like this one, the line has to be a group line.  Everyone has to say it and everyone has to KEEP ON saying it.  Then it will be effective.

[WhiteTigerCub]

Here's where it goes.......  

I said no.  yay! 
Marty said no.  Go Mart
Woody says, why?
We gave various reasons why, mostly that it is out of both of our ways and he could take cab or bus. 

"I'm afraid that won't be possible."   *repeat* " Oh look, there's the bus...you better go so you don't miss it!"

Now get Marty in on it, to be sure he doesn't cave and end up giving the message that if Woody begs long enough he will give in.

[angilamae]

Yeah i do need to get Marty on it too.  I always get to trivia an hour and a half earlier and Marty have our buddy time so I will talk to him during that.

[Mikayla]

In a case like this one, the line has to be a group line.  Everyone has to say it and everyone has to KEEP ON saying it.  Then it will be effective.

Yep!  Make it a short mantra and don't get sidelined by answers to "why not"?  There's no upside to it, and if he's drunk, he'll forget it anyway. 

[toontownnutter]

Don't give reasons why the answer is no, you don't have to even if asked. With a nagger who repeatedly asks why just say "I don't want to is all I'm not doing it"

[bopper]

I think part of your problem was you were trying to reason with a drunk guy

This week, before trivia starts, tell Woody that he needs to plan his own ride home because neither you nor Marty will drive him.  Either it is the bus/taxi for him, or he should limit his drinking so that he can drive.

[ShadesOfGrey]

"That wont be possible" is not a magic bullet that gets people to stop asking.

It also doesnt matter whether other people in the group use it or not.

It's a refrain that protects you from having your reasons torn apart and having to come up with new ones.

So even if he keeps asking, the proper response is "Because it wont. It just wont be possible. Please dont ask again."

Good luck!

[O'Dell]

I agree that the line isn't a magic bullet. It can take some repeating with people. So your use of it was fine. It just takes some time for persistent people to learn you won't change your mind.

However, I don't think it's your concern what Marty does. He can give rides to Woody if he wants. He can say no to Woody if he wants. That's his business and you shouldn't answer for him or get too caught up in what decision he makes. Just keep on refusing to give Woody rides yourself and be a good example to Marty. If he sees it working for you, maybe he'll start responding the same way.

Good luck. Woody sounds like a real doozy.