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Author Topic: The MamaBear, the Bully and the Community Pool...(LONG!)  (Read 18456 times)

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magiccat26

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Re: The MamaBear, the Bully and the Community Pool...(LONG!)
« Reply #45 on: June 06, 2011, 06:21:25 PM »
I don't understand why mentioning the cell phone and MamaBear's inattention was at all wrong.  She got angry with Magiccat for "parenting" her child and Magiccat rightly pointed out that she (MC) had to step in since MB wasn't paying attention.  "I'm doing your job because you can't be bothered to do it yourself, and people are now in danger because of that" is a perfectly good response.

As usual, I agree with Art.

Talking on the cell while her child was in the water was totally relevant, and unless she was prepared to dive in fully clothed, so was the unspoken observation about her clothing.

I've spent enough time around kids and water to feel very strongly about safety. I've seen (and dove for) at least 5 kids who sank like rocks. I have no problems being a "mean" counselor, babysitter or mom. If Mom's checking out, I'm checking in because no kid deserves to die because any parent couldn't be bothered to pay attention.

And if they don't like it, they can remove their child from the pool because water safety is one thing I do not compromise on.

DH and I feel VERY strongly about water safety as well.  DH took and passed lifeguard training as a teen and Kitten has been in swim lessons every week since she was 3 years old.  It's one of the reasons one of us is ALWAYS in the water with our DD.  I just think some parents don't realize the real danger.  Drownding is a silent killer.  Kids rarely get a chance to splash and scream as they go under.  Many children drown in pools every year surrounded by friends and families.  We are determined that nothing like that will happen on our watch.
“If you can't be a good example, then you'll just have to be a horrible warning.” — Catherine Aird

boxy

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Re: The MamaBear, the Bully and the Community Pool...(LONG!)
« Reply #46 on: June 06, 2011, 06:30:46 PM »
If you're the "mean mom" then I WANT you at my pool!  We need more women like you who will stop the bullying.  I don't care if you had to grab Kelly and physically drag her by her hair to stop drowning the other child - safety trumps etiquette.  

Where was that other child's (drownee) mom?

magiccat26

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Re: The MamaBear, the Bully and the Community Pool...(LONG!)
« Reply #47 on: June 06, 2011, 06:32:43 PM »
For anyone who is interested in the facts:

http://www.cdc.gov/HomeandRecreationalSafety/Water-Safety/waterinjuries-factsheet.html

I'm beginning to seriously consider writing to the HOA as everyone suggested.  Perhaps instead of complaining about MamaBear, I should encourage them to publish some additional information about pool safety with the statistics. (And perhaps something about bullying too!)  Sometimes I just think parents need more information.

One section of the article above really stood out for me:

Quote
To help prevent water-related injuries:1, 5, 7, 9, 10, 12

Supervision when in or around the Water. Designate a responsible adult to watch young children while in the bath and all children swimming or playing in or around water. Supervisors of preschool children should provide “touch supervision”, be close enough to reach the child at all times.  Adults should not be involved in any other distracting activity (such as reading, playing cards, talking on the phone, or mowing the lawn) while supervising children.
“If you can't be a good example, then you'll just have to be a horrible warning.” — Catherine Aird

magiccat26

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Re: The MamaBear, the Bully and the Community Pool...(LONG!)
« Reply #48 on: June 06, 2011, 06:33:29 PM »
Where was that other child's (drownee) mom?

I think she was supervising the younger sibling.
“If you can't be a good example, then you'll just have to be a horrible warning.” — Catherine Aird

Twik

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Re: The MamaBear, the Bully and the Community Pool...(LONG!)
« Reply #49 on: June 06, 2011, 06:41:16 PM »
I think that Mommabear and Cub lost their right to complain about your "interference" when Cub went to play with *your* group and *your* toys. When I was growing up, it was accepted that if you played at someone else's house, the parents there had a right to discipline you (assuming they were not abusive). They didn't have to watch you wreck the house, or abuse their own children, while waiting for your parents to show up.
"The sky's the limit. Your sky. Your limit. Now, let's dance!"

shhh its me

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Re: The MamaBear, the Bully and the Community Pool...(LONG!)
« Reply #50 on: June 06, 2011, 06:53:55 PM »
  Oh , I forgot to say , I completely agree whit what you did.  The silence might of been at the awkwardness. You can be 100% right , take an absolutely necessary action and still create/contribute to an awkward situation. Awkward does not mean inappropriate , you were 100% appropriate. It would of been a lot more awkward if the other child were seriously harmed.
« Last Edit: June 06, 2011, 06:55:56 PM by Merry Mrs Martin »

boxy

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Re: The MamaBear, the Bully and the Community Pool...(LONG!)
« Reply #51 on: June 06, 2011, 06:54:18 PM »
Where was that other child's (drownee) mom?

I think she was supervising the younger sibling.

I'm sure if she had seen what was going on she would've been all over the bully, but on her behalf I thank you for what you did.  You ROCK!

violinp

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Re: The MamaBear, the Bully and the Community Pool...(LONG!)
« Reply #52 on: June 06, 2011, 06:54:49 PM »
My sister and I would pull pranks on each other in the community pool, but it was like snapping each others' swimsuits. We would have never held each other under the water, and that bully should have been soundly punished.

Even when someone isn't "helping" the drowning, it's so easy for a kid to drown. When I was 11, a friend of mine and I were swimming in the 12 - foot area, and he got tired and started to sink. Our other friends looked over, but kept on talking. I jumped into the water, grabbed him and pulled him to safety. Then everyone - get this - gave me the stink - eye and said, "Oh, he was fine. You shouldn't have babied him." Um, your friend was DYING out there, literally. Ever since then, I've been on the lookout for kids at the pool who look tired or like they're struggling.

That mother is lucky the girl her daughter was bullying didn't pay for a parenting mistake with her life.
"It takes a great deal of courage to stand up to your enemies, but even more to stand up to your friends" - Harry Potter


boxy

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Re: The MamaBear, the Bully and the Community Pool...(LONG!)
« Reply #53 on: June 06, 2011, 06:55:28 PM »
Yes - please do report the facts of this incident to the HOA.  

Venus193

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Re: The MamaBear, the Bully and the Community Pool...(LONG!)
« Reply #54 on: June 06, 2011, 08:43:29 PM »
MagiCat, don't hold anything back.  I'm willing to bet that Kelly has bullied other kids in the past.  A safety issue is nothing to obfuscate.





magiccat26

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Re: The MamaBear, the Bully and the Community Pool...(LONG!)
« Reply #55 on: June 06, 2011, 08:58:43 PM »
MagiCat, don't hold anything back.  I'm willing to bet that Kelly has bullied other kids in the past.  A safety issue is nothing to obfuscate.

Kelly was in class with my friend's daughter and she is a confirmed bully both on land and in the water.  When another friend heard about the incident; without even hearing the child's name, she asked, "Was it Kelly?". So that indicates, to me anyway, that Kelly is well known for this type of behavior.  Kitten hasn't been in a class with her yet, and I'm praying our luck holds next year too!
“If you can't be a good example, then you'll just have to be a horrible warning.” — Catherine Aird

weeblewobble

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Re: The MamaBear, the Bully and the Community Pool...(LONG!)
« Reply #56 on: June 06, 2011, 09:07:11 PM »
MagiCat, don't hold anything back.  I'm willing to bet that Kelly has bullied other kids in the past.  A safety issue is nothing to obfuscate.

Kelly was in class with my friend's daughter and she is a confirmed bully both on land and in the water. 

She's an amphibious bully!

Doll Fiend

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Re: The MamaBear, the Bully and the Community Pool...(LONG!)
« Reply #57 on: June 06, 2011, 09:18:39 PM »
MagiCat, don't hold anything back.  I'm willing to bet that Kelly has bullied other kids in the past.  A safety issue is nothing to obfuscate.

Kelly was in class with my friend's daughter and she is a confirmed bully both on land and in the water. 

She's an amphibious bully!
*Snort*
Glad I put down my Coke before I read that!

weeblewobble

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Re: The MamaBear, the Bully and the Community Pool...(LONG!)
« Reply #58 on: June 06, 2011, 10:24:57 PM »
MagiCat, don't hold anything back.  I'm willing to bet that Kelly has bullied other kids in the past.  A safety issue is nothing to obfuscate.

Kelly was in class with my friend's daughter and she is a confirmed bully both on land and in the water. 

She's an amphibious bully!
*Snort*
Glad I put down my Coke before I read that!

Thank you, I'm here all week!

PinkWildRose

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Re: The MamaBear, the Bully and the Community Pool...(LONG!)
« Reply #59 on: June 06, 2011, 10:34:37 PM »
My sister used to hold me underwater and I'm still afraid to swim.  When i would complain to my mum, she told  me not to bother her.  So yes, OP, you did that child a favour.