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Author Topic: The MamaBear, the Bully and the Community Pool...(LONG!)  (Read 17520 times)

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Sophia

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Re: The MamaBear, the Bully and the Community Pool...(LONG!)
« Reply #90 on: June 12, 2011, 02:23:01 PM »
Not that you should have, but imagine the EvilMom was nearby and paying a little bit of attention, and you did ask EvilMom to handle it.  What would she have done?  I think it would have been something wimpy and underhanded to the victim.   Maybe, "Sweetie?  Sweeetie?  You need to stop letting that other child be mean to you.  There is a mom giving me the evil eye.  Sweetie?  Sweetie?  Did you hear me?  I' like you to stop soon.  If you drown that child I won't buy you ice cream. "

NutMeg

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Re: The MamaBear, the Bully and the Community Pool...(LONG!)
« Reply #91 on: June 12, 2011, 02:33:16 PM »
I need a picture update on Nessie. I won't believe she is happy in her new garden until you prove it.

Proof http://www.etiquettehell.com/smf/index.php?topic=97138.0   ;D

Yay!
"You're hostages! This is a life-and-death situation here. Start acting like it! We're your captors. We're armed. There's rules. There's a whole school of etiquette to this!" - Dr. Daniel Jackson                

kherbert05

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Re: The MamaBear, the Bully and the Community Pool...(LONG!)
« Reply #92 on: June 12, 2011, 04:46:39 PM »
Not that you should have, but imagine the EvilMom was nearby and paying a little bit of attention, and you did ask EvilMom to handle it.  What would she have done?  I think it would have been something wimpy and underhanded to the victim.   Maybe, "Sweetie?  Sweeetie?  You need to stop letting that other child be mean to you.  There is a mom giving me the evil eye.  Sweetie?  Sweetie?  Did you hear me?  I' like you to stop soon.  If you drown that child I won't buy you ice cream. "

Exactly. I don't look for parents when I see bullying going on. 9 times out of 10 the parents thank me for for stopping. One time I was driving down a street and saw an older boy dragging a younger one. The younger one was screaming help me. I stopped, hit the horn real quick, jump out and asked the younger boy are you all playing or do you need help.

Turned out the Dad was in the yard just out of my view. At first he was defensive, but I explained why I had stopped. He thanked me and told the boys they could yell things like I've been captured but not help. Help had to be reserved for actual emergency.

Another time I saw 2 adults chasing an oddly silent* child in a parking lot. The got her in the car and she jumped out the other side. Phone in hand with 911 dialed I yelled to the girl I was calling the cops did she need help. She stopped in her tracks and said no that's Mommy and Aunt someone. Then she got in the car. The Mom told me, "Thanks she is autistic and doesn't like the seat belt." The aunt said, "I'm surprised we having had the cops called yet - we know what it looks like." Still I memorized the license plate number and recorded it when I got in my car just in case. The car did have bumper stickers from an autistic advocacy group. I've seen the family several times sense then. They shop with some type of counselor helping them with the child's behaviors. (the woman wears an ID).

*most kids in trouble would scream for help, those pitching a fit would still be yelling or laughing. This kid nothing.
Don't Teach Them For Your Past. Teach Them For Their Future

sammycat

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Re: The MamaBear, the Bully and the Community Pool...(LONG!)
« Reply #93 on: June 12, 2011, 07:21:30 PM »
OP, you did exactly the right thing.  I would have reacted the same.  This was a 'safety trumps etiquette' situation IMO.

Danismom

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Re: The MamaBear, the Bully and the Community Pool...(LONG!)
« Reply #94 on: June 13, 2011, 01:07:45 AM »
OP, you did great!

You let Kelly participate longer than I probably would have but I have very little patience for that kind of behavior. 

When her mother started giving you a hard time, I would have said something more along the lines of "We've had several issues and I wasn't sure who Kelly was with.  Now that I know you are her parent, I will send her to you if she misbehaves in my presence.  Thank you for clarifying.  Just so you know, Kelly almost drowned another child.  I trust you will handle the discipline issues for that now that you know what happened.  Thanks."

But then that's with a lot of distance.  In the moment, I would probably have said things that would catch a lot more flak on ehell than what you are getting!

iridaceae

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Re: The MamaBear, the Bully and the Community Pool...(LONG!)
« Reply #95 on: June 13, 2011, 02:23:03 AM »
Ten is old enough to make her understand she is responsible for obeying the rules.  Don't know if you can push this through, but I'd make all kids say 10 or so and above read and sign something that says "I have read and agree to obey the swimming pool rules. If I don't I understand I can be banned from using the pool."
Nothing to see here.

UpdatedName

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Re: The MamaBear, the Bully and the Community Pool...(LONG!)
« Reply #96 on: June 13, 2011, 06:58:10 AM »
Add me to those who were held underwater as a kid and nearly drowned. I wish there'd have been a mom like you around.

Bill_P

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Re: The MamaBear, the Bully and the Community Pool...(LONG!)
« Reply #97 on: June 13, 2011, 02:09:10 PM »
In my opinion you weren't nasty enough to that kid's mom, considering that her daughter nearly DROWNED another kid!  Maybe de-emphasize the fact that she was on her cell phone & instead just make her aware that she was not paying attention while her kid held another kid underwater & you had to act quickly - the other kid's life is WAY more important than following an unwritten protocol in this situation.

Twik

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Re: The MamaBear, the Bully and the Community Pool...(LONG!)
« Reply #98 on: June 14, 2011, 09:19:19 AM »
Not that you should have, but imagine the EvilMom was nearby and paying a little bit of attention, and you did ask EvilMom to handle it.  What would she have done?  I think it would have been something wimpy and underhanded to the victim.   Maybe, "Sweetie?  Sweeetie?  You need to stop letting that other child be mean to you.  There is a mom giving me the evil eye.  Sweetie?  Sweetie?  Did you hear me?  I' like you to stop soon.  If you drown that child I won't buy you ice cream. "

Oooh, yeah.
"The sky's the limit. Your sky. Your limit. Now, let's dance!"

ShadesOfGrey

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Re: The MamaBear, the Bully and the Community Pool...(LONG!)
« Reply #99 on: June 14, 2011, 01:47:08 PM »
Any update on this OP?
Words mean more than what is set down on paper. It takes the human voice to infuse them with shades of deeper meaning. - Maya Angelou

I've learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel. - Maya Angelou