Co-Worker - When you think he likes you back, but just can't be sure! Update p8

[Petticoats]

Thanks for your advice everyone.  I've decided to keep with the gentle flirting and being friends and see where it goes for now.

It's great fun, we've been chatting loads, like yesterday for 2 hours and not getting much work done...

Then today I popped by his office to give him a file (handy ) and he looked at his watch and was like, "wow, it's lunch time, do you fancy taking a walk to get coffee?"  So of course, yes I do.  So we grab coffee, take a slightly long route back to our building and then he's like "wow, great weather, I'm going to sit out here, I spy a bench in the sun". So I said I'd join him and we had a great conversation for half an hour. About stuff we watched on TV as kids, he was asking about my family, plenty of laughter. Then he had to go to a meeting with someone so I said I really should do some work and he was like, "ok cool, see you later".

So, progress I think, but not scary too fast risking working situation progress. Good I think.

Nice update! Sounds like letting it take its own course is working well. Keep us posted.

[gramma dishes]

Add me to the minions who suggest continuing as is, at least until the four months is up. 

Once the two of you are no longer working together he may be more comfortable asking you out.  If he doesn't, I don't think it would hurt to suggest something and see if he takes you up on it. 

But to avoid an uncomfortable and awkward work environment, I'd wait.  It's not that long. It just seems that way!   

[Samgirl2]

OP here

Seems to still be going well - eeek, so exciting!!  Ran into him in the corridor this morning on his way to meet with someone in another dept about some more freelance work, but he still stopped to ask how my week had been (he only does 2 days a week and not been in since Monday) etc and said he'd call me when he was done.

So he calls at 12.15 and says he's going to start editing if I want to come and join him. There's not strictly any need for me to be there but I go pick up a sandwich because it's lunchtime and arrive at his office where he's put out a comfy chair for me next to his, and tells me off when I automatically grab the old office chair I normally sit on. So we edit, we chat, we eat lunch and we laugh, for the next 3 hours.  Then he says he needs to take a break and get some fresh air.

I said sure, ok, see you later on then and he's like "aren't you coming with me?". So we go and sit outside for a while until it starts to rain and then back to his office for more editing.

So, nothing overt, no passes, but he's seems genuine and friendly and we can really laugh. I'm ok with playing the long game!

[gramma dishes]

I think what you've described sounds like just about perfect pacing.  Savor these moments!   

[LauraKat]

Samgirl, any update on this? He definitely seems to be showing all the signs of being into you

[Samgirl2]

Hi guys,

Well things still seem to be going well, but not progressing too fast.  Still chatting loads, eaten lunch together a couple of times and have progressed to the occasional text message now as well - I was tied up with another project this past week so wasn't working with him but he texted me first to ask my advice on something that he really didn't need me for, then again the following day to wish me luck for a big dinner thing I was organising that night so that's cool. Replied and he replied back. It wasn't awkward but not a long chat message.

Last week he told me his contract was being extended so he would be around longer. I told him that was great and he said "I think so, is it great?" so I think he was trying to guage the situation.  He also remembered I had gone to a spa with my sis and mum a couple of weeks ago and said he'd forgotten to ask how it went, and also that I'd miss my usual dance class due to the work thing I was tied up with - so he obviously remembers what I tell him!

[gramma dishes]

Wow ... he not only listens, he remembers!!

Hang in there.  That in itself makes him sound like a gem. 

[Addy]

Awww, he sounds so sweet, I think I might be falling for him too!   

[Samgirl2]

Ack, today has been puzzling!

We were due to film an interview with someone at 10.00. I had a dr's appt and got in at 9.40 to find an email from him saying it was put back to 10.30 and also a missed call on my phone. I headed down to the room about 10.10 cos I knew he'd be setting up and we chatted, the usual, how was your weekend etc. 

Filmed the interview, finished at 12pm, I helped him clear up and he asked my plans for the rest of the day. I told him I had a couple bits of paperwork to catch up on but was otherwise free (pause, thinking LUNCH!), but nothing so I said let's edit the interview. He said it would take a while to capture from the camera and he'd let me know when that was done and I could come down to his office and we'd go through it. Why did he ask my plans if he didn't want to do anything?

So, he emails at 2pm to say something went wrong and it's taking longer than he thought. Cue couple of emails jokey emails about the interview subject (who was less than captivating!) and then goes quiet. It gets to 3.30pm and I decide to take a break pop by his room. Usually he invites me in and is happy for me to sit there while he's doing stuff and we chat but today he just said he wasn't done yet and would let me know in a while. I said sure ok, I was just passing anyway, no worries.

It get's to 5.30pm and he sends me a text saying "wow that was a nightmare, let's do it tomorrow if we have time, have a good evening..."  We have two other interviews to do tomorrow which is why he mentioned the time thing.

The rational part of me says he was just busy, the camera was playing up and he didn't want to be distracted. The other part of me say "he's just not that into me!"

Hey ho, time will tell!

[Judah]

Ack, today has been puzzling!

We were due to film an interview with someone at 10.00. I had a dr's appt and got in at 9.40 to find an email from him saying it was put back to 10.30 and also a missed call on my phone. I headed down to the room about 10.10 cos I knew he'd be setting up and we chatted, the usual, how was your weekend etc. 

Filmed the interview, finished at 12pm, I helped him clear up and he asked my plans for the rest of the day. I told him I had a couple bits of paperwork to catch up on but was otherwise free (pause, thinking LUNCH!), but nothing so I said let's edit the interview. He said it would take a while to capture from the camera and he'd let me know when that was done and I could come down to his office and we'd go through it. Why did he ask my plans if he didn't want to do anything?

So, he emails at 2pm to say something went wrong and it's taking longer than he thought. Cue couple of emails jokey emails about the interview subject (who was less than captivating!) and then goes quiet. It gets to 3.30pm and I decide to take a break pop by his room. Usually he invites me in and is happy for me to sit there while he's doing stuff and we chat but today he just said he wasn't done yet and would let me know in a while. I said sure ok, I was just passing anyway, no worries.

It get's to 5.30pm and he sends me a text saying "wow that was a nightmare, let's do it tomorrow if we have time, have a good evening..."

The rational part of me says he was just busy, the camera was playing up and he didn't want to be distracted. The other part of me say "he's just not that into me!"

Hey ho, time will tell!

A. Why didn't you invite him to lunch?  He shouldn't have to always be the one to initiate things.

B. He was probably very busy and stressed about the malfunctioning camera.  Don't read too much into it.

[joraemi]

I like the sound of this!

It sounds to me like he was just busy on this most recent day that OP noted.

I met my husband at work.  :O)

[Samgirl2]

Boys are so confusing!

Ok, so last Friday we were out on a location shoot for a company video. He lives in the nearby city and doesn't have a car so I was driving and we had a great day. Relaxed, out in the sunshine, really working well together now - we know exactly what the other one is going to do next etc -  had lunch together and it was nice to be out of the office.  He seemed really into talking to me over lunch and we found yet more stuff we have in common. On the way home in the car he was going through my music collections, shoes off, sitting comfy and arm on the back of my drivers seat.  We sang along with the radio and laughed a lot.  We'd been out in the sun all day and he'd been saying we would end up sunburnt etc . So, when I got home and looked in the mirror I was indeed pretty red, oops. I texted him to say he was right, I looked really stupid and would pretty much 'glow' at the party I was going to! He replied to say he'd just got ready to go out with his brother and looked in the mirror and felt a complete idiot, it must be worse than mine and to have a great party.

Monday back in the office was back to normal, friendly chatty but not as relaxed as when we'd been out and about.  Then yesterday (Tuesday) we were filming soundbites at a company event and he seemed much more relaxed again, touching my arm in conversation, winding me up with comments etc until while he was standing next to me I said something playful but a bit sharp back and he stepped forward really fast and really close into me, looking me right in the eyes and saying 'why you...!' and then stepped back quickly. I swear, I thought he was going to kiss me, but we were in the middle of a busy function!  After we finished he said he was going to take 15 mins break and enjoy the sunshine before going back to his office and I was 'most welcome to join him'. So that was fine, but no more passes appeared.

Today he was friendly, seemed to be trying his best to wind me up again and quite caring, asking about a problem I'm going through at the moment related to the part of my job that doesn't involve him and giving advice.  He seems to feel comfortable with me and has asked for advice on stuff that's happening in his life and opened up with lots of funny little quirks etc that I get the feeling a lot of people don't know. I have been doing the same, I smile, I keep eye contact, I ask about stuff that's going on with him, I invite him for coffee.....I really don't know what else i can do and yet he doesn't ask me out or take things any further.

The more time I spend with him the more I like him as a person. He's not what many people would say was conventionally handsome but to me he's really really cute. I catch a glance of him sometimes and my heart skips a beat and I am obsessed with the way he smells. Seriously, I never, ever get like this!

We won't see each other for 2 weeks now as I'm going on vacation and it's driving me nuts!

[wyozozo]

I say it's time YOU ask him to lunch or dinner.

[cbcb]

I say it's time YOU ask him to lunch or dinner.

I agree! Actually, the vacation is really good timing if you're not going out of town - wait a few days and send him an email "I'm feeling chat deprived - want to grab lunch tomorrow?"

[rashea]

You've listed plenty of things he's doing to show his interest. What are you doing to show yours? Right now he may be convinced you're not interested in anything more than being friends. Make a move and see what happens.