Author Topic: Co-Worker - When you think he likes you back, but just can't be sure! Update p8  (Read 39326 times)

0 Members and 1 Guest are viewing this topic.

Hunter-Gatherer

  • Member
  • **
  • Posts: 918
Re: Co-Worker - When you think he likes you back, but just can't be sure!
« Reply #45 on: July 25, 2011, 11:26:34 PM »
I feel like I've made it obvious enough that I like him but maybe I haven't? Any more hints I can drop? He is not in my workplace again until next week now, when I will be flying off on vacation, so no chance of seeing him for 2 weeks.

Stop hinting!  Please.  For your sake as well as his.  Not everyone reads hints the same way that you do.  What you think is obvious may not be obvious to him.  Find some activity that you can do together and ask him.  Ask now for when you're going to be back from vacation.

POD! POD!  Poddity pod pod!

There are a lot of guys out there who are just TERRIBLE at picking up signals that a woman is interested.  Take the initiative, remove all doubt.  It'll work out. :)

joraemi

  • Hero Member
  • ***
  • Posts: 3798
  • Crystal of Enchantment - my current project
Re: Co-Worker - When you think he likes you back, but just can't be sure!
« Reply #46 on: July 26, 2011, 09:23:01 AM »
I feel like I've made it obvious enough that I like him but maybe I haven't? Any more hints I can drop? He is not in my workplace again until next week now, when I will be flying off on vacation, so no chance of seeing him for 2 weeks.

Stop hinting!  Please.  For your sake as well as his.  Not everyone reads hints the same way that you do.  What you think is obvious may not be obvious to him.  Find some activity that you can do together and ask him.  Ask now for when you're going to be back from vacation.

POD! POD!  Poddity pod pod!

There are a lot of guys out there who are just TERRIBLE at picking up signals that a woman is interested.  Take the initiative, remove all doubt.  It'll work out. :)

Before my husband and I were dating, he tried to get his brother to ask me out - he was leaving for school and wanted me to be with a nice guy to watch out for me - his brother said, "Are you crazy?  She likes YOU!!"  Dh was like, "Wha...??????"

Some men can't work with hints.  Be blunt.




Courage is the price life  exacts for granting peace.  ~Amelia Earhart~

iridaceae

  • Boring in real life as well
  • Hero Member
  • ***
  • Posts: 3884
Re: Co-Worker - When you think he likes you back, but just can't be sure!
« Reply #47 on: July 26, 2011, 09:28:49 AM »

Some men can't work with hints.  Be blunt.

It's more accurate to say some people can't work with hints; I've met plenty of women who can't.

joraemi

  • Hero Member
  • ***
  • Posts: 3798
  • Crystal of Enchantment - my current project
Re: Co-Worker - When you think he likes you back, but just can't be sure!
« Reply #48 on: July 26, 2011, 07:06:10 PM »

Some men can't work with hints.  Be blunt.

It's more accurate to say some people can't work with hints; I've met plenty of women who can't.

So true!!  lol  I guess I was being situation specific.  Of course, who knows, maybe he's on some chat board somewhere saying, "I just don't' know what else to do!  I've done everything except throw myself at her feet!"  LOL




Courage is the price life  exacts for granting peace.  ~Amelia Earhart~

prairie_dances

  • Member
  • **
  • Posts: 145
Re: Co-Worker - When you think he likes you back, but just can't be sure!
« Reply #49 on: August 23, 2011, 12:11:17 PM »
If you don't mind, just bumping for updates. Hope it all worked out :)
"It does not do to dwell on dreams and forget to live." - Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Stone

                                     
New York

Samgirl2

  • Member
  • **
  • Posts: 232
Re: Co-Worker - When you think he likes you back, but just can't be sure!
« Reply #50 on: August 24, 2011, 03:14:47 PM »
If you don't mind, just bumping for updates. Hope it all worked out :)

It's pretty much the same, maybe creeping closer to getting somewhere!

We text now and then outside of work, on days he's not in. Thats pretty much 50/50 on who initiates. 

Last week I had an interview for a promotion which I got (still working with him). He'd been running though pretend interview questions with me and offered to listen to my presentation and really helpful. Obviously I was dressed up for the interview and he did the full head to toe gaze and told me I looked great. then just stared and grinned. I got invited out for coffee by a colleague as a congrats (female colleague) and told him why I was popping out but would be back later. Dropped by his office just before lunchtime and we were chatting about work and he asked about who I'd gone for coffee with and I really hoped he would suggest celebrating my promotion, I mean, perfect reason right? But nothing! I didn't feel I could suggest because the new job means I supervise his schedule and it felt a bit weird. I'm not officially his boss but I guess I am senior to him now.

This week I needed to work on writing for a piece of film he was editing and it was really annoying being in a separate office across the building. He told me to go and borrow a laptop from IT and just spend the day in his office. It was awesome. I feel totally relaxed in his company and we had a really good banter going and were laughing so much our boss (in next door office) commented on what all the fun was about.  However when it came to lunch etc he just said he was popping out and would be back in a bit.

I needed to get the computer back to IT at the end of the day and when I mentioned it he said 'just keep it for tomorrow and stay here, it's more fun and you know it makes sense' so I did.  Again, so much laughing but also more chatting too, about what school was like, how we were both kind of geeky and outcast, what our childhoods were like etc. Our boss was in the office next door and both doors were open all day, but she left mid afternoon. As soon as she had gone he asked me to go outside with him for some fresh air. There's loads of green space and as we were walking he suggested sitting on the grass but decided it was too damp and lead the way over to a bench. We chatted really easily for about 20 mins and both laughed loads.

Also we'd been talking about food and baking and so I took in in a piece of cake I'd baked at the weekend. The next day he was aksing for more!

He's been asking more about the nearby small town where I live. What's it like, what's the nightlife like, does it have a station, how far from the station to my house etc (remember he doesn't have a car and lives in nearby big city) and I keep thinking he's weighing up the possibilities of us dating but it's so very darn frustrating!

Addy

  • Member
  • **
  • Posts: 509
Re: Co-Worker - When you think he likes you back, but just can't be sure!
« Reply #51 on: August 24, 2011, 07:29:23 PM »
Samgirl, I know you're impatient, but my gosh, it just sounds like so much fun, savour it! I hope you don't mind if I'm vicariously enjoying your romance.

Maybe he's thinking the same way that you were at the beginning, that it would be best to wait until you are no longer working together. That might be even more important if you are now supervising him.

Good luck!

Samgirl2

  • Member
  • **
  • Posts: 232
Re: Co-Worker - When you think he likes you back, but just can't be sure!
« Reply #52 on: August 30, 2011, 12:04:37 PM »
Ok, bad update.  Crush is in the office today, suggests I grab a laptop and work in his office, getting along great, I'm happy. Then he's talking about his living situation (shared house) and says he's getting a bit restless.. I think he means he wants to get his own place or somthing but no, he's thinking of moving to Capital City 2 hours away!!

After further discussion it turns out he's wondering if he'll miss out by never having tried his luck in Capital City and how 18 months ago he had full time job, steady girlfriend and could never have done it but now he's freelance, single, no ties, is it now or never?  All his friends here are settling down and having kids but he's friends with a younger crowd in the big city where there might be more job opportunity and more fun.

Gah! I didn't know what to say.  I lived in capital city for Uni and a few years of work and didn't feel it was all it was cracked up to, especially if you're not earning huge bucks. I feel much happier now I'm in smaller city without such presure and a great group of friends. I think i said something along those lines and how it's gamble to throw everything away when you don't have a job to go to etc but he seemed really excited by the prospect.  Explained my social life revolved around couples too and I knew where he was coming from but you can never have everything. 

Oh well, maybe I misread everything. I just don't get it  :-\

Really really like the guy.
« Last Edit: August 30, 2011, 12:09:14 PM by Samgirl2 »

Judah

  • Hero Member
  • ***
  • Posts: 4769
  • California, U.S.A
Re: Co-Worker - When you think he likes you back, but just can't be sure!
« Reply #53 on: August 30, 2011, 12:26:34 PM »
The fact that he's thinking of moving doesn't mean he isn't interested in you.  DH and I had been dating for months when I up and moved away.  It's what I needed to do for me, and you two aren't even dating.  I think now is the time to make a move and  let him know how you feel.
Ask for what you want. Let's be clear on this one:
Subtle hints don't work.
Strong hints don't work.
Really obvious hints don't work.
Just say it!

-The Car Talk Guys

prairie_dances

  • Member
  • **
  • Posts: 145
Re: Co-Worker - When you think he likes you back, but just can't be sure!
« Reply #54 on: August 31, 2011, 11:52:13 AM »
I agree with Scout Finch. Thanks for the update.  He sounds like a great guy.
"It does not do to dwell on dreams and forget to live." - Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Stone

                                     
New York

Spoder

  • Hero Member
  • ***
  • Posts: 3657
Re: Co-Worker - When you think he likes you back, but just can't be sure!
« Reply #55 on: August 31, 2011, 11:56:25 AM »
This is interesting! How's she supposed to 'let him know', though? Someone give the girl some specific advice, stat!  ;)

(I'm no help, I'm hopeless in that department).

Perfect Circle

  • Hero Member
  • ***
  • Posts: 2997
  • Birdie in the hand for life's rich demand
Re: Co-Worker - When you think he likes you back, but just can't be sure!
« Reply #56 on: August 31, 2011, 11:59:47 AM »
Just ask him out. It's the only way to know. Sometimes you have to be brave and just do it, at least you then have an answer.
There's a secret stigma, reaping wheel.
Diminish, a carnival of sorts.
Chronic town, poster torn, reaping wheel.
Stranger, stranger to these parts.

Spoder

  • Hero Member
  • ***
  • Posts: 3657
Re: Co-Worker - When you think he likes you back, but just can't be sure!
« Reply #57 on: August 31, 2011, 12:02:17 PM »
Just ask him out. It's the only way to know. Sometimes you have to be brave and just do it, at least you then have an answer.

But...ask him where? And more importantly, how will the OP know whether he thinks they're going out as a date, or just as friends? (Maybe this is obvious to her and I'm not helping; if so, apologies, OP).

Perfect Circle

  • Hero Member
  • ***
  • Posts: 2997
  • Birdie in the hand for life's rich demand
Re: Co-Worker - When you think he likes you back, but just can't be sure!
« Reply #58 on: August 31, 2011, 12:06:14 PM »
Sorry, I'm on my phone, so not quoting.

Just ask. Would you like to go to dinner/movies/drinks whatever the OP likes to do, as a date.

I know it can be scary, but if one of these people never makes a move they may be wondering forever about what could have been.
There's a secret stigma, reaping wheel.
Diminish, a carnival of sorts.
Chronic town, poster torn, reaping wheel.
Stranger, stranger to these parts.

jimithing

  • Super Hero!
  • ****
  • Posts: 19737
  • Life Is Too Short to Wear a Bad Outfit!
Re: Co-Worker - When you think he likes you back, but just can't be sure!
« Reply #59 on: August 31, 2011, 12:06:42 PM »
Just ask him out. It's the only way to know. Sometimes you have to be brave and just do it, at least you then have an answer.

I agree. It seems like this has been going on, with possible hints and mixed signals, for a very long time. I would get stuck in these patters when I was younger. The hopeful love. I finally realized that sometimes, you can't just wait for the guy to make the first move.

I think she needs to ask him out outside of work. Not coffee on a break. But dinner or coffee after work, or on a weekend. That takes it to the next level, rather than perpetual friend zone.