Bad Grammar in Public

[Hollanda]

Here is a picture of a pub in my local high street.



Wrong on so many levels.

It makes me twitch so much that I harbour fantasies of going down there in the middle of the night to correct it.

I would just make a little story in my head that the pub belongs to two brothers whose last name is Half and they think this is a very funny joke. Of course, they in turn lay awake at night wondering whether they are just torturing grammarians or if anyone else gets it.

Even if that was the case, there would not be an apostrophe there.

They could have called the pub "The Half Pinter" or "Quick Half" or even "Half and Half".

[hobish]

^ No, it could work. A lot of times you see places named Joe's or Marjory's instead of Joe's Pub or Marjory's Diner. That one would just be The Two Half's as in The Two Half's Pub or The Two Half's Place.

[Hollanda]

Or "Get Us A Half" Inn...

[Miss Vertigo]

^ No, it could work. A lot of times you see places named Joe's or Marjory's instead of Joe's Pub or Marjory's Diner. That one would just be The Two Half's as in The Two Half's Pub or The Two Half's Place.

Hmm, yeah, but because there would be two Half brothers they would be the Halfs, plural, so it would have to be The Two Halfs'.

Or perhaps we're giving it way too much thought for a Friday night 

[Hollanda]

Or they could make it into a sports bar and call it...

"A Game of Two Halfs".

I sincerely apologise.

[hobish]

^ No, it could work. A lot of times you see places named Joe's or Marjory's instead of Joe's Pub or Marjory's Diner. That one would just be The Two Half's as in The Two Half's Pub or The Two Half's Place.

Hmm, yeah, but because there would be two Half brothers they would be the Halfs, plural, so it would have to be The Two Halfs'.

Or perhaps we're giving it way too much thought for a Friday night 

Oh, no! You're right! I thought i had found a way to keep the twitching down. Now i will not sleep tonight.

 

Or they could make it into a sports bar and call it...

"A Game of Two Halfs".

I sincerely apologise.

I love it. I'm trying so hard to hold in the giggles. 

[Hollanda]

^ No, it could work. A lot of times you see places named Joe's or Marjory's instead of Joe's Pub or Marjory's Diner. That one would just be The Two Half's as in The Two Half's Pub or The Two Half's Place.

Hmm, yeah, but because there would be two Half brothers they would be the Halfs, plural, so it would have to be The Two Halfs'.

Or perhaps we're giving it way too much thought for a Friday night 

Oh, no! You're right! I thought i had found a way to keep the twitching down. Now i will not sleep tonight.

 

Or they could make it into a sports bar and call it...

"A Game of Two Halfs".

I sincerely apologise.

I love it. I'm trying so hard to hold in the giggles. 

If someone stole something from that pub, I guess it would be half-inched (pinched).

Ok I will stop now.

[Shoo]

Some people apparently believe that the quotes are added for emphasis, instead of using *asterisks* or caps.

Do not throw towels into the *Toilets*
(unsaid but implied: put them elsewhere, like the bin provided.)

In a pub I used to frequent, it does not matter whether the words are 250ft high, written in bright red and in bold, people still put TP in the loo, and they always clog up and flood. Result? Sopping wet TP on the floor.  Nice.

Toilets should be able to handle TP.  If putting TP in the toilet causes flooding, then that establishment has some seriously bad plumbing.  I would venture that most people naturally assume they should put their used toilet paper in the toilet. 

Paper towels and other larger, thicker paper products should never be put in them, however.

[NestHolder]

I try not to be a customer of anyone who misuses apostrophes... but I'd starve to death if I kept very strictly to my principles.  However, I am pleased to report that Marks & Spencer responded to customer demand and now have "10 items or fewer" signs!

I nearly had a fit of the vapours when I found a sign on one of the cross-trainers at my gym explaining that the machine was not working and they were sorry for the 'icovience'.  It was not hand-written, so somebody was too bone idle to use a spell-checker.

[Hollanda]

I try not to be a customer of anyone who misuses apostrophes... but I'd starve to death if I kept very strictly to my principles.  However, I am pleased to report that Marks & Spencer responded to customer demand and now have "10 items or fewer" signs!

I nearly had a fit of the vapours when I found a sign on one of the cross-trainers at my gym explaining that the machine was not working and they were sorry for the 'icovience'.  It was not hand-written, so somebody was too bone idle to use a spell-checker.

I love M&S. "This isn't just any sumptuous, creamy, milky chocolate mousse...this is M&S food...." Mmmmmmmmmmmmm. What would I not give for one of THOSE right now? Can't have mousses apparently!!!

[Carnation]

What really gets my goat is when people advertise an item for, say, .50¢. Unless you mean that the item is 50/100ths (or 1/2) of a penny, then it is not .50¢. It is 50¢, or $.50, or $0.50.

I have always wanted to try to pay someone 1 penny and ask for my change when something is advertised as .50¢, but I never have.

Of course, it has always been my life's dream to have a giant red sharpie and go around correcting incorrect grammar on signs.

I'm in!   I'll even bring the markers!

[Carnation]

This was inscribed on a brass plaque at a historic site.

"This was the site of one of Mulberry's Street's oldest houses, Circa 1830"

[jayhawk]

We ate at a little cafe today that misspelled omelette two different ways - omlet and omlett.  Also, biscuits were buscits and something else - my eyes were starting to water.  There was also an errant apostrophe on the second page. 

Food was good (although very slow).  Don't think I'll be going there again.

[Mental Magpie]

I try not to be a customer of anyone who misuses apostrophes... but I'd starve to death if I kept very strictly to my principles.  However, I am pleased to report that Marks & Spencer responded to customer demand and now have "10 items or fewer" signs!

I nearly had a fit of the vapours when I found a sign on one of the cross-trainers at my gym explaining that the machine was not working and they were sorry for the 'icovience'.  It was not hand-written, so somebody was too bone idle to use a spell-checker.

What really gets me is just HOW can someone ignore that big zig-zagging red line that tells you that you are incorrect?!  It boggles the mind.

[Hollanda]

I try not to be a customer of anyone who misuses apostrophes... but I'd starve to death if I kept very strictly to my principles.  However, I am pleased to report that Marks & Spencer responded to customer demand and now have "10 items or fewer" signs!

I nearly had a fit of the vapours when I found a sign on one of the cross-trainers at my gym explaining that the machine was not working and they were sorry for the 'icovience'.  It was not hand-written, so somebody was too bone idle to use a spell-checker.

What really gets me is just HOW can someone ignore that big zig-zagging red line that tells you that you are incorrect?!  It boggles the mind.

I don't know, but apparently they can.  It's hilarious when it's on a huge blackboard outside a grocery shop. We've seen things like:

"Lunch's from £5!"

"Two bottle's of wine for £10"

I honestly feel like asking these people, "Were you never taught how to spell and use punctuation correctly?? Then I feel like I am being pedantic...

The "their, there and they're" confusion gets on my nerves a lot as well. I see it a lot on FB ("Their was no point" or "There over their"?!), as does the your and you're. "Your getting on my nerves with you're awful spelling"). Gah.