Author Topic: Worst Date Ever.....  (Read 66290 times)

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Clara Bow

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Re: Worst Date Ever.....
« Reply #15 on: June 13, 2011, 12:31:06 AM »
I have to hand it to you Bijou for totally flipping a mean girls moment on it's ear. I hope he felt mighty crunchy for being a cad.
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M-theory

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Re: Worst Date Ever.....
« Reply #16 on: June 13, 2011, 12:35:43 AM »
He got engaged to almost every girlfriend he ever had (I turned him down, it was six months into the relationship and I was 18)...He was insanely jealous - I walked out of a pub one night after he accused me of having an affair with his best friend (who was going out with my best friend!).  

This sounds so much like my guild's second in command that I almost did a cereal spit-take. He's British, even. He's a brilliant strategist and player, but I feel a frisson of dread every time he starts dating a new woman.

SoCalVal

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Re: Worst Date Ever.....
« Reply #17 on: June 13, 2011, 12:49:27 AM »
Then, Jake goes in for the kill.

"I've always liked big girls."

 :o

Okay, I was no waif, but who wants THAT pointed out?

Okay, I'm only partway through your post, but I had to say that part made me literally laugh out loud (and very few things do).  DF was just about to say something to me when I started laughing so I had to tell him what it was.  Oh, that's just so bad! (and I'm certainly eons from waifdom myself so I could see how that would just not go over well with me either).



SoCalVal

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Re: Worst Date Ever.....
« Reply #18 on: June 13, 2011, 12:57:30 AM »
Well, with this story ehell gets another peak at My Crazy...

So my mom's parents were very controlling, and she followed suit. I was the first born grandchild and a girl, so there was nothing I did that wasn't monitored. Really- if I was invited to another students birthday party, my mom went too. She also worked as support staff in my school district and always chose assignments in the school I was in.

Finally, I get asked out on a date in my junior year of high school. My first date. He is a friend of my closest friend (whose parents were as hands off as mine were hands on) and he had graduated from the high school the year before. Of course, I told my mother about this and at first she refused to let me go. I begged and pleaded and stomped my foot a few times. She responded that she wanted to go over to his parents home and meet them and check out where he lived. I was not having that, so I told her I would just cancel.

A few days later she suggested he come in to meet her when he picks me up. That, I was willing to do. So I'm all excited, getting ready for my date. Date drives up and knocks on the door. I come out of my room to see him sitting nervously on a chair as my mother pulls an 8x10 copy of his high school year book picture out of her purse, places it on the table and says "I have done a lot of research on you. I spoke to your former teachers and your guidance counselors. I know what your grades were. I know your address and I know your parent's names and where they work. Keep that in mind when you are out with my daughter."

Date assures her that we will be fine. I was, of course, livid. Its one thing to be overprotective. It was crossing the line into using her position at the school to make such a show. That made me feel completely violated.

When we get in the car, Date says how weird it is that she did that. I agree. She asks if she was always like that. I confirmed. He took me to dinner but cancelled on the movie and meeting friends part and dropped me off very quickly. The story spread like wildfire and I didn't go on another date until I moved out of my parent's house.

Okay, I think you win...



BarensMom

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Re: Worst Date Ever.....
« Reply #19 on: June 13, 2011, 01:01:14 AM »
On my first date with a cute guy, we decided to go to the cinema and see "China Syndrome."  We sat in one of the back rows in the middle, when all of a sudden, I feel a big bump, someone said, "Excuse me," and I feel an entire extra-large Coke going down my hair, new satin blouse and coat.  I sat there, wet and sticky, throughout the movie.  After the movie, the guy wanted to go to a restaurant, but I asked him to take me home.  As soon as we got to my parent's house, he reached over to kiss me, but I was out the door and into the house so fast it made his head spin.  It took me three days to get the Coke out of my hair, the satin blouse was ruined, and that guy and I have been together for 32 years and married for 24 years in July.

SoCalVal

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Re: Worst Date Ever.....
« Reply #20 on: June 13, 2011, 01:07:57 AM »
You totally spotted my inspiration....I love this site.

I think your thread actually reminded me of how I came across Etiquette Hell in the first place -- I was googling for worst date ever sites (because I've always found the tales quite entertaining).



Clara Bow

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Re: Worst Date Ever.....
« Reply #21 on: June 13, 2011, 01:11:31 AM »
On my first date with a cute guy, we decided to go to the cinema and see "China Syndrome."  We sat in one of the back rows in the middle, when all of a sudden, I feel a big bump, someone said, "Excuse me," and I feel an entire extra-large Coke going down my hair, new satin blouse and coat.  I sat there, wet and sticky, throughout the movie.  After the movie, the guy wanted to go to a restaurant, but I asked him to take me home.  As soon as we got to my parent's house, he reached over to kiss me, but I was out the door and into the house so fast it made his head spin.  It took me three days to get the Coke out of my hair, the satin blouse was ruined, and that guy and I have been together for 32 years and married for 24 years in July.

Having been on the receiving end of a beer-baptism I know your pain well.
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Clara Bow

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Re: Worst Date Ever.....
« Reply #22 on: June 13, 2011, 01:12:47 AM »
Then, Jake goes in for the kill.

"I've always liked big girls."

 :o

Okay, I was no waif, but who wants THAT pointed out?

Okay, I'm only partway through your post, but I had to say that part made me literally laugh out loud (and very few things do).  DF was just about to say something to me when I started laughing so I had to tell him what it was.  Oh, that's just so bad! (and I'm certainly eons from waifdom myself so I could see how that would just not go over well with me either).

I was smaller then than I am now but was way more sensitive about my weight....I couldn't believe that anyone would bring it up that way. I have to say that I raise a glass to poor Jake every time I hear Freddy Mercury belting out "Fat-Bottom Girls".
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Petticoats

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Re: Worst Date Ever.....
« Reply #23 on: June 13, 2011, 11:30:38 AM »
Ooh, I've got a couple.

In high school: a smart nerdy type, J, and I were in history class together and getting along well, so he invited me to a football game one evening so that we could trade snarky remarks about it. When he arrived to pick me up, he

a) was extremely late
b) had a friend with him
c) announced himself to be drunk (and friend definitely was)

If I'd had my wits about me I would have said "You two have fun" and not gone with him. But I got in the car. We dropped off drunken friend, after which J announced that he had no money. I had none on me, since I'd expected him to pay our way. Again I should have declared date over. Instead, I bethought myself of a good bookstore near my house (close enough for me to walk home, if necessary). The two of us browsed through the humor section for an hour or so before I told him I had to go home.

The other colorfully bad date was my grandmother's fault. She took in student boarders, and as soon as one new boarder, A, arrived from France, my Dana spontaneously told him that I wanted to date him. She also told him that I wanted to take him to a particular destination (the Swan Coach House, for those of you who know it).

I had never met him, let alone expressed any interest in dating him. So after she told me this and after I hitched up my dangling jaw, I wrested control of the situation. I went over to her house and introduced myself to the very quiet A, and said brightly, "So Dana tells me that you're interested in joining us for lunch at the Swan Coach House!" (I was very proud of this bit of spin doctoring.)

A, perhaps feeling bludgeoned into acquiescence, acquiesced.

The Swan Coach House, which I love, is an almost aggressively feminine place. On any given day you'll find bridesmaid luncheons or women's club groups there. Sure enough, A was about the only guy there when we arrived. Any time a man walked in the door, he would say plaintively, "There is a friend." We were seated next to a group of saleswomen for a certain cosmetics concern, and were treated to such declarations as "Those of you who earned a pink Cadillac this year, raise your hands! Raise 'em high! Now give yourselves a big hand!"

Oddly enough, we did go out again. Once. I think both of us were just being polite.

Oh, also: for our lunch at the Swan Coach House, A was wearing about seven different plaids. It was the clashiest ensemble I had ever seen. We're talking check pants, windowpane shirt, argyle sweater, plaid tie, argyle socks. All of his loudness was reserved for his wardrobe, though; he had a very retiring personality.

MsCopper

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Re: Worst Date Ever.....
« Reply #24 on: June 13, 2011, 12:27:20 PM »
"Today is the tomorrow we worried about yesterday"

2littlemonkeys

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Re: Worst Date Ever.....
« Reply #25 on: June 13, 2011, 12:53:52 PM »
I think I've related this story here before.  I'll try to keep it to the highlights, as the whole story can easily turn into a novel.

I met Bob whilst out with some guy friends from college that also lived in my city.  I mistakenly thought they knew him.  They didn't.  The cads had a side project called "Get 2LM (crude word for intimate relations.)"   >:(  (and yes, they got quite an earful about this later.)

I agreed to meet him for coffee the next day.  Coffee went well.  He wasn't really my type but he seemed nice enough, so I decided to go out with him again.  We decided to see Hit Movie that had just come out.  Through this whole thing, I followed the urge to not give him my home address or phone number.  I'm glad I listened to that instinct.

That night, we met at the theater.  At the ticket window, he announced that he already bought tickets to Other Movie, as he'd already watched Hit Movie a couple of times.  (Well, thanks so much for mentioning that.  And for just picking out what we were going to see.  It was not a movie I really cared to watch.)

We had some time to kill before the movie, so we went across the street for ice cream.  I learned some stuff about Bob.

- He would never divorce his future wife.  Ever.  Not even if she wanted it.

- He thought I was real purty.  (I wish I could convey the tone but it was along the lines of "...and you'd look great in the cage I had built just for you.")

- He didn't like it when women ate large portions.  They should do that in private. (as I'm tucking into a nice sized hot fudge sundae.)

Finally, it was time for the movie.  The first half was fine and the movie wasn't half bad.  Then Bob got ants in his pants.  He would.not.shut.up.

"Are you okay?
"Can I get you anything?"
"Are you cold?"
"Are you hungry?"  (What?  After I made a glutton of myself on that hot fudge sundae?   :P)
"Do you like the movie?"

This went on through the better part of the second half.  At one point, one of the main characters was giving an emotional speech and I had gotten caught up in this stupid movie that HE wanted to see.  Bob got his nose bent out of shape because I was paying attention to Emotional Speech and not him.  "Why won't you talk to me?"   ::)

It was right around then I was SURE there wasn't going to be a third date.  I had taken the train to meet him and he walked me back to the station.  On the way there, he put his arm around me.  I must have stiffened or something because he got mad and told me I was a very cold person and had I ever been r*ped?.  Yes, Bob.  That's the only reason I could possibly not be interested in your getting all touchy feely.  I explained that perhaps we weren't a good fit and went on my way.  He called my office about a month later to see if I'd be interested in going out again.  I reiterated that we just weren't a good match.  He snarled "Oh.  Well, have a nice life." and hung up on me.

I rather think I dodged a bullet with that one.

The boys were in SO much trouble and from then on, I refused to date anyone they presented to me unless I knew it was someone they knew.

Bijou

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Re: Worst Date Ever.....
« Reply #26 on: June 13, 2011, 12:59:51 PM »
I have to hand it to you Bijou for totally flipping a mean girls moment on it's ear. I hope he felt mighty crunchy for being a cad.
I would have loved to be a fly on the wall of his brain while he tried to figure that one out.
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geordicat

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Re: Worst Date Ever.....
« Reply #27 on: June 13, 2011, 01:23:18 PM »
Ok, mine is actually part of the stories on the main page.  :)


After my divorce, and I was ready to start dating again, I signed up with a few on line dating agencies.  I got a ton of weirdoes, which I quickly screened out.  Then "Mike" emailed me.  He seemed nice enough, we exchanged a few emails, finally went on to a phone call.   Again, he seemed nice enough, seemed to have a good sense of humor, seemed smart.  We exchanged pictures.  Not a bad looking guy.. pics are kinda out of focus ... but to me, it's not looks, but what the person truly is.  We decided to meet. 

He told me he was 5'10" and 170 lbs.  Nice size, since I'm 5'2" and 125.  So, I go to the public location where we are to meet.  I don't see any 5'10" guy walking around, but I do see this little nervous guy about 5'1" and maybe.. MAYBE 110 lbs.  Yup.  Not only was I taller, but I outweighed him.   That was Mike.   We decided to go to a huge open market in Seattle for our date.  This guy IMMEDIATELY latched onto me and would not let go.  Each time we walked by another guy, Mike would wrap both arms around me and cling to me.  UGH.  Finally I had to pat his arm and say "Don't worry.. I'll protect you."   

Mike must have suffered from sinus problems.  He kept blowing his nose into his hanky.    He'd pull out that hanky, honk loudly into it, THEN PEEK!!   Also, he kept um.... releasing intestinal pressure.  We all fart, and sometimes one does slip out.  You get embarrassed, say excuse me, and move on.  Not this guy. He kept farting.  Didn't say boo diddly about it either.   

We went into one of the shops there.  It had all kinds of old stuff, which I love looking at.  I picked up a hat, tried it on, and thought it looked really cute.  The price was much much MUCH more than I would have thought, and I said a surprised "Sh*t!!"    You'd think I just ran over Mike's mother the way he carried on.  He threw his arms up, looked completely surprised, stuttered.. and said he's not used to such 'foul language.' 

Well, by this time I know the date's gonna end soon and it's gonna be the ONLY date.  So I had to have fun with him.  I started saying every cuss word I could think of just to watch his reaction.   We got hungry, so we went to eat.  He said he couldn't eat spicy as it didn't agree with him.  So we went to a Chinese place and got Mongolian Beef.  Um... SPICY!  The waiter kinda tossed two menus onto a dirty table in the corner and said that was our table and pointed us there.  He brought the tea, I poured (Mike's cup first, manners you know) and the pot kinda slopped a bit.  Mike jumped up, squealed like a little girl, threw his arms up and jumped back about 3 feet.  All for a drop of tea that landed on the table.   

The Mongolian Beef comes and we start eating.  I used the chopsticks and wasn't paying attention to Mike, kinda just nodding and saying "uh huh" a lot.  I was starving so was eating.  I ate a good 2/3 of my lunch, then glanced at Mike's plate.  He barely had 1/4 of his gone.  He said "Oh, I chew each bite 27 times.  It helps me digest it better."  Sheesh.   I said I wanted to go home as I had to pick up my son and take him to a movie I had promised to take him to.  We're walking to the car and I was putting my earrings in my ears.  I have 7 holes.  He looked kinda nervous and asked if I had my nose pierced.  I don't, but I have a teeny gold hoop earring that will sit just right so it looks like I do.  I put that on and grinned at him.  He looked even MORE nervous and asked if I had anything else pierced.  Right there on the streets of Seattle I said, loudly, "SURE!!  Both nipples!!  Wanna see??"  and started unbuttoning my shirt.  The look on his face was priceless.   That was a first date/LAST date with that guy.  I did call him up and thank him for a memorable afternoon (hey, I didn't lie!), but I don't think we'd be compatible in a serious dating situation.
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lipli

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Re: Worst Date Ever.....
« Reply #28 on: June 13, 2011, 01:28:27 PM »
Mine is an awkward date.  I have nothing against guns (fiance has one) but I'm very accident prone (due to a head injury).  So I really don't like to be around them or glass things (broken too many things in my life).  Personal safety over any sort of anti-gun thing.  End caveat.  

I don't tell people my issues with guns because it rarely ever comes up (and he's the reason I have it).  This guy accessorized in guns.  On the night stand, on the coffee table, a few in the closet.  Just chilling.  Most people I had met up until this point who had guns kept them locked up or somehow safe.  So when he said he owned guns, I thought he had taken similar precautions.  Nope.  They were everywhere.  I spent those dates (because I'm a slow learner) sitting very very still because I never knew when I would happen upon a gun. It was like an Easter egg hunt but with guns.  

He was a nice enough guy (and very cute) but I knew I couldn't date him because I would have to ask that he keeps them away from me and I knew that wouldn't be a fight I wanted to have.  

SamiHami

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Re: Worst Date Ever.....
« Reply #29 on: June 13, 2011, 03:01:10 PM »
oh, I've been debating whether or not I should tell on myself...

Okay, here goes. Please don't judge me too harshly!

It's my 21st birthday. I wanted to go out and party, because you know-you can't celebrate your 21st without getting bombed, right? ::)

So I was still friends with a former boyfriend, and although our relationship ended a couple of years earlier, we still hung out together. We decided to go hit the town to celebrate. He also mentioned that he had a friend he thought I might like and suggested bringing him along. The more the merrier, I thought, so off we went.

Being my 21st, it turns out that my money was no good. If EXBF or Friend weren't buying me drinks, the bartenders were giving them to me for free. Now, I won't say that I'd never had hard liquor before, but I was definitely not used to the quantity of vodka I drank. But, I'm getting ahead of myself...

So anyway, we start our evening and everything seems fine. Friend seems like a nice guy and we hit it off right away. Much fun is had, and everything is lovely. Then Friend lets it slip that he's married. :o  He's been flirting with me all night, talking about going out one-on-one sometime, etc. Of course, I am horrified that this married guy and I had been flirting---ugh. 

Well, that put the kibosh on the evening. The three of us get into EXBF's car and head toward home. I'm pretty angry and pretty drunk. I see movement out of the corner of my eye. Friend (seated in the backseat) is reaching between the two front seats, attempting to grab my breast!!!

What happens next is not pretty. Right about then all that vodka is making itself known.  :-X :-X :-X. I'm trying to keep it together and EXBF is trying to find somewhere to pull over, but it's too late. I realize it's going to happen now, all the while Friend is stiil trying to cop a feel. Without thinking, I grabbed his hand to pull it away from my breast--and threw up in it. :-X :-X :-X

This was definitely not my proudest moment. At least Friend stopped hitting on me after that...

And as for EXBF? Well, he was stupid enough to try to set me up with a married guy (turns out he had split from his wife something like two or three days before all this happened), so his penance was having to clean out his car.

I wasn't off the hook though. That was when I learned about hangovers. :-\

I can't believe I'm telling on myself here...I generally do not go around telling that story. Again, please don't judge me too harshly! I'm blaming youth and stupidity on that one!

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