Author Topic: Worst Date Ever.....  (Read 82707 times)

0 Members and 1 Guest are viewing this topic.

aiki

  • Hero Member
  • ***
  • Posts: 1191
  • We can't all have Pippa's backside.
Re: Worst Date Ever.....
« Reply #150 on: June 16, 2011, 06:23:28 PM »
I've gone out with some doozies, but the worst was definitely the time I had to climb a tree in a cemetery to escape a Suprise Vampire and ended up being mistaken for a zombie.

I think you win this thread.
"A true gentleman is one who is never unintentionally rude."  - Oscar Wilde

Black Delphinium

  • The Black Flower
  • Super Hero!
  • ****
  • Posts: 7491
Re: Worst Date Ever.....
« Reply #151 on: June 16, 2011, 06:38:35 PM »
Sad thing is, first time I read that sentence, I thought it said "Sunrise Vampire", and I was really confused.
When angels go bad, they go worse than anyone. Remember, Lucifer was an angel. ~The Marquis De Carabas

Diane AKA Traska

  • Hero Member
  • ***
  • Posts: 4520
  • Or you can just call me Diane. (NE USA EHellion)
Re: Worst Date Ever.....
« Reply #152 on: June 16, 2011, 06:53:29 PM »
I just hate it when vampires go around Masquerading as normal folk.
Location:
Philadelphia, PA

Black Delphinium

  • The Black Flower
  • Super Hero!
  • ****
  • Posts: 7491
Re: Worst Date Ever.....
« Reply #153 on: June 16, 2011, 06:57:35 PM »
I just hate it when vampires go around Masquerading as normal folk.
I see what you did there.


...but I can't wait for the MMO. ;D
When angels go bad, they go worse than anyone. Remember, Lucifer was an angel. ~The Marquis De Carabas

Maujer

  • Hero Member
  • ***
  • Posts: 1077
Re: Worst Date Ever.....
« Reply #154 on: June 16, 2011, 07:12:18 PM »
I'm giggling at the Second Life "Be a Vampire" banner at the top of my page right now.

J.D.

  • Ice Cube Terrorist
  • Member
  • **
  • Posts: 515
Re: Worst Date Ever.....
« Reply #155 on: June 16, 2011, 08:03:24 PM »
First, I have to admit that this "worst date" story isn't mine, but I have been granted permission to share it from one of the involved parties. I will try to keep this as polite as possible. If anyone is offended, I'll delete the post, but I had to try putting it up here, because I think it's a pretty good contender for "Worst Date in History".

A good friend of mine, Brad, was engaged to a woman named Janet about six years ago. One afternoon, they decided that, with Brad's roommate Jim out of the apartment, they would spend the day having a drink, a nice lunch, and playing a little scrabble. A few drinks turned into an alarming number of drinks, and soon, Brad and Janet found themselves quit inebriated and lunch was skipped in favour of scrabble. They decided after their game, they were hungry, but that cooking was too much trouble - especially while intoxicated - so they opted to order in.

Brad didn't have a computer at that point, but Jim had graciously offered to let Brad to use his whenever he needed to. Brad went into Jim's room to use his computer to order pizza, and Janet followed, and sat on Jim's bed. It must be noted here that Janet was not yet dressed, and was wearing nothing. This becomes important very shortly.

As Brad was perusing the website of the local pizza joint, he heard Janet say, "Uh oh!" and start to giggle. He replied, "What to you mean, 'uh oh'?" Janet replied with more giggles, and then, "I pooed". Janet was so drunk, she'd lost control of her bodily functions, and had defecated on herself, and - potentially - Jim's bed. Brad proceeded to panic, hauled Janet into the bathroom, placed her in the tub and hosed her down. Upon close inspection, he discovered that Jim's bed had not been damaged, but he frantically washed and Fabreezed everything.

A few weeks later, Janet emailed Brad and ended their engagement and their relationship, claiming that she needed to find herself. Good riddance. The incident, which became known as "The Poo Story" circulated among our friends, was retold on podcasts and in blogs, and became the stuff of legend - to everyone but Jim. Brad firmly believed that if anything could end his fifteen years of friendship with Jim, this would do it.

About a year ago, Jim and Brad were sitting in their living room sharing a few beers, and Brad decided it was time to confess. He told Jim the whole story. Jim sat quietly, absorbing the whole tale, and then took a swig of his beer before replying, "That girl was a giant slice of crazy pie. Stop dating insane women."

Happily, Brad is now dating a lovely, sane woman, and is drinking substantially less. Jim purchased a new bed.
« Last Edit: June 16, 2011, 08:05:45 PM by J.D. »

Wavicle

  • Hero Member
  • ***
  • Posts: 3604
Re: Worst Date Ever.....
« Reply #156 on: June 16, 2011, 08:14:48 PM »
This didn't start out as a date, but the dude apparently wanted it to end as one. It was all so weird I am not even sure if I saw what I saw considering the theater was dark and I may have had a mini stroke each time he opened his mouth. When I was in high school, I was visiting with my friend and she decided to go to the movies with a male friend of hers, who also brought along a male friend of his.

We went to see Master and Commander, and the two of us were bored to death. Not politely (we were 15) we started whispering to each other. Creepy Dude turned to me and said "Hey, you may want to be quiet" and shows me his KNIFE!  :o Even more shockingly, I just sat there petrified since I did not have the spine to just leave especially considering he was blocking my access to the aisle. Towards the end of the movie, he starts whispering about wanting me to be his girlfriend  ??? I ignored him because of the whole threat with a knife thing. Apparently later he was telling his buddy how cute I was.

A few months later, friend and I were sitting in the back of her moms car at a stop sign, and we look up to see Creepy Dude walking down the street by us. We see each other at the same time. His face lights up. I could not control the look of terror and disgust as my friends mom drove away.

Sirius

  • Super Hero!
  • ****
  • Posts: 9867
  • Stars in my eyes!
Re: Worst Date Ever.....
« Reply #157 on: June 16, 2011, 09:08:29 PM »
I don't know how this all ended but a woman I used to work with came in one day all starry eyed over a guy who claimed to be a secret agent.

I've never been a secret agent but I would think the first rule of Secret Agents is don't go around telling everyone you're a secret agent.  I believe it was her very own "Things That Are Obvious" moment.

Maybe he was a retired secret agent? :)

In the case of the guy I was fixed up with, he didn't claim anything more exciting for himself than a tech support position. Plausible.

A friend of mine was dating someone who claimed to be a CIA agent.  Turned out he was on parole for drug crimes.  She found out when his parole officer called her looking for him.  When I met him I knew he was a lying toad - for one thing, he was talking total bull patties about telescopes.  Now, I know telescopes.  I've been into astronomy since I was ten, which was mumble years ago, and I figured that someone who would talk total baloney about something as innocuous as telescopes was probably lying like a Persian rug about other things.  I was right, it turned out. 

eclecticgrrl

  • Hero Member
  • ***
  • Posts: 1155
Re: Worst Date Ever.....
« Reply #158 on: June 17, 2011, 04:00:25 PM »
I feel like we ought to create a Hall of Fame for VorpalBunny's surprise vampire.  That story should be enshrined somewhere.

Corbin

  • Hero Member
  • ***
  • Posts: 2287
Re: Worst Date Ever.....
« Reply #159 on: June 17, 2011, 04:17:35 PM »
I feel like we ought to create a Hall of Fame for VorpalBunny's surprise vampire.  That story should be enshrined somewhere.
I know, right?

Shouldn't she get a trophy or something? Maybe a cake? Heck, a parade!
"If someone else posted this, I would be convinced they were making it up..."

Diane AKA Traska

  • Hero Member
  • ***
  • Posts: 4520
  • Or you can just call me Diane. (NE USA EHellion)
Re: Worst Date Ever.....
« Reply #160 on: June 17, 2011, 04:19:23 PM »
Vorpalbunny, why didn't you have him arrested? He assaulted you and chased you and his "attentions" required you to seek medical attention. Not to mention what he could have been carrying...

I was young and stupid. Really stupid. I know I dodged a bacteria-laden bullet. It's difficult to explain why I didn't go to the cops. When he bit me, it was like he really thought I was a kindred spirit and that I'd be fine with it, as if he'd given me a simple peck. Even when he was chasing me, it was more like he was really concerned that I was ok. After I blew up at him, he got a clue and he has since sought counseling.

::Falls apart laughing::

Sorry, sorry.  I guess you should have told him, "not to be A Negative person, but you're just not my type."
Location:
Philadelphia, PA

Wulfie

  • Hero Member
  • ***
  • Posts: 2618
  • I'm so pretty! Oh so pretty! - Morgan the Cat
    • Unique Weddings for Unique Couples
Re: Worst Date Ever.....
« Reply #161 on: June 17, 2011, 04:47:59 PM »
I feel like we ought to create a Hall of Fame for VorpalBunny's surprise vampire.  That story should be enshrined somewhere.
I know, right?

Shouldn't she get a trophy or something? Maybe a cake? Heck, a parade!

How about a blood drive?  ;D

zyrs

  • Hero Member
  • ***
  • Posts: 1974
  • spiffily male.
Re: Worst Date Ever.....
« Reply #162 on: June 17, 2011, 06:14:36 PM »
I think VorpalBunny definitely wins.

SiotehCat

  • Hero Member
  • ***
  • Posts: 3705
Re: Worst Date Ever.....
« Reply #163 on: June 17, 2011, 06:50:06 PM »
When I was in  junior high, I started going out with Alex. One day, I get a call from Alex and Joe(mutual friend) asking me to meet them at the cheapo theater. Eager to make Alex happy, I beg my brother to drop me off at cheapo theater. I meet them inside the theater. During the movie, Alex AND Joe try to kiss me multiple times. I'm super annoyed because I really wanted to see the movie. They excuse themselves during the last half of the movie, claiming they had to use the restroom, and never came back. I waited for them outside the theater, but they were gone.

I called my brother to pick me back up.

Alex and Joe called me a couple of hours later apologizing. They said they were sorry, but "if I wasn't going to get freaky with them, then there was no sense in me being there. Oh, by the way, Joes mom saw you waiting for your brother and she thinks you stand like a *lady of the night*".  :(

Joe tried to facebook friend me a while back. Ehell no!

CG

  • Hero Member
  • ***
  • Posts: 2041
Re: Worst Date Ever.....
« Reply #164 on: June 17, 2011, 07:12:47 PM »
Glove slap!  Baby, glove slap!

I haven't finished with this thread yet, but I must know.

Was it your intention to get that stuck in my head to the tune of Love Shack?